#jaz put them in their place when they go too far

[sadlynotthevoid]

DP AU where Danny reveals the Thing to his parents an they take it well—

But now they act like Saiki Kusuo's parents.

"Danny-boy, we ran out of fudge, could you fly to the store and get some really fast?"

"Dad, I'm going to be late."

"Danny! Sweetie! The Fenton-battery for the Fenton Ultra Ray fell through the portal— can you pick it up when you get here?"

"Fine."

"...Ups. It seems we're out of fuel. Danno, do you think you could fly us the rest of the way?"

"TO MEXICO?!"

[masonmontz]

heeey, hope you like it:)

REMEMBER: english is not my first language

fluff 🥹 word count: 2,7k

✦‎۟ ࣭ ⊹

“What’s wrong, Y/n?” Jaz asked while the two of you were having afternoon coffee in a bakery in Manchester. “You've been quiet since we got here.”

“I'm all worked up, don't worry, it's nothing” your smile didn't reach your eyes and Jaz noticed, and even though you've only known each other for a short time, anyone would realize that there was something bothering you.

You and Mason had been officially dating for a little over two months, but you had met his family before that and you loved them all, it was really great spending the holidays with them in Greece.

“You can tell me, you know, don't you?” she held out her hand and you lightly squeezed her hand across the table, smiling once more and nodding. “Is it something with Mason?”

“Jaz, don’t worry, I’m fine” she rolled her eyes and you smiled, trying to push the thought that had been haunting you for a few weeks to the back of your mind, but it was inevitable.

“Okay, so let's go, I'm already missing my girls” she murmured and you smiled, remembering the photo Mason sent you minutes ago where Summer was putting makeup on him and Mila was trying to put bows in his hair. “Should we take a pie?”

“Please, lemon pie is the best ever” you almost groaned when you saw a lemon pie on the counter, so Jaz went over and asked to wrap it up. “Debbie wants us to stop by the grocery store to pick up something for dinner?”

“She texted me to say she was making lasagna. I've come to Manchester and I need to spend the day at the gym because all I do is eat.”

“She likes to spoil Mason.”

“This is ridiculous, she never makes food like this for me, only for her big baby” you couldn't help but laugh, because they were clearly jealous of the way Debbie treats Mason, and Mason loves being spoiled by them, even though the family is now full of children and he is a grown man.

“He takes advantage because he knows she does everything for him.”

“That little devil, was the same thing when he was a child.”

You and Jaz got along really well, the girls adored you too, and you were in love with Mason's nieces and nephew, but it was sad because Stacey lived far away.

You love Mason and his family so much that it hurts, especially because your family lives far away and you miss being welcomed by them, and you found comfort in your boyfriend. However, Mason never said he loved you.

Of course, everyone has their own time and maybe he isn't ready to take that step in such a new relationship, but you listen and notice how easily he says “I love you” to his family. You just wish he would tell you he loves you too.

“Hey, had fun with Jaz?” Mason asked when you arrived at his house, he hugged you and left a kiss on your lips. “I missed you, babe. My family is stealing you from me.”

“They just think I’m cooler than you” you murmured and Mason laughed. Summer ran to you and you walked away from Mason, walking behind her to the coffee table where she was coloring pictures.

“Do you want to color with me? Uncle Masey didn't want to, he said he was tired.”

“Tired, uh?” you asked and looked at Mason who just shrugged and laid down on the couch, because he hadn't done anything all day. “Summer, I'm going to take a shower and then I'll color with you, okay?”

You walked upstairs to take a shower in Mason's bedroom bathroom, and luckily you had some clothes at his place or you would have had to go to your apartment to get them. Mason walked into the room just as you entered the bathroom, you smiled as he followed you into the bathroom and sat on the edge of the tub, the same way you two do when you're talking in the bathroom.

“I just need some silence, I'll watch you take a shower” you rolled your eyes as you took off your clothes, ignoring Mason's gaze all over your body.

“Hey, the doctor texted me, I think I'm going to need to go to the hospital for a checkup tomorrow” you said, remembering the message the doctor sent you this morning. You were hospitalized for days a month ago because of severe headaches, and now you are being monitored by two doctors to see if everything is okay.

“But are you feeling any pain?” Mason asked worriedly and you quickly shook your head, watching him sigh in relief.

“They want to do new exams, I'm fine. You have training tomorrow, don't you?”

“Yes, but I'll go with you to do the exams and then I'll go to Carrington.”

“No need, Mason, I can go alone.”

“Okay, but call me and text me” you smiled at him, and Mason actually looked worried about you.

Again you thought he hadn't said “I love you” to you yet, and you looked down as you washed your hair and Mason hummed a song under his breath.

“Hey, I bought you something” Mason spoke and left the bathroom. He left the bathroom door open and you could see him walking past the bedroom with a gift box which he placed on the bed before heading back to the bathroom. “I think you'll like it.”

“What is it?”

“You will open it and see, be patient.”

Mason continued talking to you for ten minutes until you finished your shower, and he stayed there until you put on another set of clothes and organized the bathroom.

“Do you want me to dry your hair?” he asked and you looked at him through the reflection of the mirror, Mason was behind you and you smiled feeling love all over your chest. Mason stood up when you nodded, and he looked for the hairdryer he uses when he is really late.

You wanted to cry as you watched Mason drying your hair calmly, focused and sometimes smiling at you. Maybe he doesn't love you, but he definitely likes you, because no man would ever do that, right?

You looked at the floor, feeling your eyes fill with tears and blinked a few times to keep from crying. Mason noticed and turned off the dryer, turning you to face him.

“What’s wrong, babe? You've been quiet for a few days” you didn't want to tell him the real reason you were crying because you were ashamed of doubting his feelings.

“I’m a little bit worried” you said referring to the exam you will take tomorrow, and Mason hugged you and kissed your forehead.

“Nothing will happen, you’re fine and healthy and we will spend our lives together.”

“Really? Do you want to spend your life by my side?”

“Of course, why wouldn’t I want to?” you shrugged and smiled, but it still wasn't the answer you needed. “C’mere, let's open your present and put a smile on that face.”

You wiped away some tears and smiled at Mason as he pulled you over to the bed where he had placed the gift. It was a pink package with hearts drawn on it and you felt bad about tearing it, but you still pulled the package open to see what was inside.

“It's heavy, it must have been expensive” you muttered and Mason rolled his eyes.

“You can't guess the price because of the weight” he said and laughed. “Open, open.”

You swear you had stopped crying, but you started crying again as soon as you saw the gift Mason bought for you. Big tears fell as you held the box and cried. Mason stood up worriedly, hugging you.

“What’s wrong? You didn't like it?” You hugged him tightly, crying into his chest and letting your emotions take over.

“It's the most beautiful gift I've ever received.”

You held the box to look at the book nook of a village in Greece, the same one you visited when you were there on vacation. Every detail caught your attention and you couldn't speak as you sobbed, hugging Mason once more.

“Did you like it? I thought of you when I saw it, and you can put it on your bookshelf.”

“I loved it. Thank you, Mase.”

“Stop crying, okay? I just want to see you happy.”

“They are tears of happiness.”

“I'd rather see a smile on your lips.”

✦‎۟ ࣭ ⊹

“Y/n, we're going to keep you under observation tonight, okay? Your exams are altered and we need to do new exams to check if everything is okay” Doctor Reid said as he entered the room, and you sighed sitting in the hospital hallway, because it would be another long night alone in that scary place.

“But am I okay?” your heart was racing and deep down you were scared. Since you were hospitalized for the first time this has been consuming you.

“No need to worry, we just need to be sure of the result to know which medicine you can take.”

“Okay” you murmured a little in relief, and a nurse arrived and took you to the room where you would spend the night. You hated the hospital, especially being alone there for a whole night with a needle in your arm.

You sent Mason a message saying that everything was fine but he didn't reply to you, so you just talked to the nurses who were giving you medicine and making the bed where you would stay.

Half an hour later Mason appeared in the hospital room with your pink bag that he probably filled with things and a black one.

“Hey, no need for all this, it's just one night” you said seeing how many things he brought, so Mason left everything on the armchair and walked towards you.

“I'm worried, are you sure you're okay, love?” he asked and left a kiss on your forehead, then another on your lips. “One bag is mine.”

“Why? You don't have to stay here, you can stay with your family.”

“Only in your dreams will I leave you alone in the hospital, Y/N.”

“No, seriously, Doctor Reid said it's just for some tests, you can't leave your family alone there, they came to see you.”

“Hey, I'm going to stay here and I already told the coach that I'll be late tomorrow.”

You huffed, because there was nothing you could say to make Mason change his mind.

He just lay down next to you on the hospital bed, and kept you company for hours until he went to the hospital cafeteria to get something for you both to eat. He came back and stayed by your side the whole time, and when you fell asleep, Mason held you close to him and kissed your hair, snuggling into you and sleeping too, because where you are is where he feels good.

“Thank you for spending the night with me at the hospital” you said as soon as Mason dropped you off at your apartment, and he was already late for practice but didn't seem to care.

Luckily, the doctor said everything was fine and there was no reason to worry anymore, he just prescribed you some medicine to take when you have other headaches.

“You know I would stay by your side in the hospital for a month if necessary” he mumbled and you smiled, hugging him one last time before he ran off because he was late.

“I love you” you yelled, and Mason just blew you a kiss before closing the door.

✦‎۟ ࣭ ⊹

Mason has been traveling with the team and you are increasingly drowning in the thoughts that he doesn't love you. You cried a few times alone at home, watching a romantic movie or seeing someone post love quotes on the internet.

You're at rock bottom.

You were so lost in your own thoughts crying while watching The Longest Ride that you didn't notice Mason entering your apartment.

“Y/n? What’s wrong?” he asked and you got scared, trying to wipe away your tears so he wouldn't see, but it was too late.

“I'm just crying because of the movie” you pointed at the screen right at the moment Luke is picking up Sophia for a date, and there was no reason to cry.

“Hey, I know you, there's been something bothering you for days and you still haven't told me what it is. I'm getting worried and so is my mum, she said you've been quiet.”

Mason pulled you from the couch and you let more tears fall, you stood in front of him and looked him in the eyes.

“I don't want to look like a fool.”

“You know I’d never think that of you, love” he tucked your hair behind your ear.

“It's just that…” you stopped, unable to speak, but Mason encouraged you. “Do you love me?”

“What?” he asked, breathing a sigh of relief and laughing, but you cried when he didn't answer.

“You never said you loved me, and it's okay if you don't feel anything-” Mason put his hand over your mouth when you sobbed, and he stopped you from continuing to speak.

“Oh my God, I can't believe you're crying over this, baby” Mason held back his laughter. “Do you think I don't love you?”

You shrugged and looked at him with sad eyes.

“I said I love you several times” he murmured.

“No, you never said, actually.”

“I said yeah. I showed it. I showed you I love you when I introduced you to my whole family. I showed you I love you when I introduced you to my friends. I showed you I love you when I took you on a trip with my family because I know they would love you as much as I do.”

His heart was racing, and Mason continued speaking.

“I show you that I love you every day. I show you that I love you when I buy you books, when I take you out to dinner. I love you so much that I bought you a book nook from Greece for you to put among your books because it was our first trip together.”

“I showed you that I love you when I stayed by your side in the hospital for an entire night, and don't get me wrong, it wasn't to get something in return, I did it because I love you and I wouldn't leave you alone.”

“I- I” you sobbed as Mason hugged you. Now you look like a fool, because you were so focused on the words that you didn't pay attention to everything Mason does for you every day. “I’m sorry.”

“If you need to hear it, I'll say it. I love you. I love you so much Y/n that it hurts. I love you so much that I would spend a week eating your failed recipes just to make you happy. I would listen to Taylor Swift for the rest of my life just to show you that I love you. I love you.”

You were laughing and crying, and Mason was smiling too as he pulled you to sit next to him on the couch.

“I can tell you that I love you every day if you want, but I prefer to show you.”

“I'm such an idiot, my God. It's just that you say that you love your family all the time and you've never said it to me even the times I've said it.”

“Because they have the habit of saying I love you and that's why I do it, but I say I love you when I'm stuck to you all the time and don't want to let go.”

“I feel like a fool.”

“No, love, you know you don't.”

“I love you.”

“I love you. Sorry I didn't realize you wanted to hear it.”

“No, I want you to show me.”

“Ah, you don't even know what you want” he said and kissed you.

“I know exactly what I want. You. For the rest of my life.”

[katharinanadiaa]

so sorry for a late feedback, but this is so well written and such a great closure for a beautiful story. the fact that y/n wanted to choose cornwall because she wanted to share a piece of her childhood with him is so heartwarming. ‘If my baby wants to go to Cornwall then that’s where we’re going. But you best believe I’m finding the best house there’ ~ such a supportive boyfriend. and so happy that parker got to join them on this trip. love the little jaz and debbie cheeky cameo ( such a good cameo for a closure ). the way he let you take the window seat so he could lean on you is so sweet🥹 mason’s taste in choosing the house is also impeccable👌🏻 ‘Even from this angle he was the most beautiful man you’d ever seen’ ~ definitely true👍🏻 mason picking the most expensive cone with extra chocolate around the side and a flake is so mason😂 y/n’s also sweet for paying the ice cream. ‘See I have good taste’ she surely have good taste and so happy that he also loves a place that is so special to her. ‘New high score baby’ aaa, this really reminds me of his video at portsmouth😍 ‘Fancy a game of air hockey?’ i love the fact that he’s the one who’s offering but also the one that ends up losing😂 also felt sad for y/n because what a sore loser mason is🥲the way she cheered him during the clown game and her having the idea to give away their tickets is so soft. mason’s interaction with the boy and y/n’s reaction is so heartwarming🥰 love how you include one of mason’s celebration and love the fact that y/n’s the one doing it🥹 felt so bad for y/n when her hand got hit but mason peppering it with kisses is so sweet❤️‍🩹 how he gets excited when he saw the seagulls with chips dolls is so cute and the reason behind it is even cuter and his determination to get it deserves appreciation. ‘Would you please accept this seagull as a token of my apology’~ truly love how he is taking this so seriously🥹love how he bonds with parker a lot in this chapter. the way he’s going all out to swim and the flippers part is so cute, love he’s also making sure for parker to not swim too far and the way they both shakes their wet hair at y/n is the cutest thing, definitely best duo💙 such a boyfriend goals mason is for being very keen of y/n about the bath tub🤭miss sleeps a lot is a cute nickname🤏🏻 ‘They’re garnets, my birthstone’ he really makes her feel loved but y/n trying to hide her dissapointment also hurt and she does not have to apologize for not having any gift🥺 ‘You being here is more than enough for me’ ~ he really loves her for who she is🥹 love how mason still wanted to know what made y/n feel sad. love how she could be honest with him and tell him her thoughts. i love how she’s the one who up the idea of marriage first👌🏻and her confession is top notch🥹love mason’s part, he remembered the details, really makes this closure feels special 🥹‘Everything you’ve just said is all I’ve ever dreamed of’ his words are so sweet and he’s totally right they’re soulmates💙the way she thought that he asked her to stand only for a hug is so funny🤣 ‘In this life and the next and all the other ones that come after it cause you’re it for me and I’m so lucky to have found you. Cause I feel like you were put there just for me to find.‘ thank you so much for writing such sweet words thats so heartwarming🥹the proposing with a ready salted hula hoop is so cute and love that the person she ask for permission is freya🥹’Parker look. Mummy and daddy are getting married’ ~ the cutest family💙 ‘I love you too, my little mountaineer’ ~ so cutee🤏🏻 so proud of you for wrapping up such a beautiful series and thank you for your efforts to write such a great series, every character are well thought and written💙

A Mountain To Climb: The Sequel

Chapter Twelve

Note - the final chapter 🥺 thank you to everyone who’s sent me feedback and interacted with me for this series. I had a lot of fun writing it and I’m hoping we go out with a bang 😏 love you guys 🩷

Pairing - Mason Mount × Reader

Word count - 10.5k

Warnings - series will contain fluff, smut and angst

Masterlist

When Mason asked where you’d like to go on a long weekend, the last last place he was expecting you to say was Cornwall.

To say he was confused was an understatement and you could tell by the way he was looking at you that he wasn’t sure what to say but you held your ground. He’d asked you where and that’s what you wanted.

‘But we could literally go anywhere, like in the world’

‘I know’

‘And you want to go to Cornwall?’

‘Yes please’ you smiled sweetly but he still looked bewildered buy your choice. ‘I know it’s a little unconventional but I spent a lot of summers there growing up and it’s a special place to me. I just thought it might be nice to share that part of my life with you but if you’re happy spending thousands on a private jet to the middle of nowhere then that’s fine too’

His face immediately softened when you told him, knowing he loved it when you opened up about yourself. Even after all this time there was still so much you were learning about each other and with a quick kiss to your nose he pulled out his phone.

‘If my baby wants to go to Cornwall then that’s where we’re going. But you best believe I’m finding the best house there’ he told you, causing you to laugh as he scrolled through his phone intently.

You let him know the general area you’d be happy to go but you let him take it from there. He was insistent on it being a surprise so you let him take control of it, happy to go along white whatever he wanted as you trusted his judgement.

Considering you’d been official for over two years, the pair of you hadn’t really been away for more than a night or so just the two of you yet. Mason loved being around his family and friends every chance he got and since you spent most days just the pair of you, you were always happy to branch out with everyone else and just because you were with other people didn’t mean skipped out on alone time as Mason always made the effort to plan things for just you two.

Mason seemed insistent on it being your first solo trip this time, along with Parker and he made sure he asked you lots of questions about what you did on your holidays when you were young. Whilst you were excited about it, you were growing suspicious about everything. He told you it was just because it was well overdue that you had some time together but when his family came to see you a few days before you were due to go, you were left even more confused but their incessant teasing.

‘You sure you’ve packed everything, Mase?’ Jaz smiled cheekily but you saw him blush as he rolled his eyes. ‘Don’t want to forget anything do we’

‘No make sure you’ve double checked it all’ Debbie chimed in but the playful tone to her voice unnerved you.

‘Yeah yeah, just drop it’ he told them quietly. You could tell he was playing but he sounded a little stressy for some reason. So you didn’t bring it up again even though you wanted to be in on the joke with them.

Mason had arranged for you to take the train like you did growing up, telling you he didn’t fancy the long drive down however you’d never been in first class before and you couldn’t deny you felt a little smug as you took your seats. He let you have the window seat but used this to his advantage so he could lean on you to look outside, laughing at his excited face when he caught sight of the sea. Parker was also very well behaved as he mostly just slept in between your legs.

The car he’d hired for the few days you were here felt like it would be too big for the tiny Cornish streets but as he drove you realised you wouldn’t be staying in a town like you normally would.

You were driving down a tiny dirt track for about five minutes with no end in sight but just as you were about to make a joke about this being another long winded way of kidnapping you he mad a turn to the right and you were now in front of one of the most beautiful houses you’d ever seen. The grand sandstone building had huge windows and a beautiful view of the sea and you felt bewildered by the sight of it.

‘Mason this is…’

‘Not bad huh?’ He winked, jumping out of the car so he could run around to your side and help you out. You arms went around his neck immediately, pulling him in for a quick kiss and his sparkly eyes melted you as you pulled away.

‘Not bad? I didn’t know there were places like this here’

‘Neither did I’ he laughed, letting Parker out before grabbing your hands so he could lead you to the door and locate the key. ‘How about we have a little look round, I’ll get the bags in and then we go grab some food?’ He suggested and you agreed as he lead you through the front door.

If you thought the outside was beautiful then the inside needed and new word invented for it. A beautiful living room with a huge glass window that took up the whole wall meaning you could look out to sea and a generous kitchen with everything you could ever need. You were looking around in awe but everything kicked up a notch when he took you outside and your eyes fell on the cute sofas and fire pit just like you had in Arnham but the addition of a hot tub made you squeal in delight.

‘Mason this is amazing, thank you’ you laughed, throwing your arms around him as you squeezed each other tightly.

After one more quick look around you hauled your bags inside, unpacking your clothes before getting back into the car so you could pop to the big Tesco for food. Thankfully you managed to remain anonymous and make it there and back without any issues so once you’d unpacked the food you let him know you were going to take a quick shower and freshen up.

When you came back downstairs you found Mason sat at the window seat, back resting against the wall at he looked out to sea. He seemed completely in his own world and you almost felt bad going over to disturb him but the loving look on his face as he caught your eyes made it worthwhile. His hands reaching forward to silently ask you to sit with him so you crawled in between his legs as laid your body against his. Both of your arms around each other as he gently left little kisses along your hairline.

‘What you doing here?’ You asked softly, feeling him chuckle under you but when you looked up at him he didn’t want to meet your eyes.

‘Just watching the boats’ he told you, your eyes following his line of vision to see the cargo ships in the distance slowly making their way across the horizon before looking back up at him.

Even from this angle he was the most beautiful man you’d ever seen and you couldn’t help but reach up to place an gentle kiss on his lips. He kissed you back immediately, moving to cup your jaw so he could hold you in place but you both didn’t take anything further. Both content with lazily brushing your lips together as you held each other for comfort.

These quiet moments together were your favourite, just being with him settled your mind more than anything else and the fact you knew you could both hide out for a little while made you even happier.

When he eventually pulled away, he kept looking at you, his eyes warm and soft as they flickered over your face and you felt a small shiver run through you just from his loving look.

‘I’ve been thinking about tonight’ he told you quietly, thumb stroking your cheek as you nodded up to him. ‘How about I make us some dinner and then we take a drive into town? We can take a walk and get some ice cream maybe and I’m pretty sure there’s an arcade on the pier and I don’t know about you but I’m feeling like a winner’

‘Sounds perfect’ you laughed, pecking his lips one more time before settling back into his body. You could feel him pulling you further into him as he nuzzled into your hair before looking back out to sea.

You made dinner together just like you used to, before getting changed to go out, deciding to leave parker at the house as he was tired from all the traveling and had spent most of his afternoon laid up in his new doggy bed. It was still sunny but the temperature had dropped so you made sure to wrap up before he drove you into the town so you could have a look around.

‘What ice cream do you want baby?’ He asked, pulling you into the quiet shop, watching his face light up as his eyes scanned all the flavours.

‘You pick first, I’m still looking’ you told him, noticing how he picked the most expensive cone with extra chocolate around the side and a flake and once the girl behind the counter handed it over to him it was almost the size of his head. ‘Really, Mase?’ You laughed as he smiled at you cheekily.

‘What? I’m never allowed this normally, thought I’d go all out’

‘Go and sit down’ you laughed, pointing to the stool by the window so he would be out of the way for you to pick yours. You decided to go for the same fancy cone as him but you only got one scoop as you were still full up from dinner and once you’d paid you met him by the door.

‘Hold this and I’ll pay’ he told you, trying to pass his half demolished ice cream to you but you shook your head before trying to lace your fingers through his to lead him outside.

‘I’ve paid, let’s go’

‘Why did you do that?’

‘Cause you paid for this whole thing, I think it’s only fair i buy you an ice cream at least’

‘Well if I’d of known you were paying I would of got a smaller one’ he laughed, squeezing your hand as you made you way down the high street and down to the beach. There were still a few people around but for the most part it was quiet meaning you could take a slow walk along the beach without being disturbed.

‘It’s pretty here’

‘See I have good taste’ you winked. ‘Are you glad you listened to me?’

‘I always listen to you’ he laughed, pulling you in front of him so he could hold you as you walked before stopping to look out onto the horizon so you could watch the sun slip behind the sea.

You felt a peace for the first time in a little while, his cheek resting on top of your head and arms around your waist making you feel warm and safe and judging by the way you could feel him relaxing into you, you could tell Mason felt the same.

Not too long after he turned you both so you could face each other, brushing some loose hair behind your ears before cupping your jaw so he could place feather light kisses over your nose and across your cheeks.

‘I love you so much’ he whispered,

‘I love you too’ you told him. Breath caught in your throat at how romantic this all seemed and the way he was looking down at you made your heart race in your chest.

He looked like he was going to say something else but he just gave his head a small shake before kissing your forehead.

‘You still fancy going on the pier?’

‘Yeah, okay. I quite like the idea of beating you at something’ you smiled, pulling him along as he laughed behind you. He teased you the whole way along the pier about how he was gonna make you eat your words and as soon as you walked in he was straight over to the basketball hoop.

‘But I’m no good at this’ you laughed ‘I like the ones where you put the 2p’s in until they all fall out’ you explained with a huff but he wasn’t having it, handing you a ball and setting your hoop up so you could play against each other. You were even worse than you thought you’d be and the excited shrills coming from Mason were really putting you off.

‘New high score baby’ he teased, pinching your side and you were starting to realise you were in for a long evening.

You knew Mason was competitive but the fact that it extended to meaningless games like this made you giggle until you we’re starting to get annoyed about all the games he was winning.

‘Fancy a game of air hockey?’ He asked, walking over to the now free table and even though you didn’t feel like being humiliated again you followed him over and took up your position. You’d never played before but it seemed simple enough and as soon as the puck was flying in your direction you were quick to hit it back straight into Masons goal.

You both stood in shock, eyes wide as you looked at each other and whilst you wanted to laugh you could see his brows were furrowed a little.

‘Beginners luck’ he huffed, retrieving the puck and placing it back onto the table before getting back into position. You had a pretty good rhythm going for a few minutes until once again you blasted your puck into his goal. ‘What the fuck’ he moaned, louder than he intended and you cheekily shushed him as there were kids around.

‘Mason, language’

‘Yeah, whatever. Are you ready?’ He asked, chucking the puck down again and not even waiting for you but you were too quick and managed to hit the puck right back to him.

His face was a picture, concentration and anger all over his features but you were on a high. Happy you were finally good at something and you knew you shouldn’t of but you felt the need to rub it in a little.

‘Come on Mase, I thought you were good at attacking and defending? You’ve been shocking at both so far’

‘I don’t normally play with my arms, smart arse’ he growled, hitting the puck as hard as he could but it just ended up bouncing off both sides and into his own goal. ‘This is bullshit, you must be cheating’ he fumed, slamming the puck back down and for a second you thought about easing up on him a little bit but he’d rubbed your face in it all night and you figured he could use a taste of his own medicine. You ended up winning 5-0 in the end and he was more furious than you’d ever seen him.

‘Oh come on Mase, you lost one game it’s not the end of the world’ you tried reassure him, walking round to place your hand on his arm but he shrugged you off, mumbling something under his breath as he walked the other way. ‘Mase?’ you pouted, following him outside but he didn’t stop for you.

‘Surprised you can hear me over that massive ego’ he murmured, making his way over to the railing so he could look out to sea and even though you knew he was just being silly and a little but hurt you couldn’t deny his words stung a little bit. You didn’t think you’d been overly obnoxious, not half as bad as he’d been but by the way he was reacting to you, you wondered if you’d gone too far.

‘Mase? Please don’t tell me you’re this upset about a game of air hockey’ you asked, brushing up besides him as he let out a deep breath he’d been holding.

‘I don’t like loosing’

‘I know but it doesn’t mean anything’ you reasoned, bumping your shoulder into his before forcing you way into his arms so you could hold his face in between yours hands. He was still pouting a little bit so you tried to kiss it away, feeling a sense of accomplishment come over you as he smiled gently. ‘Why don’t we have another game?’

‘Nah, let just play something else’ he told you, shaking his head and looking around to see what different things they had outside before his eyes fell on a game where you had to throw balls at some clowns to knock them down and you stood and cheered him on as he threw the balls as hard as he could.

‘What shall we do with all our tickets?’ You asked holding them all in your arms but you knew it wouldn’t be enough for anything worth having as you’d taken a look at the prizes and they were worth way more than you had. ‘Shall we give them away?’

‘Yeah, let me find someone’ he smiled, eyes scanning the arcade until he saw a little boy in an England shirt. You watched him carefully approach, tapping him on the shoulder and your heart melted as the little boy realised who it was. A look of shock and disbelief taking over his face as Mason knelt down to his level. ‘Hello mate, I’ve got a load of tickets but I don’t have time to change them up. Would you like them?’ He asked and the little boy nodded his head before throwing him self at Mason for a cuddle.

‘Thank you’ he murmured adorably, pulling back so Mason could hand the tickets over and you could tell the little boy was overwhelmed as his bottom lip started to tremble.

‘You alright, mate?’ Mason asked softly before the boy was hugging Mason again. You didn’t often get to see Mason interacting with fans like this but Every time it made your heart soar. He was so loving and soft and you just wanted to kiss him all over his perfect face.

It didn’t take long for the boys dad to come over, wondering why a random man was hugging his kid but as soon he clocked it was Mason they were all laughing. You offered to take a picture of the three of them as a parting gift and as you strolled towards the exit you felt him bump your arm and nod over to the air hockey table.

‘One more game? Winner takes all?’ He laughed, trying to make it look as though he was kidding but you could see the seriousness in his eyes so you walked him over and you yourselves set up.

He was really really trying to beat you, practically leaning halfway across the table as his tongue fell from his mouth in concentration. You were giving as good as you got though, knowing he wanted to win but you weren’t about to let him off easy and after a few intense minutes you smashed the puck directly into his goal.

‘Yesssss!’ You cried, jumping in the air to the side of the table so you could impersonate one of his goal celebrations by pretending to throw a fire ball at him but he just stood looking at you with a stoney expression whilst he bit the inside of his cheek. ‘Oh come on Mase, join in’

‘No’

‘So you’ll do it with Chilly but not with me?’

‘Get back over there or I’ll start without you’ he grumbled as you circled him, laughing your head off at how you kept winning but you were soon back in your place and ready to go again. He slammed the puck down once more and you could see the determination in his eyes but you weren’t quite ready for the force he hit the puck with or the pain that seared through your hand when it hit you at an awkward angle.

You jumped back, yelping in pain as you cradled your aching hand before looking towards Mason. He was staring back at you with wide eyes and a guilty expression.

‘Shit, y/n. I’m so fucking sorry, are you okay?’ He panicked, rushing over to take a look but you held your hand to your chest. ‘Baby? Please I’m so sorry you know I didn’t do it on purpose. Please let me see’

‘It’s fine’ you sighed, letting him take your hand so he could inspect it but there wasn’t much to see in the dark. That didn’t stop his from bringing your hand to his lips so he could pepper it with small kisses and even though you were a little mad with him you couldn’t help but smile.

‘I think I need to accept that air hockey isn’t my game’ he told you with a sigh before cupping your jaw so he could press a delicate kiss to your lips. ‘Im so sorry baby, I feel awful’ he whispered.

‘You should’ you laughed, pulling away so you could grab his hand and link your fingers together. ‘I think we should end the game there’

‘I think so too’ he said shyly, and upset frown on his face as he was clearly annoyed with himself for lashing out like he had but he let you pull him outside to the exit, walking passed the claw machines and you were almost at the end when he pulled you over to stand in front of one.

‘Look baby, they’ve got the little seagulls with chips in their mouths’ he told you excitedly, your mind automatically going back a few weeks to when you’d both gone to visit Portsmouth. Taking Summer and Mila for a walk on the beach in the afternoon and it was all going well until Mason was attacked by the same birds for his chips. The memory of him squealing and shouting in fear was still fresh in your mind and you couldn’t help but laugh at the thought of it. ‘Let me win you one to say sorry’

‘It’s fine, Mase’ you told him ‘no one ever wins these things’ you tried to explain but he just shook his head and grabbed a load of coins from his pocket.

‘Well I’m not stopping till I get one. I don’t care how much it costs’ he mumbled, already pressing the button to make the claw go down to grab one. It was halfway up before it fell out and you let him have a few more goes until he offered you a try. It was all in vein though, you not having any more luck than mason and all you seemed to be doing was flipping them over at this point so you told him you were done but he clearly wasn’t.

You’d been on the pier for a while now, your legs and body tired not just from tonight but from the whole day so you went and took a seat on a bench near by, facing away from Mason and out to sea. You couldn’t exactly see it cause it was so dark but you could hear the waves and the sound made you feel at peace.

It was only a few minutes later when you felt someone brush up besides you and you knew it was Mason instantly. He stopped just in front of you with his hands behind his back before kneeling so you were at the same hight.

‘Y/n’ he smiled, trying to be serious but you could see the smile gently playing on his lips.

‘Mason’ you replied, leaning forward just a touch, fluorescent lights of the games dancing over his face and making him look even more beautiful to the point you wanted to close the gap and kiss him but you knew he had more to say.

‘Would you please accept this seagull as a token of my apology’ he told you seriously, revealing the toy from behind his back with a smile, causing you to laugh as you reached for it.

‘I accept your apology Mason’ you told him softly, reaching over to cup his jaw and leave a soft kiss on his lips. He hummed appreciatively into your mouth instantly, kissing you back a little bit harder but you pulled back after a few moments. Remembering where you were and who you were with. ‘Shall we head back?’

‘Sounds perfect’

The next day Mason had reserved for a beach day and lucky enough for the pair of you the weather seemed to be playing along. You woke up to bright sunshine but an empty bed so after you’d pulled on one of Masons shirts you plodded downstairs to see if you could find him.

He was stood in the kitchen, packing what appeared to be a picnic basket in nothing but a pair of shorts and his face softened as soon as his eyes met yours.

‘Good morning sleeping beauty’ he mumbled, pressing a kiss to your forehead before another gentle one to your lips.

‘What time is it?’ You asked, wrapping your arms around him as he carried on packing the basket, feeling his body vibrate as he chuckled underneath you.

‘10:15’

‘That’s not that late’

‘It is, you’ve only got an hour and 45 minutes left of the morning. I’ve done loads while you’ve been asleep’

‘Oh yeah? Like what?’

‘Well I went for a run with Parker, came back and had a shower and went out again to a little bakery I saw in the village. Got us some lunch for the beach in there and a little bit of breakfast’ he smiled, nodding towards plate of pastries that were sat just to the right of him and you felt your tummy rumble immediately.

‘Thank you Masey’ you murmured softly before kissing his back and taking a step over to pick up your favourite.

‘You’re welcome. When you’re ready we’ll get everything together and head down yeah?’ He smiled, gesturing down to the sandy beach that you could see from your giant window in your living room and you nodded quickly before jumping up to run back upstairs and get changed.

The walk down to the beach didn’t take long but Mason seemed insistent on bringing half your luggage with him but by the time he’d set everything up you were happy he had. The little chair he’d carried down was comfier than you thought it would be and once you were ready to get settled you striped yourself down into your bikini you watched Masons jaw drop.

‘Holy mother of god’ he he said lowly, his eyes eating you up as he took in your figure. You didn’t think it was anything too exciting, a simple black bikini top and matching high waisted bottoms but you knew it looked good and the fact that the bottom was more of a thong than anything else was a bit risky but it was worth it to see the look in his eye. ‘If there wasn’t other people around I would be on you in a second you look unreal’

‘You like?’ You teased, giving him a quick twirl before sitting down, and the way he parted your legs so he could slip his body in between let you know he did. Even after all this time together he still looked at you like it was the first time and you hummed into his mouth as he pressed a heavy kiss on your lips.

‘I love. You’re such a tease I swear’ he whispered, his fingers dancing along the waistband of your bottoms before trailing them down the tops of your thighs. ‘You wait till later I’m gonna make you feel so good’ his breathed, his lips just touching yours and after a quick kiss he was jumping up so he could whip his top off.

If the way you felt about him in this moment was the same way he felt about you then you got why he was looking at you the way he was. You saw Masons body often but you never got tired of the sight. His soft hips were a contrast to the hardness of his abs but he was perfect to you in every single way and you had to restrain yourself from reaching for him so you could kiss all over his tummy.

You both quickly got to work sun creaming each other up, Mason paying extra attention to your bum, telling you the only burn you should ever feel there should be from his hand print but the sexy and assertive Mason was soon out the window as he popped on his mask and snorkel so he could go for a swim.

‘You look ridiculous’ you laughed, settling down into your chair as he pouted at you playfully.

‘Yeah well I’ll remember you said that when I see some cool fish and you wanna have a look’ he pouted, sounding like he had a cold as his nose was sucked into the mask and you sat watching him confused as he started rummaging through a bag he’d bought down with him. You couldn’t contain your laughter as he produced a pair of flippers and you wondered where the hell he’d been hiding them.

‘You can’t be serious’ you giggled, almost crying with laughter as he struggled to get them on but he was soon up, taking massive floppy steps towards the sea and flipping you off with a chuckle as you laughed to the point of tears.

‘Come on Parker, daddy will take you for a swim’

‘You make sure you look after him’ you shouted but you knew Parker was in safe hands with Mason.

Once he was at the shore and in deep enough, he flopped in, taking a few strokes out so he was a bit deeper before floating face down. It was fun watching him for a little bit, just floating as he looked around and tried to make sure Parker didn’t swim too far away but you could feel your eyes getting heavy and since he was occupied you adjusted your hat to make sure the sun wasn’t beating down on your face too hard before relaxing so you could take a little nap. You could just feel yourself drifting off when splashes of cold water woke you up with a fright.

There stood Mason, fresh from the sea and shaking his hair at you as Parker did the same, and you screeched as you flew up from the chair.

‘Mason what the fuck’ you moaned, rushing towards him but he somehow managed to grab you and manoeuvre you so you were flung over his shoulder, rushing down back towards the sea and you were sure the sounds of your laughter could be heard from miles away. ‘Please don’t throw me in’ you managed to get out as he started wading in but when the water came to just passed his knees he moved you so your legs were around his waist as he he held you by your bum. His eyes were sparking with joy and even though he seemed to have all the power over you and could literally drop you in the freezing water at any second, you couldn’t help but lean over and kiss him.

‘I wouldn’t do that to you baby, I’ve got you I promise’ he whispered against your lips softly and you smiled at how adorable he was being with you now.

The water wasn’t as cold as you thought it was going to be but it was still a shock. He walked in slowly though and before you knew it the water was up to your chest, legs still around him as he held you to his body as Parker watched you closely from the shore, not wanting to get wet again by the looks of things and you didn’t blame him.

‘Are you having a nice time?’ He asked quietly, kissing your nose gently before his lips moved to your cheeks and then across your jaw.

‘Yeah, I’m glad we can have some time just the two of us’ you smiled, relaxing at the feel of his lips. ‘Well three of us I suppose’ you laughed, your thumbs brushing along the imprint the mask had left on his cheeks before kissing along the marks and watching his cheeks flush. He was so adorable and you loved the way he still reacted to your touch but it was the reaction of having you wrapped around him that had you feeling something pressing against you that made you eye him curiously.

‘I’ve literally got your bare bum in my hands, what do you expect?’ he laughed cheekily causing you to hide your face in his neck as his chest rumbled underneath you.

You were both quiet for a moment, just holding each other as you relished in the peace. Watching the sparse clouds roll through the sky and the sound of the waves relaxed you more that anything and you knew then and there that there was no where else you’d rather be, or would ever want to be again, than in the arms of the man who you loved more than you ever thought you could.

You pulled away so you could look at him, a soft look in his warm eyes and your heart thudded at the way he was staring at you. You could feel the love pouring from him and it only took you a second to lean forward so you could press you lips to his.

It was a slow lazy kiss, one that warmed your belly and made your skin tingle more than the sun ever could but you were both smiling too much to get any further into it. In the end just resting your foreheads against each others so he could rub his nose against yours every so often.

Mason carefully walked you out of the sea and placed you on the sand at the shore right by Parker so you could walk back to your stuff hand in hand but rather than sit in your chair you laid down with him as Parker got comfy by your legs. Mason on his front with his head on your shoulder and arm slung over your waist as you ran your fingers through his hair softly until you feel his breathing change and you knew he was asleep.

He wasn’t out for long, waking up to complain he was hungry so he dished out all the food he’d bought that morning and you sat in between his legs with your back to his chest so you could still be close.

It was early evening when you headed back up to the house. Mason had let you use his mask and snorkel but you passed up the opportunity of wearing his flippers and the only thing you could see was seaweed as he helped you move around. You didn’t get the appeal though so you went back to sit so you could read your book and he could take another nap before taking Parker on a big walk. Your plan for the evening was to cook again before taking some drinks and snacks out to the fire pit in the garden and make use of the hot tub but you felt sandy and gross as soon as you stepped inside and Mason could tell instantly.

‘You fancy a bath? That one’s massive upstairs and I really wanna try it’ he smiled, kissing your nose aster you nodded. ‘I’ll go run it for us yeah?’

‘Okay, I’ll just pop this stuff in the fridge and I’ll be up’ you smiled and with one final kiss he vanished.

The sea air must of got to Parker and you watched him trot right over to his bed before getting settled and you dished him out some food and water before scratching behind his ears in the way he loved. He was out soon after and with a quick kiss to his head you made your way to Mason.

You didn’t think you’d been that long but by the time you made it to the bathroom he was already in the bath, head back against the edge as he laid there peacefully and no matter how quiet you’d wanted to be, he felt you move besides him and his eyes were on yours.

‘Come on slow coach, I’ve got it the perfect temperature’ he laughed, watching you undress with hungry eyes before helping you in to sit in front of him. Your back to his chest as you leant your head on his shoulder and he wrapped his arms around your middle.

‘This bath is massive’ you laughed, the water just below your neck. ‘It’s like double the size of ours’

‘Is this you telling me you want one like this at home’

‘I wouldn’t say no’

‘I mean if it means we get to take more baths together then I’m all for it’ he told you cheekily, his hands trailing down your body so he could grip your thighs with his fingers, massaging the inner parts of them.

You let out a soft sigh, relaxing back into him even further as you enjoyed the way his fingers were dancing over your skin but you knew this was only ending one way. Your suspicions were confirmed when his hand hooked under your right thigh so he could lift your leg and place it over the edge of the bath so he could access you better. His left hand reaching for your chest and you bit your lip at the contact.

‘Just relax for me, baby. Let me take care of you’ he whispered into your ear and all you could do was nod whilst you tried to do what he said.

You gasped when you finally felt his fingers trace along your folds. You knew he was being extra gentle with you which you loved and given with how relaxed you were, you were ready to let him do what he wanted so when he finally brushed over where you needed him most you couldn’t help but moan loudly.

‘That’s it’s baby. You sound so pretty like that’ he murmured, gently rubbing you in slow circles as he palmed your boob with his free hand. ‘That feel good?’

‘Mmhmm’ you managed to get out, cursing under your breath straight after as he way playing with you just how you liked it and even though he’d only just started you could feel the start of your high bubbling away.

‘Look at me’ he whispered and you managed to turn your head slightly to look into his eyes. ‘Such a good girl for me, aren’t you?’ He asked, lowering his fingers down to your entrance and you gasped as he teased a finger in.

‘Mase’ you whimpered, holding onto the edge of the bath for some stability as he added another. Slowly pumping them in and out of you as you clenched around him and you could of sworn you were seeing stars. He knew you like the back of his hand, knew exactly where to touch you and how to drive you wild and if he really wanted to he could make you reach your high in no time at all but you knew he was dragging everything out as he delicately pulsed his fingers inside of you.

‘You’re so beautiful baby’ He spoke against your neck before gently sucking on the skin at the base of it. You were so turned on by his words and his fingers working away inside of you that you couldn’t help but grind down onto him a little bit but the hand on your chest soon moved down to your hip so he could hold you in place. ‘Nuh uh. This is about you’

‘But Mase-‘

‘I know, but you need to cum first yeah?’ He told you softly, his thumb now back on your clit to help you and the moan that left your lips would of embarrassed you if you hadn’t been too caught up on how he was making you feel. ‘I can feel how close you are, gorgeous. Come on, let it out for me’

Mason knew his words got you off just as much as his actions did so all so his encouragements were just getting you to the edge faster and soon enough you felt the coil snap. Profanities falling from your lips and he rode you through it and the gentle coaxing from him made it even better until you were spent and he slowly removed his fingers from you.

‘Shall we get in the shower? Wash everything off?’ You suggested, a cheeky glimmer in your eyes that he caught onto immediately and after a quick kiss he was helping you out so he could pull you into the shower.

You grabbed his shower gel quickly, soaping your hands up so you could rub it over him under the guise that you were simply helping him wash but it was really an excuse so that you could touch him. Working your way around to his back so you could lean your chest against him and as soon as he placed his hands on the wall in front of him to help him balance, you let your hands trail down to his length so you could start to stroke over him.

That first moan felt like heaven, made your knees weak and your head fuzzy but you knew what you had to do.

You wanted to hear him. Hear the way you were driving him crazy. You wanted to feel his body tense as you pulled his high from him. You wanted to see that pretty pink pout on his lips as he finally came undone, confident in the knowledge that it was you that had caused it. You had made him feel that good.

‘Y/n, p-please’ he breathed, clearly wanting you to speed your movements up a little bit but you were going slow on purpose.

You ignored his pleas, kissing over his back as your other hand softly roamed his abs and you revelled in the way they fluttered under your touch. Letting the warm water trickle over your bodies and wash the soap away as you slowly pleasured him. The moans pouring from his throat were sinful and the rush of adrenaline you seemed to be getting from this made you feel better than you thought it would.

You didn’t want him to cum like this though, wanted to see him. Feel him. Taste him.

Not wanting to waste any time as you knew he was on the edge, you let go and spun him around. Pressing his back up against the tiles and dropping a quick kiss to his lips before you started kissing down his body, paying extra attention to your favourite mole before getting on your knees and down to business. You could tell he was aching for some relief so you didn’t mess around or try and tease him, taking him in your mouth straight away and from the way he let out a shuddery breath you knew he was ready for you.

You were determined to make him feel the best he ever had so you let your fingers trail over his thighs before you grabbed his wrists so you could move them into your hair. He caught on straight away, pulling it up and away out of your face gently as you flashed your eyes up to look at him. He was looking straight back, eyes dark and lips parted as he let out shallow breaths and the look of pleasure on his face gave you a push to keep going.

‘Fuck, y/n. You look so fucking good baby’ he whimpered, letting you take control and do what you wanted to him.

You knew what he liked though, able to reduce him to a grunting mess in no time and without warning you felt him try to still your movements like usual when he was just about to let go but you fought him, continuing to bob up and down on him as you swallowed him down until he couldn’t take it anymore and pulled you off with a pop.

He didn’t say a word, simply hoisted you up and pulled you into his arms so he could hold you. The pair of content in each other's arms as the warm water washed away your sins. Only pulling back to give each other a soft kiss as you laughed at each other shyly.

‘Shall we get out? We’ll start looking like raisins soon’ he joked but you let him pull you out and wrap you in a towel before leading you back into your room and popping you down on the end of the bed whilst he found the pair of you some clothes to change into.

‘You okay there my love?’ He asked, drooping a kiss on your forehead as you let out a yawn when he placed one of his shirts and your shorts in your lap.

‘Just a little sleepy that’s all’ you smiled up at him, your head resting in his hand that he was using to support the side of your head and you smiled at each other softly.

‘Why don’t you have a nap then? I’ll go make dinner and check on Parker. I’ll come and get you when it’s done’

‘No Mase it’s fine’

‘Well I’m ordering you to take a nap missy’ he smiled, lightly pulling you up so he could help you get changed and once you were he pushed you down onto the bed before dropping a kiss on your cheek. ‘I’ll come wake you up soon okay?’

‘Okay’ you chuckled, snuggling down to hopefully get some rest. It had been a long day and even though you hadn’t done much you still felt exhausted. Hoping a quick Power Nap would set you up for the rest of the evening.

You were woken up by a strange tussling sound, your eyes opening ever so slightly so you could find the source of the noise and your eyes were on Mason immediately. His back was facing you as he played around with whatever was In his hands and you almost shut your eyes again until you saw what he was holding when he turned slightly.

A little black box.

A little black ring box.

It was open and you couldn’t see what was in it but you had a good guess from the soft smile on his face as he looked down into it. Suddenly the teasing from his family made sense as to why he had to double check that he’d packed everything and your whole body froze as you realised what this trip was for and Why he was so insistent on you picking somewhere that was special to you.

He wanted to make it even more special.

The snap of the box as he shut it made you jump but you shut your eyes immediately to make it look like you were asleep and only when Mason came over to try and wake you up did you look at him. Trying you hardest to pretend like you hadn’t seen what you just had.

‘Come on, miss sleeps a lot. If you don’t wake up now you won’t sleep tonight’ he told you softly, his lips pressing soft kisses all over your face until you opened your eyes to look at him. ‘There she is. Dinner won’t be long so I thought I’d get you up’ he murmured, placing one final kiss to your forehead before getting up to chase Parker out the door.

You were trying to act as natural as possible so he didn’t find out you knew his secret but he seemed to be acting just as oblivious as you were to the point you’d forgotten about it until the next night when you’d finally gone for dinner out somewhere nice.

The restaurant was small and quiet but it felt cosy and intimate as you sat and spoke about all your favourite parts of your little trip together. Laughing as you recalled the way he got so grumpy when he lost air hockey and the ridiculous way he’d looked in his flippers.

‘Thank you for a lovely weekend, Mase. I’ve had the best time’ you smiled and he smiled back just as warmly. A nervous look on his face slowly taking over his features before he gulped.

‘I have to’ he said quietly before stuffing his hand into his pocket. ‘There’s something I want to give you’ he whispered, placing his hand on the table before pushing a small black box in your direction.

It was the same one you’d seen him look at earlier when he thought you’d been asleep and your breath caught in your throat as your eyes met his.

‘Mase, what’s this?’

‘Open it and find out’ he whispered, nodding down to the box but you didn’t think you had the strength to do it. He was staring you down though so with shaking hands you lifted the box and opened it.

A small pair of studs sat in inside, little red hearts carved from some sort of gem whilst tiny little diamonds sat on the bottom of them. They were beautiful and you gasped as your eyes flew up to meet Mason's excited ones.

‘They’re garnets, my birthstone’ he told you softly, a shiver rolling through you at how thoughtful he’d been however these were the last things you expected to be in there. ‘Do you like them?’

‘I love them’ you smiled, trying to act as natural as possible and ignore the sinking feeling in your tummy. You felt a little silly for assuming it would be something else now but you didn’t want him to catch on to what you were thinking. Forgetting he could read you like a book and always had been able to.

‘You sure? You can be honest with me, I can take them back’

‘No, don’t be silly’ you laughed, placing the box on the table before standing up so you could plant a quick kiss on his lips. ‘Thank you, Mase. They’re beautiful’

‘You’re welcome’ he replied shyly, reaching for your hand as you sat down so he could link your fingers together.

‘I feel bad, I don’t have anything for you’

‘Oh shush’ he laughed, squeezing your hand as he gazed at you lovingly. ‘You being here is more than enough for me’ he told you honestly and you felt your heart thud at the shy look on his face. ‘I’m serious. I know it’s not long but I love getting to do stuff like this when we can’

‘Me too’ you whispered, pulling his hand up so you could kiss his knuckles and your heart soared at the deep blush that took over his cheeks.

After dinner you decided to head back to the house. Another night by the fire pit calling your name so you quickly got changed before grabbing Parker and the marshmallows so you could get seated and ready for Mason to join you on your last evening in your own little slice of paradise.

‘You gonna tell me what’s wrong now?’ He asked, falling into the seat next to you before taking your hands into his. ‘And don’t say it’s nothing cause I know there’s something’

‘Mase-‘

‘Is it the earrings? It’s really not that big of a deal if you don’t like them-‘

‘No Mase’ you laughed ‘look, see? I’ve got them in’ you smiled, showing him your ears and your heart warmed at the soft smile on his face.

‘Well what is it then? You seem… disappointed’ he noted and you hadn’t realised you’d been so transparent. Then again this was Mason, he could read you like an open book and you contemplated brushing it off but in the end you realised you should probably be honest with him.

‘I’m gonna sound insane when I tell you’

‘No you won’t’ he smiled reassuringly and you took one last big beep breath before explaining.

‘The box these came in, it looks very similar to a box another piece of jewellery comes in. At first I thought it was going to be something else’

He was looking at you like he had no idea what you were talking about until you suddenly saw it click in his brain. His lips forming an ‘o’ but you couldn’t look at him for much longer and you felt your cheeks start to burn.

‘I didn’t even think’

‘It’s not your fault’ you laughed

‘So you’re disappointed it wasn’t what you thought it was’

‘I guess so’ you laughed, feeling him tickle your sides lightly to try and cheer you up before looking at you a bit more seriously.

‘Is that something you’d want? You know, to get married?’ He asked tentatively but your warm smile made him visibly relax.

‘If it’s not you Mase, then it’s not gonna be anyone’ you told him truthfully, your heart thudding at how his face softened at your words. ‘I told you once I’d made peace with that fact I’d probably always be alone but that’s not what I want anymore’

‘I don’t want that for you either’ he laughed.

‘I feel like we know what we want our future to look like and marriage would just be the next step you know?’

‘Yeah, you’re right’ he smiled, wider than you’d ever seen him smile before and it made you want to carry on talking so he would keep smiling.

‘I want to spend my life with you, Mase. And I don’t mind what that looks like. At some point I’d like to get married but I don’t mind if that’s now or ten years down the line. We’ve already spoken about mini mounts and if it happens but I just wanna carry on like we are you know? Just doing life together. You me and Parker’

The way he was looking at you was making your head spin, you were hoping you hadn’t said anything too much or gone too far but the soft kiss he left on your lips melted you and you felt okay again.

‘We’ve come a long way huh? Never thought I’d hear you talk about having my kids when we first were getting to know each other’ he joked

‘Well is that what you want?’

‘It’s what I’ve always wanted’ he whispered, kissing your cheek softly. ‘Remember that first night I stayed at yours? I came round and we made cookies?’

‘I remember’ you smiled, images of you and him being cheeky in the kitchen rolling through your mind and you felt warm at the memory.

‘When I saw you’d put a picture of us on your fridge I told myself I was gonna marry you one day. I know it seems like a lifetime ago but you’ve had me since I first saw you. You know you’ve completely ruined me for anyone else don’t you?’ he smiled brightly before getting serious again. ‘Then when I nearly lost you after my injury, that first night you were home I didn’t sleep. Just held you and told myself I’d never let you slip through my fingers again’

‘You haven’t’ you laughed, fingers dancing over the back of his hand before threading your fingers together.

‘Everything you’ve just said is all I’ve ever dreamed of’ he told you softly, his glossy eyes looking over into yours before you kissed him softly. ‘We’re soulmates, me and you. I’ve known it for the longest time and I just love you with everything I have’

‘Love you, too’ you whispered back, fingers still stroking over his skin as his eyes flickered over your face. His sweet words replaying in your ears and you knew he was right. He was your soulmate, and you’d both been out on this earth to find each other. There was a strange look in his eye but you couldn’t quite pinpoint what it was and in the next second he was trying to move you out of his lap.

‘Wait here a sec, yeah? I’ll be one minute’ he told you, untangling himself from you before dashing inside. You weren’t sure where what was happening but he was quicker than you thought he’d be, the same excited smile on his face and he made you laugh as he came towards you with grabby hands. ‘Stand up for me’

‘Why?’ You laughed, eyeing him curiously but he wasn’t backing down so you took his outstretched hands, letting him pull you up before walking you to the other side of the fire where he pulled you into a big hug. ‘Did you just pull me up for a hug’ you laughed after a few seconds but when he pulled back you realised it was a hug of reassurance more than anything else, your eyes darting to Parker who was now watching you both with with his head slightly tilted to the side as if he was just as unsure of what was going on as you were.

‘I need you to just listen to me, yeah?’ He chuckled, pulling back so he could hold your hands and look deep into your eyes. ‘I was waiting for the perfect moment but being with you, every moment is perfect’ he told you softly, letting go of one on your hands so he could reach into his back pocket before taking a step back and kneeling down on one knee in front of you.

It’s like you’d gone into autopilot, not really believing what you were seeing as his big brown eyes looked up at you full of hope.

‘I love you, y/n y/l/n. So so much. I don’t wanna wait ten years when I’ve known for a very long time that you’re the one for me. I tell myself all the time the best decision I ever made was going for a walk at 1am cause it led me to you and I’d do it again a million times over. In this life and the next and all the other ones that come after it cause you’re it for me and I’m so lucky to have found you. Cause I feel like you were put there just for me to find. This, what we have, I want that every day for as long as I possibly can’ he told you finally bringing his arm forward to reveal another black box, but he opened it for you this time, the ring you were expecting at dinner now sat proudly inside and you felt a shiver run through you at the sight of it. ‘Will you marry me?’

You couldn’t speak, collapsing to your knees in front of him so you could wrap your arms around his neck and you felt him chuckle as he pulled you into his body. You were sobbing your little heart out, unable to control your emotions but you wanted to look at him again, pulling back so you could hold his face in between your hands and the tear marks down his cheeks only made you sob harder.

‘Are you s-sure?’ You laughed, watching him roll his eyes before pressing a soft kiss to your forehead.

‘Of course I’m sure, you big melon’ he laughed, squeezing your sides. ‘Come on, don’t leave me hanging. Is it a yes?’

‘It’s a yes’ you whispered, nodding your head furiously before pulling him towards you for a loving kiss. You could feel his relief pouring into you as you held onto each other like you might disappear. Only pulling back so you could rest your foreheads against each other to try and settle each other.

‘Can I put the ring on you now?’ He laughed after a moment of silence and you joined in with him, completely forgetting about the ring as you’d only spent half a second looking at it. You pulled away to look at each other but you couldn’t speak so you just nodded, watching in awe as he opened the box again to reveal the ring of your dreams.

You gasped lightly as he took it out, popping the box on the floor before taking your left hand with his seemingly shaky ones so he could slide the ring onto your ring finger and you were pleased to find it was the perfect size.

‘Do you like it? I can get it changed if you want-‘

You cut him off with a kiss, letting him know you loved it with your lips before pulling back to look into his warm eyes.

‘You could have proposed with a ready salted hula hoop and I still would have said yes’ you whispered, causing him to chuckle before pressing a light kiss to the tip of your nose.

‘I wish you would have told me that earlier. Would of saved me a lot of money’ he joked and you rolled your eyes before letting him help you up to stand. ‘Oh and before you ask, I got permission’

‘You spoke to my dad?’

‘No, Freya’ he winked, pulling you into a hug as you both laughed before he sat back to give you some air. ‘Parker look. Mummy and daddy are getting married’ Mason laughed, tapping his thighs so Parker would come over and join you and you laughed at his slow steps. Seemily unphased at how excited you were but you appreciated the face licks just the same.

You’d said it to each other tonight already, but you really couldn’t believe how far you and Mason had come. From not wanting to see him and ignoring his texts to sitting here with him now. The love of your life declaring he also wants to spend his life with you and you felt like the luckiest girl in the world. Everything the pair of you had been through, the good and the bad, had led you to here and you were so thankful to have finally found your home. The place and the person you belonged to.

After copious amounts of cuddling on the floor, Mason eventually moved you back to sit where you had been and you were holding onto him to dear life. Nothing felt real and you didn’t want to wake up from the dream you seemed to be in so you just held each other as you tried to contain your joy.

‘I can’t believe it’ you laughed, taking another glance at your ring before looking up into Mason's soft eyes.

‘The future Mrs Mount huh? Who would've ever thought’ ’

‘Not me’ you laughed, letting him wipe the last few tears from your face before placing a delicate kiss on your forehead. ‘I love you so much’

‘I love you too, my little mountaineer’

masonmount

liked by y/n, declanrice, freyaaaaxo and others

masonmount Left with a girlfriend, came home with a fiancée 🤍

view all comments

Y/n loml 🥺🩷 I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you

masonmount how’s the view from up here baby? 😉

Y/n beautiful 😘

Freyaaaaxo damn son that’s a fat rock 🤭 also I’m not crying you’re crying. CONGRATS MUM AND DAD 🥰

masonmount wouldn’t be here without you 🩷

declanrice my boys all grown up 🥺 love you bro

masonmount family ❤️

woody_ mate you’re punching

Y/n 😌

masonmount I’ll punch you in a minute

Freyaaaaxo Someone’s sleeping on the sofa tonight and it’s not Mason

sophiaaemelia watching the pair of you grow together has been so special. Congratulations my loves 🤍

Y/n miss you soph 🩷

benchilwell got my best man speech ready to go 😉

declanrice get in line

woody_ a trio of best men

lew.mount welcome to the family officially y/n! Proud of the pair you ❤️

masonmount love you brother ❤️

kaihavertz congratulations man 🤍 miss you guys

masonmount we miss you too

Tagged: @chaotic-taco-collector-blog @mm-vii @footiehoemcfc @masonmount07 @aundercover

[outofsstyles]

KILLER QUEEN (80s!AU)

 A/N: Heyaa!! So here’s what happens when I watch Sing Street right after reading some of Olivia’s boyfriend!Harry prompts :) Also a huge thank you to Soph @canyon-moan​ for betaing this for me!! A gentle reminder that I was not, in fact, alive in the 80s so please take it easy in that aspect lol. If you like it *please reblog*, it helps a lot, also I’d love to hear your feedback!!!!

Word count: 25.3k (I have no self control!! Someone stop me!!)

Pairing: Musician!Harry + Bassist!Reader

Prompts: making it official + enemies but secretly lovers

Warnings: Our typical mentions of sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll (and a lot of denim!)

Concept: You and Harry are in rival bands and you shouldn’t really get along but you can’t help it.

                                 ❁         ❁        ❁ 

It didn’t come as a surprise to you that, from the moment you agreed to be part of the band, your agenda would become more frantic. That’s all you read on magazines or see on the television on those late nights MTV programs that love to talk about that rockstar life. The shows and the sleepless nights. The drugs and the sex between stages. It’s always what comes to the minds of anyone that thinks about following the music path.

Of course, you’re far from being The Bangles or Duran Duran, but even when it comes to playing for uninterested drunks on small crummy bars, you still found yourself barely able to catch a breather from it. 

And it also doesn’t help that on top of it all, you also try your best to balancing your studies as you go into your third year of uni. So, between being tucked behind your bass during rehearsals and going around begging for stuck up pub owners to give a spot, you still have to find time for the busy class schedule that also blends with your tutoring job on the side. Sometimes it feels like juggling those two contrasting lives is too much, and when you walk home each day too exhausted to even function, you ponder if you should just drop one of them.

You still manage to fall into a rather chaotic routine of dragging through weekdays to fall into reckless weekends. It’s not easy, but you make it work.

Today, however, seemed to be an odd one. From the moment you woke up with the sound of birds chirping and the faint conversation of your neighbors outside your window, you felt a sense of relaxation that has become a rarity to you. It’s a welcoming change from your usual rowdy roommates bantering at each other or the loud music blasting through the walls that serve as your alarm on regular days. The silence that engrosses your normally-chaotic home is calming as much as it is strange. 

The whole day went by in a lulling and lazy pace, and between your several attempts of keeping yourself occupied (that being going on a walk to the library or going through your mom’s old recipe book) you actually catch yourself realizing the quietness can be louder than your roommates.

It’s a weird concept to you. Missing them when you spend so much time together in the band, but you still can’t help it. So you just blast the radio and let Rio fill in the empty walls as you wait for one of them to come home.

By the time the night falls, wind thumping on the closed windows as the first thin drops of rain start to hit the glass, Lena is back from her shift with a low huff and a roll of her eyes, mumbling how she’s never covering weekend shifts ever again -- which you both know is not true, but neither mention it. And that’s how you find yourself at the end of your unruffled day, tucked at the end of your couch under a cozy blanket. Listening to one of MTV’s nightly programs - that Lena watches almost religiously after a day of work - as background noise. You focus on the open book settled on top of your lap, enjoying her company quietly as you flip through the pages.

It could be the perfect ending for a perfectly relaxing day, the sound of the rain almost lulling you to sleep as the words in front of you begin to shuffle, finding it harder to concentrate with your mind drifting off.

But before you can let your eyes fall close and your head snuggle back into the cushions, you’re startled awake by the burst of your front door opening. The sudden noise makes you and Lena jump, a yelp leaving your lips as you look back to the source of your fright. 

You barely have any time to feel panicked or even wrap your head around the possibilities of what could have caused the outburst as Abbey barges into the room.�� She all but jumps on each step, stumbling a bit as she makes her way around the couch to stand tall in front of you. Her red hair is full and damp, droplets of water running down her body, causing her clothes to stick to her skin.

“I got us a gig!” Her breath is short as if she just ran a long way.

“Christ, Abbey, don’t do that!” You relax back into the couch once you realize there’s no real threat invading your home, closing your eyes and letting out a breath. “Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”

She scoffs, “Did you listen to a word I just said?” You notice her eyes are blown out, “I got us a gig, as in a </i> real gig.”

“A real gig?” Lena inquires, standing up to walk towards the front door that was left agape, closing it with a thump.

Abbey’s grin grows, her words come out slow but clear. “Next Saturday in the Blue Bird.”

“That’s in a week.” You state.

Her shoulders drop, “Yeah, and?”

“Blue Bird?” Lena comes in the room again, stopping by the head of the couch and crossing her arms under her chest. “How did you even get that I thought the only band that played there was--”

“You’re right Lena, was as in not anymore because we are playing there, and there’s more.” She interrupts, her voice raising an octave. “The owner, Ronnie, said if we’re good enough he can arrange for us to play every other weekend.”

“You’re insane.” You shake your head slightly. “That’s like a place where people actually go for the music, what makes you think we can pull that off?”

Abbey points a finger at you, “You’re being a pessimist, and that’s not appreciated in here.” She waves her hands around, trying to assert her point. “We can and we will pull that off and take over the permanent spot on the weekends.”

“Is that what this is about?” Lena smirks, eyebrows raising at her friend. “It’s been a hot minute since you raged about that Harry boy.”

 “It’s not just about him, Adeline.” She barks, “It’s about us! We need to find our confidence again.”

 “Again?” You speak out, making her snap her eyes back at you.

“Yes, again.” She says, “We’re doing this and it’s gonna be wicked.”

You sigh, nodding in agreement as you exchange a knowing look with Lena.

In all fairness, the prospect of playing a gig at an actual music house is as exciting as it is scary. It’s not like you think you’re not able to pull it off, but the simple thought of having people actually paying attention to your presence on stage is enough to make you want to hide under your covers and never come out. But seeing Abbey so pumped about it, there’s no way in a million years you’d ever say no.

She was the one that wanted to start a band, after all. Before she dropped out, in what seems like ages ago, she was your roommate that would drag you around every time she had those spontaneous ideas, that is going out for pancakes at three in the morning, go on weekend trips to concerts two cities away, or, well, start a band herself.  

In the beginning, it was just the three of you, Abbey as the lead, you on the bass, and a girl you met on one of the said weekend trips, who had introduced herself as Lena, on the guitar. And not even a month later, you were all living together in a tiny house near the main street. 

At first, the biggest issue, to your surprises, was that you couldn’t find a drummer if your lives depended on it. Even after putting out posters around campus, you only got two calls from men whose only interest was the “all-girls band” part of it. Things got better when you met Jaz, a smiley girl from your Phonetics class. She wasn’t a drummer, but her boyfriend was, they both played for their High School band (which is how they met, a proper movie-worthy story if they’d ask you). And just like that, you got yourselves a drummer and a keyboardist.

For the next few months that followed you played on dirty bars and house parties, getting paid with tipsy pats on your backs, or, if you were lucky, maybe a pack of cheap drinks for you all to share. It’s the frustrating part of trying to get into the music path, you found, most serious places were not interested on a band with hardly any live experience and no original songs whatsoever. So you just had to take whatever opportunity came your way. Once, you even played on the birthday party of Lena’s manager’s daughter, which was probably the most disastrous experience of them all, considering a crowd of eight-year-olds and their posh moms weren’t exactly fond of listening to loud covers of Blondie. You got to play three full songs before one of them asked you to leave. 

The first time you actually got money was when Abbey dragged you and Lena to play on the sidewalk of the National Park, where people would come and go with their busy lives and full wallets. That was the best one, you easily got three hundred within a few hours of your open cases, which was split between the three of you at the end of the day.

Afterward, you wanted to play on the streets again, but Abbey wished more than just being a street performer, she yearned for the glow of the spotlights and a place on the stage. And it’s not like you lot didn’t think of it as well, how it would be like to have an actual gig. So, you just went back to the old routine of jumping from bar to bar.  Playing for people that couldn't care less about your presence on the small stage, focusing only on their cheap beers and drunk conversations. 

For a while it seemed like that was all there was to it, the music scene getting more congested by the minute, you thought there was no way you’d ever make it out there. There were moments you even thought about giving it up, if you were honest, setting your mind into getting your English degree that at least has the guarantee of a stable paycheck by the end of it. But as Abbey always says, there’s nothing you can’t do with a twist of your hair and a bat of your lashes. And somehow, she managed to be true to her word, presenting an opportunity to actually start taking this seriously.

And it would be a lie to say there isn’t an excitement growing at the pit of your stomach the more you think about it.

                                ❁         ❁        ❁ 

You’ve heard about the Blue Bird before.

Of course you have, it’s near to impossible not to. Being in a small town, predominantly surrounded by uni students, and that being the only music pub in the area, you’ve heard about it quite often. 

It’s become quite the hot spot for people interested in listening to good music while getting lost in the bottom of their beer glasses. With the only other competitor being a good forty-minute drive away, people go in crowds on the weekends as a getaway from their textbooks. You’re not sure why you’ve never been in it, though, only going as far as walking past it on your nightly walks during the week, listening to the faint sound of whatever band’s playing at the time. 

But if there’s one thing that’s always brought up when the subject is the Blue Bird is CHASM, more specifically Harry Styles. They have the permanent spot on the weekends and have become one of the main reason people - women, mainly - come in lots to have a spot inside the packed space. 

As much as his name comes up in a dreamy sigh and followed by a string of giggles when you hear it being mentioned by a classmate or overhear it somewhere in public, inside of your bubble he’s pretty much only mentioned in annoyed huffs or with a roll of eyes. If you’re honest, you know close to nothing about him, wouldn’t even be able to point him out on the street if you ever happen to cross paths. But you do know that Abbey is not fond of him in the slightest, so for that, you try to keep your distance from anything that has to do with Harry Styles.

You’re not sure how this hatred of her came to be and to be honest, you’ve never really been bothered enough to ask. Abbey doesn’t like a lot of people, her first impression of them it’s what she keeps in her heart with zero to no chance of changing it, so you just assume this Harry guy might’ve not given her a good one. It’s never really been something you really dwelled on, the circumstances in your life allowing you to ignore his existence unless he’s being spoken of. But it feels like a whole nother story now that you’ve essentially stolen his golden spot on the saturday night. 

The moment you walk into The Blue Bird is when you start to come to the realization that this is really happening. Not even a full step in, your eyes already dart to the big stage standing tall across from the entrance door, bigger than any other one you’ve ever been in -- being used to small platforms that barely have enough space to fit a drumset. it’s hard not to let your lips part in awe at the size of it all, the outside is rather modest compared to it, the only really striking detail being the LED sign with the name of the pub. There’s a large bar standing in the middle of the place, serving almost as a divisor of the two areas of the pub. The first area is the one you walk into as you first enter the place, with tables surrounding the space -- that now have their chairs propped on top of them, and you reckon this is where people sit around as they wait for the musical act of afterward when they can barely keep themselves up on their feet. The second area, however, it’s just empty of any barrier, except from the stools lined in front of the bar, meant mainly for people to crowd in front of the stage.

The walls are what catches your attention, though. The one where the front door stands is covered with magazines and newspaper cutouts of celebrities, scandalous headlines written in big bold letters, and random articles about their personal lives. On top of this big collage, there are band posters, you assume the ones that played in here, most of them stuck once to the wall, except for one that you can see multiple different colored papers with the same name written on it. 

You stop in front of one of them, one that’s just below your eyesight but catches your attention with the big blood-red letters that read CHASM on top of it, with a smaller font on the side saying  “live every weekend of ‘87” right below it. What you focus on, however, are the five faces staring back at you, their serious expressions looking almost haunting with the black and white filter. But it’s the one in the middle that your eyes immediately dart to. Unlike his bandmates, his lips are frozen with a slight smirk, small enough that wandering eyes could easily miss it, but still prominent enough that you can make out the shadow of a dimple on his cheek. His hair is settled in a wild nest, but not in a sloppy way, you decide, they’re a rockstar kind of messy. He’s handsome, there’s no doubt in that, just by looking at the small print of his face you can understand what the fuss is about, not that you’d ever admit that out loud. But it doesn’t keep your mind from wondering the color of his eyes and what it would be like to see them up close, as you look back at the taunting grin you think what could be the tone of his lips or--

“Lost something in there?” Lena’s voice makes you jump, turning swiftly to find her grinning at you. “You should come and start getting everything ready before Abbey finds you admiring our arch-nemesis.”

Your eyes widen, coughing in surprise as you try to regain composure after being caught. “I-- I wasn’t--”

She chuckles, turning to roam back to the stage before you can finish, throwing you one last look over her shoulder. “Sure thing, buttercup.”

You spare one last look to the poster before following her lead to the other side of the room where the rest of your friends are setting up the instruments on top of the stage. Once you locate your case tucked in the far left corner you quickly open it, finding your soft pink tinted bass resting inside of it. The Sesame Street sparkling stickers stuck to it glimmer from this angle (you got them in a favor bag from when you played at the birthday party), thanks to one of the spotlights shining directly at them. You pick the instrument up, adjusting the strap over your shoulder and giving the chords a few experimental strokes before looking up at the empty place.

There’s no denial of the anticipation that takes over every part of your body at the sight of the pub from the stage. A perfect mixture of excitement and anxiousness that lights up as you imagine how it will be like to see it filled up. It makes you gnawn at you bottom lip, jumping a bit on you feet as you move to connect your bass to the amplifier.

For a while, you just finish setting up the stage, tuning in the instruments, the sounds echoing on the empty space in a bit of a disarray, as you get used to the feeling of using proper sound equipment. You had the chance to meet the owner, Ronnie, for a brief minute as he strolled around the stage, observing you all before mumbling something about paying anything you broke and announcing he’d be in his office until opening hours. It wasn’t the warmest greeting you’ll admit, but you don’t really care, enjoying the opportunity nevertheless. 

Abbey arrives just a few minutes before the rehearsal is set to start, contemplating the view of everyone getting into a more of a harmonic arrangement before disappearing backstage for a moment without saying much of a word. When she comes back, she props herself in front of a big curved mirror cutting through one of the walls.

“Do you think you can do my makeup today, babe?” She calls back at you, gazing from over her shoulder with a slight pout on her ips.

“Sure.” You fiddle with the guitar pick between your fingers. “Do you want that rainbow look from last time?”

“Maybe something with less color this time.” She focuses back on her reflection, sighing loudly as fingers run through her locks. “I’m thinking of dying my hair black,” she tilts her head as if she’s envisioning her words. “I don’t know, just to try out something new.”

“That won’t make you look more like Joan Jett, you know.” A voice echoes in the empty space, bringing your attention to the entrance of the place.

And there he stands. The figure you had been staring at not long before, on the same poster stuck right behind where he is leaning, arms crossed and a smug look on his face. 

Harry stands there as if he just walked right out of the big screen, is the kind of beautiful you don’t see quite often outside a magazine cover. Not that it’s something that surprises you, considering you could tell from even a poorly printed image on a poster that the sharp curve of his jaw and the cut of his cheekbones could call anyone’s attention from afar. Even with what you find to be a rather plain outfit for someone like him, a simple white turtleneck tucked in his lightwash jeans, matched with a denim jacket, he still manages to stand out somehow. It’s almost compelling, really. And you can’t help but follow him with your eyes as he pushes himself off the wall, making his way towards the bar with an attitude as if he owns the place.

Abbey scoffs from her spot, arms crossing under her chest. “Unlike you, I don’t have to try to be someone else to get attention, Styles.”

He rests an elbow on top of the counter, chuckling as he points a finger at your friend. “You’re getting better at this, I’m proud.”

“What the fuck are you even doing here?” She barks, keeping a stern look pointed at him.

“Wanted to check out who stole our Saturday night spot, princess.” He spits back at her, words dancing around the room in a teasing manner. “When Ronnie said it was a bunch of newbies had to see it with my own eyes.” Unlike her, he doesn’t seem bitter at the situation in hand, but somewhat amused at the heated girl scoffing at him. From the distance you stand, you can’t make out details, but it’s still enough to notice the grin imprinted on his face, dimples marking his cheeks as he clenches his jaw, eyes wandering around the stage as he leans back fully to rest both elbows on top of the stool. “Plus, I get free booze before the House opens.”

As the words leave his lips his eyes meet yours, and you quickly realize you must’ve been staring for quite a while. You see the smirk growing on his face before you quickly look back at the forgotten bass in your hands. There’s a warmth creeping from your neck to the tip of your ears from getting caught all but gawking at him. You move your hands to the cords, beginning to tune the instrument as an attempt to cover-up. But when you take a peek at him you still find his eyes watching you, only enhancing the blush that’s now undoubtedly taking over your cheeks.

“You lot are way more organized than I expected.” He speaks up again, motioning towards Ross sitting by the side of the stage near the drumset.  “Got a roadie and everything.”

“Piss off!” Ross snarls back at him.

Harry just smiles. “Just taking a piss, mate.”

“I better not see you going around trying to get to one of my girls, Styles.” Abbey calls back from her shoulder as she jumps onto the stage, turning to face him. “Or you’re a dead man.”

“What’s that they can’t speak for themselves?” He arches his brows at her. “Where’s all that sexual freedom you love to brag about?”

“You’d love to use that as an excuse, wouldn’t you?” She toys with the mic stand. “You stay away from them.”

There’s no more banter once you begin the rehearsal. Harry grabbing a glass of a drink you can’t quite make out from the distance and moves to a spot tucked by the back of the place. Curiously, you catch yourself glimpsing in his direction every so often, but you can barely make out his silhouette due to the stage lights limiting your vision. At one point, when it dims down, you can see him scrunching over the table, focusing on a small journal sitting on top of it -- you find it odd his choice of place to do so, but don’t duel on it too much.

What keeps crawling back into your mind is Abbey’s words to Harry earlier, telling him to not try his way with any of you. She was talking about you. That much was clear, considering there’s not any other choice for him, with Jaz being very much compromised and Lena having no interest in engaging with men in any way. That leaves you as the only option that he could possibly pursue. It makes you think why she’d even consider that a possibility in the first place, but you push it to the back of your mind, concentrating on you bass lines until it’s around the opening hour and you’re getting ready backstage.

None of you are used to the concept of having a dressing room, so as undusted as it seems from a first glance, it still only helps to enhance the reality that hits you of this whole experience. The far voices from people starting to fill in the bar outside making your nerves become near overwhelming as you try to apply some eyeshadow with shaky hands. 

When you’re all ready to go, just about half an hour away from walking onstage, you try to dull your anxiety with a cup handed to you by Lena of something you’re not quite sure what it is but it tastes like oranges and tequila. You settle on a spot on the certainly old red couch prompted against the wall. Avoiding a big rip cutting through the middle of it, foam poking out of the hole, you try not to think of what could’ve caused it -- or all the other stains adorning it. 

There’s people coming and going around the space, the door not staying close for longer than a minute. Faster than you can process it, the room is suddenly crammed with people, none of which you recognize yet they greet you as if you’d been friends your whole life. Their loud voices mesh together, making it harder to even hear your own voice if you were to speak out loud. A strong scent of incense takes over the room, so intense you can feel the beginning of a headache. There are people stumbling on their feet trying to get to the stool across from you, where you catch a glimpse of a man with a messy mohawk snorting something out of a dirty bill. 

Two strangers found their sits next to you at some point - not paying the same attention you had to the rip scarring through the cushions. Both get lost in their conversation, the man’s fluffed curls poking your face occasionally when he gets too excited with the hand gestures. You catch a word or two when they try to include you in it, you offer a simple nod, not bothering to try and understand their muddled words.

It all starts to feel a bit overwhelming, the amount of strangers surrounding you along with the nervous feeling that’s already taking over your stomach -- the drink not being of any help at all. You look around trying to find a familiar face, but you can barely spot the green ends of Lena’s hair through the crowd. Gazing down at your wrist clock, you figure there’s enough time for you to find a emptier spot so you can calm yourself down.

“I think I’m gonna get some air.” You say to no one in particular, seeing the man’s head nodding from your peripheral vision as you maneuver your way between leather-clad bodies towards the door.

You’re met with a just as packed hallway. Searching for a more vacant space, you spot a sign indicating an exit door that had been pointed at you earlier as the back alleyway. Without a second thought, you make your way around the crowded space. The nest of feet makes you trip slightly, making you crash against a girl standing next to the door. You mutter a quick apology, but you’re only met with a pitched giggle in response.

Once you reach the door you all but jolt your way out of the building. The brisk night air hitting your face, bringing a sense of relief near to instantly. You close your eyes at the feeling, breathing in as the breeze dances around your face and messes with your air.

“Well, if it’s not one of Abigail’s bunnies.” A voice cuts through the air, breaking you from your moment of relief. Your eyes flutter open, meeting Harry’s irises watching you. He’s leaning back on the wall across from you, foot prompt up and jacket thrown over his shoulders. His fingers fiddle with a closed package of cigarettes, dimples shadowing on his face in amusement.

You blink at him, taking a second to process his words. “I’m not a bunny, whatever that means.”

His lips twitch up. “I’m sure you’re not, darling.”

You observe as he thumbs the package in hand open, quickly grabbing a cigarette and resting it between his lips. “Need a light for that?”

His brows shoot up. “Didn’t take you for a smoker, angel.”

“I’m not, my friends are.” You reach for the back pocket of your jeans, pulling out a tiny pink lighter and throwing it towards him.

He catches it, holding it up between his index and middle finger. “You carry that around for your friends?” He keeps his eyes trained on you as he raises the lighter, flicking it so it paints the end of the cigarette a fiery orange. You can’t help but notice the chipped black nail polish adorning his nails, a couple of rings hugging his fingers, only adding to his rockstar persona. His cheeks hollow around it, taking a slow drag exhaling smooth puffs of smoke out of his puckered lips. He points the end of the cigarette towards you. “That’s a good girl.”

You feel your breath hitch on your throat, looking down as you feel for the second time in the day a heat taking over your cheeks. Standing awkwardly in the middle of the alleyway, your gaze waves around checking a few other lone smokers not too far from you. When you peek at him again, he’s still watching you with the same smug look he had when he first walked in. From this distance you can get a better look at his face, with it’s full colors, and you make a point to figure the forest green of his eyes flickering under the dim light. 

You clear your throat, trying to fill in the silence that’s taken over the space. Keeping your eyes still trained on a random spot where the alley meets the street, you speak up,  “So, how did get a gig here?”

“Trying to get to know me now, love?” There’s a smug tone to his voice, and it makes you shoot your eyes at him.

You shake your head, scoffing softly. “Was trying to be nice, forget it.”

He lets the air fall quiet for a beat, the corner of his lips tugging up as he takes another drag of the cigarette. “My uncle owns the place.”

“Ronnie is your uncle?” You crease your eyebrows.

“Yup.” He props his foot down from the wall, kicking a small rock on the floor. “He’s a right prick, but he can be nice if you get on his soft spot.” He shrugs, eyes meeting yours. “What ‘bout you, bunny?”

 “What about me?”

“How did you get in the spotlight?”

You breathe out a laugh, shaking your head. “I’m not in the spotlight,” 

“You’re stepping on that stage in a few minutes, love, that’s hardly true.”

You chew on your lip, locking your eyes on your feet as you sway back and forth gently. “But I’m, like, on the invisible side of the stage.”

“Invisible side?” 

You shrug, trying to appear unflappable. “Yeah, well, no one ever notices the bassist.”

“I do.” He says without skipping a beat, and when you search for his eyes they’re aloof as if the words just left his lips without a single implication behind them. You wonder if there is one. Or maybe you’re just reading too much into it. Nonetheless, it doesn’t stop a flock of butterflies to sweep on your stomach as he shoots you a warm smile. He motions to the door behind you with his head, “Better get going, darling, if someone spots us talking they might think we’re friends.”

                                 ❁         ❁        ❁ 

“Did you see how crazy they went when we did Call Me?” Abbey leans over the table, not paying any mind to the way it starts to tilt towards her side. You and Jaz quickly balance the weight, straightening surface before the filled cups can start sliding down and causing a mess. You give her a scolding look for not being careful, but she doesn’t even look at you, only picking a fry from the pile in the middle and dipping inside her vanilla milkshake, sitting back and elbowing Lena next to her playfully. “And to think you said it’s not a gig song.”

“I didn’t say that.” Lena shakes the cup in her hand, circling the straw as to mix the melting ice cream inside, completely unfazed by her friend’s tease. “Just said we should do something new if people wanted old songs they would tune on that good times radio station, or whatever it’s called.”

“People like listening to classics!” Abbey protests, raising her voice bit, she’s either forgotten she’s in public or is just simply too stoned to care. Either way, you try to shush her, muffling a giggle with the back of your hand as you see a group two tables down looking back at her. She only huffs, leaning back down on her seat, “What do you suggest we play, then? Duran Duran?”

“I like Duran Duran.” You pester, trying to repress a smile as she shoots you a pointed look.

“I actually think Duran Duran is a great idea.” Lena backs you up, the same taunting smile reflecting on her face as she says it looking at you. 

“You two are completely insane if you think I’m singing new wave, might as well start to fill in for a new vocalist.” She shoves her hand full of fries, dropping to her side of the table with a shrug.

“Jaz you think that girl from your choir is available? The blonde one?” Lena bites into her straw, barely containing her laugh as Abbey narrows her eyes at her.

You watch in amusement from across the table, the contrast between Lena and Abbey looking comical as they continue to banter at each other. In one side there’s Lena who’s leaning back on the wall next to her, her neon pink jumpsuit standing out from anyone else in your group, hair hardly styled, being more of a nest in her head, the sides shaved and the back falling on her shoulders in a mullet. On the other side, Abbey’s swallowed in black, the only color being the red of her hair, that’s pushed up in a high side ponytail.

It was her idea to come to the diner after the gig, declining every offer of an after party (which is new for her) and insisting you had to have this moment to decompress together as a band. What you didn’t take account of, is that a diner on a Saturday night isn’t exactly a deserted place. So after spending an hour sitting on the parking lot, waiting for a table, you finally got yourselves a booth tucked by the back. And now as the place gets clearer and quieter by the minute, after getting your round of burgers, you share a big pile of fries, not ready to leave and sleep on this experience just yet.

“You know who also seem to enjoy the show? That Harry dude.” The mention of his name calls your attention to Lena. “Caught him in the corner a couple times watching us.”

You take a sip of his drink, trying to mask any expression that exposes the fact that you’d noticed too, maybe more than just a couple times.

To your relief, everyone focuses on Abbey as she lets out an annoyed huff. “Why’d you bring him up of all people.” She picks up her nearly empty cup a bit too harshly, her voice rising again. “He called me a Joan Jett wannabe! Fucking prick.”

 “You do dress like her,” Lena raises her brows in defiance.

“It’s called an inspiration, Adeline, doesn’t mean I’m trying to be her.” She barks at her friend. “Doesn’t give that knobhead the right to be a dick about it.”

“Why don’t you like him?” The question slips out of your lips before you can stop it, and you regret it as soon as all eyes on the table set on you, Abbey’s face creasing in an incredulous look as if the answer was obvious.

 “Are you serious? Did you hear how he spoke to us?”

“I don’t know,” You shrug, looking down at your lap, fiddling with the hem of your shorts. “Just seemed like he was trying to get a rise out of you.”

“He’s got a stick up his ass, babe. A full narcissist, it’s ridiculous.” She shakes her head, scrunching her nose in aversion. “He’s also a complete womanizer, it’s disgusting if you ask me.”

“I guess,” You gaze up at her.”

“Babe, he’s a charmer, I’ve seen it before, he knows how to sweet talk someone.” She explains in a sigh. “They’re all like that.”

“They?”

“Men in bands.” She picks up another fry, poking it on her forehead as she makes her point. “Have their heads bigger than the whole stage, think they can do just about anything.”

“Suppose that’s true,” You agree, not wanting to get further in this discussion.

She smiles, biting a piece of the fry before pointing it at you. “It is, which is why we are smart girls and don’t fuck with them.”

                                 ❁         ❁        ❁

You’re aware that going for a walk by yourself at night is not a very secure choice. 

Even living in what you feel like could be the most monotone town in the area (where the biggest report on the local news was when two boys got stuck on a tree thanks to a dare with their friends). But it still doesn’t stop you from being careful, only going around the busier streets, watching the movement of people - mostly students - chatting the night away on the filled pub table, enjoying the short break between studies before going back at it once the weekend’s over. 

You stroll around with not much of a purpose, really, only needing a bit of time to yourself every so often when you feel the turmoil in your home becomes to much (on those weekends when both your roommates decide to stay home). So you just go on your usual path, breathing in the night air and enjoying some alone time.

The ending of your course is marked by none other than the Blue Bird, standing in a corner of the main street.

 A small group of people is gathered in front of it, smoking their cigarettes. You stare at them for a minute as you get closer to the led lights indicating the entrance of the pub, the girls with their bright-colored outfits, hair styled and puffed up as they laugh along to whatever one of the boys has said. One of them has a leather jacket thrown over her shoulder that almost swallows her figure, and you can only assume that it belongs to the man talking to her, leaning back on a payphone, the quiff in his hair so high it makes him look like a knock-off John Travolta. The thought makes you breathe out a laugh to yourself.

Once you reach the entrance you look at it mindlessly, not being able to see much from outside except the string curtain hanged on top of the open door. You turn on your heels, ready to start making your way back, but as you pay attention to the muffled sounds coming from inside the pub you stop on your tracks. A familiar tune catching your attention, making you turn in the direction of the entry. Somebody to Love. 

It peaks your curiosity. If you’re honest, you feel like covering a Queen song is probably one of the most bound for disaster decisions someone can make. But as you feel yourself approaching the entrance, the voice of whoever’s singing it all but lures you inside. It’s not the same as the original, of course, but the lower tone to it fits it just as beautifully and once you fully walk in you can almost feel your heart skip a beat to find Harry standing on stage. His eyes closed in concentration. 

It’s saturday. His saturday night. You forgot about that.

You don’t dare to try to mend amongst the crowd of people packed in front of the stage, making your way to the bar. You thankfully find an empty stool without much of a fight, allowing you a perfect vision of the stage.

Harry is playing the guitar, his voice blending perfectly with the vocals of the girls in the background, eyes closed as he feels every lyric coming out of his throat. His stage look is much different than the one he wore back when you first saw him, it’s something you reckon not many people could rock out as good as he does. A mismatched suit, light green blazer with a pink blouse underneath, along with bright blue trousers -- it’s as if he picked one piece from different colored suits (which you assume he probably did). The locks of his hair are no longer running wild on his head, instead, it’s gelled back, a single rebel strand falling charmingly against his forehead. You wonder if it’s on purpose.

It’s quite a sight to see him like this, you’re not gonna lie. All suited up with no tie, the blouse only partially buttoned so you notice a tease of some tattoos on his chest. You’d noticed his good looks before, it’s impossible not to, but there’s something about the stage glow that makes it impossible to look away from him. It’s mesmerizing.

To your surprise, the rest of his set mainly consists of originals, and unlike you’d expect for any amateur band that dares to sweep away from covers, he manages to hold the crowd’s attention as if he’s singing any other hit song you hear on the radio. Even not knowing the lyrics, people cheer along to the songs, moving to the beat as best as they can in the crowded space. And that’s a direct result of the charisma he holds while standing on stage.

It’s entrancing, really, how he holds himself as if he was born to be doing this. And you think maybe he was. 

There’s a mischievous glow to him, when he rocks out to his own songs, grinding slightly against the mic stand. A gesture that makes you flustered even from your seat a couple of meters away. You couldn’t keep your eyes off of him even if you tried. And you’re sure as hell not trying.

At one point you feel a poke in your arm, turning around to be met with the barman who recognizes you from the week prior. He greets you with a shout over the noise, offering you a drink on his account. Your first instinct is to refuse, considering you weren’t even supposed to stay for long, but after a bit of insisting on his part you accept with a shy smile.

By the time he’s ending the last song, you’re at the edge of your seat, catching yourself wishing you could see more of him. The lights in the audience turn on as he wraps up the set, and just before he bows down with the rest of his band his eyes wander in your direction. It’s so quickly that you think you could’ve just imagined it, considering his eyes don’t meet yours again, only rushing his way backstage.

You blink at the empty spot where he once stood for a moment, almost feeling frozen in place as you try to take in what happened. Turning on your stool to face the bar, you gaze down at your forgotten drink. You hold it to your lips, deciding to finish it so you can ease your way out before anyone else spots you. Your attempt is frustrated, however, when you hear a voice coming from behind you.

“Reckon Abbey Road would throw a fit if she knew you’re wandering around watching my concert.” You turn to face Harry, finding him looking down at you, signature smirk making his dimples poke onto his cheeks. His hands are hidden inside the pockets of his dress pants and he’s taken off his blazer, causing the pink of his blouse to stand out even more.

You chew the inside of your lip. “I can make my own decisions, you know.”

“That’s good to hear, bunny.” His smile grows, hand leaving the pocket to motion at the empty spot next to you. “Mind if I sit here?”

“Be my guest.”

He sits on the empty stool, turning to the bartender that’s handing a drink to a man standing behind you. “Can you give the lady another one of what she was drinking? On my tab.”

“Oh you don’t have to, I was about to--” You begin, but the man behind the counter doesn’t care to listen, only picking up your empty glass and moving away to fill it up. “leave.”

“Already?” Harry arches his eyebrows, resting his arm on top of the counter and leaning towards you. His voice comes out a bit softer, dropping the playful tone, “let me buy you a drink, angel.”

You ignore the way the hairs on your neck rise at the petname. “You really don’t have to--”

“I want to.”

“Okay.” You breathe out, not being able to hold back your smile once his own grows on his face.

As if on cue, the bartender comes back with two glasses, setting them in front of the two of you. You don’t fail to note the fact that he gives Harry his drink without being asked to.

He picks up his glass, holding it up, to which you do the same, clinking your glasses slightly before taking a sip.  “So, what brings you here tonight? Measuring the competition?”

 “I was just walking around, heard a lousy cover of Somebody To Love, and decided to come in.”

He throws his head back a bit in laughter, nose scrunching adorably. You have to look away as to not find yourself staring. “A Queen fan, then?”

 “You could say so.”

“A pretty girl with a good taste in music, gonna steal m’heart if you keep going, bunny.” And just like that, it’s like he takes all the words out of your mind. You only let out a small chuckle, taking a sip of your drink as you look away to cove the blush that paints your cheeks. His eyes are still trained on you, though. “Was it any good?”

“Huh?” You blink back at him.

“The cover.” He grins. “Or was it really that lousy?”

“Oh, it was amazing.” You say truthfully, clearing your throat. “You have a beautiful voice.”

“Thank you.” He bows his head slightly, smiling at you. And unlike before, it’s not smug, but rather warm, you smile back at him. “Enjoyed the show, then?”

“I did.” You nod.

“I’m glad.” He runs his finger around the brim of his glass, tapping against it once with a click of his ring against the glass.  “What would you change about it?”

The question takes you back. “What would I change?” 

 “Yeah.” He clasps his hands over his lap, moving his feet on the floor so his stool swivels from one side to the other.

“Uhm…” You crease your brows, trying to hack your brain for an answer. Your eyes land on his blouse, still halfway unbuttoned. “Your shirt.”

“M’shirt?” He questions, brows shooting towards his hairline, clearly not expecting the answer. He gazes down at the piece on his body, fingers pitching the material as he looks back at you. “What’s wrong with it?”

“Not a big fan of pink.” You shrug.

“Now, we just can’t have that, bunny.” He clicks his tongue. “Pink is the new color of rock n roll!”

You chuckle. “Says who?”

“Says me.”

You roll your eyes playfully. “Oh, I’m sorry then, mister rockstar.”

His face lights up in a giggle, lips parting to say something but before he can let the words out a hand rests on his shoulder calling both your attentions to the man standing next to him. You recognize him from standing next to Harry on stage as the guitar player.

“We’re hopping over to Eamon’s.” He doesn’t acknowledge you until Harry’s eyes hover over in your direction. 

“That’s fine, think I’ll stay behind this time.” Harry looks back at his friend, but you see him glimpsing at you from the corner of his eyes.

You watch as his friend raises his brows, gazing between the two of you in a curious manner. You clear your throat, shifting in your seat as you look at them. “ It’s fine, I should get going anyway.”

“You don’t have to,” he says in a blink, a smirk twitching on his lips almost as if to cover up how quickly he said it. He turns back to his friend, who’s still watching the interaction with raised eyebrows.  “You can go without me, I’ll see you all tomorrow.”

“Harry, you didn’t have to.” You subconsciously reach for his arm, retracting your touch just as fast when he glances at it. Clearing your throat, you play with “I really should get going, I was supposed to be on a walk after all.”

“Let me walk you back then,” he gets up from his stool, giving his friend a brief hug before turning back to you and extending his hand for you to take. Your lips part to protest, feeling as if you’re holding him back even though it was his decision to stay behind, but before the words can even come out of your mouth he beats you to it,  “there’s no way I’m letting you go home by yourself this late, love.”

You sigh, shoulder dropping in defeat as you hold back a smile. Taking his hand, you stand up, “okay.”

The main street hasn’t exactly quieted down since you first walked by it, in fact, it only seems like it’s gotten rowdier. Time only increasing the buzz wandering in the air around the people filling the bars, voices louder, filled glasses clinking more frequently. As you stroll through it side by side there’s a comment or to that floats in the air, but you have to all but shout it, fighting with the turmoil of noise.

As soon as you turn into the first street away from the crowds it’s as if someone had turned off the sound completely, the nest of voices getting far-off in the distance and the loudest sound being of the night breeze kissing the tree branches above you. You can feel Harry glancing up at you from the corner of your eye and it doesn’t take long until his voice echoes in the air in an attempt to make small talk.

It’s surprising to you, how easy it is to be drawn in a conversation with him. Harry’s essentially not the same offstage as he is under the spotlight, most people aren’t. There’s no need for him to bloat his charisma when talking to you, he’s quieter. Shy, almost. And it takes you back a bit, to see such contrast in a short amount of time. 

The magnetic force to him, however, still lingers even when he’s like this. You feel drawn to it, wanting to hear him speak about everything that comes to mind, just to savor the way he articulates his words, voice so calm and low it sends an electric chill down your spine. As he tells you about his music inspirations, going on the story about the time he traveled alone to crash a Fleetwood Mac concert, hands brushing against yours when he walks, you catch yourself wondering what it would feel like to link them together.

Once you reach your street, just a block away from the entrance gate of your home, you notice the front lights are yet to be turned off, indicating your roommates are still up and around -- most likely arguing about MTV’s top ten of the week. The realization makes you come to an abrupt stop, catching Harry off guard as he takes a few steps before realizing you stayed behind. 

“Wait.” You say once he turns around, brows furrowed in a silent question as to why you stopped. “Uhm… You can drop me off here… It’s fine.”

“What do you mean? Is it too far? I don’t mind walking-”

“No!” You interrupt. “It’s not that, my house is right there, see?” You point to the bricked building no too far from where you stand.

“Why do y’want me to drop you off here, then?” The crease on his face deepens.

“I-- it’s just--” you begin, not knowing how to say it. “It’s just the girls are still awake, and..”

“Ah,” he clicks his tongue, an amused grin expanding on his cheeks. “Don’t wanna get scolded for hanging out with the enemy.”

“Don’t say like that.” You chuckle at yourself, looking down in embarrassment. “They just will never let me hear the end of it.”

“I get it, bunny.” He takes easy steps towards you, closing the space as he stands tall in front of you. You hold your breath as you look up at him, meeting his irises glimmering in enjoyment, dimples shadowing on his cheek. His hand reaches up, moving a strand of your hair behind your ear and you swear if he gets any closer he’ll be able to hear your heart thumping in anticipation. “Had a lovely time with you.”

“Me, uhm--” you clear your throat as your voice cracks, blood flooding your cheeks. “Me too.”

The streetlight above gives his face a golden glow that almost takes your breath away, his hair glistening in the light due to the gel pushing it back, and now even more rebel strands curl against his forehead. You half expect him to lean down, you don’t know why he would, but for a moment it seems like he will. To your dismay, however, he steps back, giving you one last smile before moving out of your way on the sidewalk. “I’ll see you around, then.”

                                 ❁         ❁        ❁ 

“I have some exciting news for you.”

Abbey’s voice startles you, not realizing she’d entered the dressing room while you focused on the book on your lap. Since you’ve gotten a spot at every other weekend on the pub, your routine just seemed to get even more busy, with rehearsals almost every day. So, because of that you barely find time to do your assignments. And with a book report due just around the corner, you’d thought maybe you could sneak in some reading time after the gig when everyone’s down at the bar and not prancing and screaming around the dressing room.

 Your assumptions shows itself to be wrong, however, when your perky friend bounces her way to where you sit. She kneels next to the couch, crossing her arms on top of your legs and resting her chin on them, looking up at you expectantly, lips lifted in a side grin. 

“What is it?”

“Got us an after-party, babe.” you notice a few colored lollies in her hand when she removes the plastic protecting a red one, shoving it between your lips before you can even protest. “And you’re coming with us.”

“I’d love to but I have class tom—“ Your voice is muffled around the sweet. 

She rolls her eyes, standing to sit next to you on the arm of the couch. “You should stop wasting your life with an outdated system” 

“You mean getting a degree?” 

“Do you watch the news? We’re about to be the last generation to live fully, the world is about to break into nuclear wars all around.” She says as a matter-of-fact, turning to rest her legs on top of your lap. “Cosmo said we probably won’t even make it to the 2000s” 

“Who’s Cosmo?” 

She sighs, reaching to move a strand of your hair behind your ear. Her voice comes out soft, but calculated, “what matters is that we should enjoy our time while we have it.” 

“You’re giving a whole speech about nuclear war to convince me to go to a party with you.” You arch your brows at her. 

“Yes.” 

You sigh, shoulders falling in defeat as you let yourself be convinced. “Okay. But I’ll—” 

“Great!!” She squeals, moving her legs from your lap and leaning down to grab your face, pressing a quick kiss on top of your hair before jumping from the couch, and out of the room. 

Once you arrive at the location of the after-party, Abbey leads you and Lena to a tall gate by the side of the house, explaining that you’re walking in from the back garden, considering the front door is locked. You find it odd, and if wasn’t for the muted sound of instruments echoing inside the bricked walls of the place, you’d doubt there was even a party happening here at all. The front of it was as regular as the other surrounding suburbian homes, grass neatly trimmed and the front lights turned off, as if nobody was even home.

Which is why you’re visibly taken back when you walk by the gate into the back area, finding an old vintage bus that could be around ten or even twenty years old, sitting in the middle of the grass. The wheels of it have been taken off, and every inch of the exterior is covered by graffiti, so much you couldn’t even make out the original color of it if you tried. Some of them are unreadable scribbles tangling on top of each other. Some are colorful drawings painted over them -- two sunflowers catch your attention, marked just above where the wheel would be, growing tall along the side and above the window.

“I know, right?” Abbey nods at your astounded expression. “Legend says John Lennon signed it somewhere.”

“Really?” You look at her, not able to hold back the way your voice pitches in amazement.

“Dunno, never looked for it.” She shrugs. “C’mon I’ll show you.”

She grabs your hand, dragging you to the side of the vehicle pointing at some random drawings and explaining the rumors behind their meanings. You try to concentrate on her excited babbles, but as you see Lena walking away from the corner of your eye you look up to watch her meet with a girl you’ve never seen. Before you can focus back on your friend, something else catches your attention, sitting on a wooden bench under a large tree, no too far from where you stand.

Harry’s in a small group sat in a circle. You recognize two men from his band sitting on the grass with guitars propped on their laps, one being the same that interrupted you the night at the bar. The rest are women who seem to have come right out of Fleetwood Mac’s tour bus, their long hairs pushed back with hairbands and earthtoned flare pants. But you barely even care about the ones sitting on the grass, humming along to the strings of the guitars. What grabs your attention is the one next to harry on the bench, her arm draped over his shoulder as she dabbles flower petals playfully on his hair. 

You hardly take in his appearance, half-mindedly noticing the tattoos decorating his arms that pokes out of his tank top and the twirls on his hair as the girl winds her fingers on it. it’s hard not to remember Abbey’s words when she said he knows how to sweet talk his way around, and the thought of having fallen down on his trap only makes your heart pang on your chest. 

“-- That’s basically why they won’t let anyone paint over it anymore.” You turn back to Abbey as she points to the sunflowers you’d spotted earlier, nodding along as if you’d heard everything she said. She looks at you, “but I like this way better, don’t you think?” 

“Yeah.” You agree, not exactly knowing what to.  

She wraps her arm around yours, and you grasp the minty scent of her perfume as she pulls you close. “Let’s go inside.” 

There’s an urge inside of you to peek back over your shoulder to catch a last glimpse of Harry, but you push it to the back of your mind, allowing Abbey to guide you around the bus where the entrance door is hanging open. 

A small group of people greet you inside the bus, amongst them is the said ‘Cosmo’.  He seems like the exact kind of person you’d imagine Abbey hanging around on her weekends’ escapades. Dressed in a baby blue velvet suit with nothing underneath his blazer except a few of - what you assume - hand-painted tattoos, matching with a rainbow stripe drawn on the side of his face, starting at the bridge of his nose and going all the way to the curve of his jaw. His hair hits just around his shoulders, the sides shaved so it’s like a puffed version of a mullet, edges dyed in a bright shade of red. He toys with a lit joint between his purple lips, picking it up and offering to you with a raise of his brows.

Normally you’d decline the offer, especially coming from someone you’d just met, but there’s an annoying feeling settling itself at the pit of your stomach. One you want to ignore but can only do so much to dull it, so you accept the joint, reaching for it and placing it in your mouth. 

You’re not a regular smoker by any means, and when you inhale you can feel the smoke burning your throat as it moves down to curl inside your lungs. It makes you want to cough it out but you hold it in, trying to take in everything before huffing it out in a choked breath.

“Do you want a drink?” One of the girls asks you, already pouring you a purple drink inside a labeless plastic bottle.

“What’s in this?” You accept the cup, giving her an skeptic look.

“Pure fuel, babe.” Abbey leans on your shoulder from behind.

You hang out in the bus for a while, and, to your surprise, you don’t feel left out as they keep notice to include you in their conversations. The drink ends up being not that bad, and, even having no idea what’s in it except for the very artificial citric taste mixed with some very strong cheap alcohol, you still refill your cup after you finish it. 

It’s a nice feeling, to get a bit looser in a party and allowing yourself to have some adventurous fun. And as time goes by and your mind gets cloudier, the group starts to disperse. Two of them find a spot in the back with as much privacy as they could get in a party to swallow each others faces. Another one passes out in one of the seats behind you, hugging the empty plastic bottle as if it’d run away from them. It leaves just Abbey and Cosmo with you, discussing with each other about something that you’ve stopped paying attention a long while ago.

You just watch them silently, resting your head back on the seat and feeling the late hours weightening on your eyelids. You feel like you could doze off at any moment, but what stops you from it is a loud screeching sound of an amplifier from inside the house. It startles you, making you jump slightly on your seat as you hear a voice speaking almost like a groan, and you’re not sure if it’s your drunken mind or the inaudible words but you can’t make out a single thing that’s being said. A crease deepens between your eyebrows and you turn to question your friend about it but, before you can do so what seems like the most obnoxious cover of  We Built This City starts playing.

Abbey gasps as the chords of the song somehow get even louder, grasping her hand on the man’s arm. “Oh my god!” She squeals, exchanging a look with Cosmo as they both all but jump from their seats. She glances down at you, “We’re going in, are you coming?”

You raise your brows at her, trying to hide the scrunch on your face. “I’m good.”

She nods, making her way out of the bus, her feet stumbling on each other as she holds onto her friend’s shoulder to keep her balance. And just like that, you’re left alone on the leather seat.

You peek at the couple in the back, eyes bulging slightly as you see the girl has lost her shirt, the boy’s hands caress her chest as they keep their lips locked harshly. Deciding to give them a bit more privacy, you make your way out of the bus as well, the contrast from the compact air inside the vehicle to the crisp wind of the outdoors sending chills down your body.

Looking around, you realize most people hanging around are gone, probably gone inside the house. You can’t help but let your eyes wander to the spot you’d seen Harry earlier, and you don’t hold back the shock in your face when you find him still sitting on the bench, but this time with no one else around him. He fiddles with a lighter on his hand, flickering every so often to watch the weak flame before letting it die again. 

Your feet start to move before you can really grasp that you’re walking towards him, your head still a bit cloudy from the substances in your bloodstream. He looks up once you get close to him, signature smirk growing on his lips as he glances up at you.

“Look what we have here.” He leans back, “a lost bunny.” 

“Hi, Harry.” You say simply.

His smile turns a bit softer. “Where are your bandmates?”

“Celebrating.” You shrug.

“Shouldn’t you be as well?”

“I am.” You hold up the mostly empty red cup.

He chuckles. “I see, having fun by yourself then?”

You focus on a spot beyond his head, suddenly feeling timid under his gaze. “Seems like it.”

“Want to join my private party here?” He shifts to his side, patting the spot next to him. “S’very exclusive, as you can see.”

“Well, I’m honored to be invited, then.” You sit down on the space he made for you.

For a moment, there’s a silence between the two of you, the only sound being the jarring cover of  Everybody Wants to Rule The World. The notes of it are so off that you can’t help but huff a relieved breath when it comes to an end, enjoying the few seconds of silence before they begin another song. 

A small groan leaves your lips when the noise starts again, catching Harry’s attention as you feel his eyes land on the side of your face. “It should be illegal to ruin great songs like this.” You shake your head to yourself, speaking your thoughts out loud in a rush of confidence. “They should get arrested for it.”

He chuckles. “You’re not wrong.”

Your eyes dart at him, meeting his. It’s hard to miss the way his irises glimmer under the moonlight. When he glances down at the lighter still in his hands you take the opportunity to really have a look at him. The proximity makes you aware of a small constellation of freckles kissing his nose, and the stubble starting to poke out the skin along his jawline. You want to blame the haziness in your mind for the thoughts of how it would feel like to have it scratching against your skin. Or how it would feel under your lips as you nibble your way all the way to his rosy lips. You want to push these away, belittle them as nothing but drunken thoughts. But you know very well it wouldn’t be the first time you’ve let yourself be entertained by them.

A pitched scream takes you out of your head. You realize there’s been a beat of silence since he’s spoken, so you clear your throat, a warmth creeping up on your neck as if he’d been able to hear your thoughts. “Do you know them?”

He shakes his head slightly. “Not really, no. They played in the pub once, Ronnie hated them.” He glances at you, corner of his lips itching upwards. “Call themselves Crystal Illusion, so there’s that.”

“Christ.” You can’t help but roll your eyes. “And here I thought it couldn’t get any worse.”

The sound of his giggle makes you look back at him, catching the sight of his dimples carving deep on his cheeks. “You’re really something, aren’t you, bunny?”

“Why do you call me that?” The question rolls of your tongue before you can even think about it. His brows raise at your question, and you decide to enjoy the rush of confidence and pick on it further. “Dunno if I’m supposed to feel offended or charmed.”

 “Don’t mean it as a tease, can tell that much.” He smiles, shrugging slightly. “You just remind me of a bunny.”

The words pique your curiosity. “How so?”

He looks back down to his lap, and if it wasn’t for the poor lighting you would be sure of the blush taking over his cheeks. “Just all cute -- could tell you were a bit reserved, and like, curious. Had your eyes wandering all around when I first saw you.” He moves his head around lightly as if to explain his point and you have to bite back a smile. “And when you were focused you’d scrunch your nose a bit. Like a bunny.”

“I’m glad you didn’t say I have big ears.” You try to humor, searching for his eyes.

He laughs, looking up at you. “I mean, now that you’ve mentioned it…”

Your gasp shifts into a giggle as you push him away playfully. “Well, if I’m a bunny...” You pause, racking your mind to think of an analogy for him, but your mind is still a bit slowed down, your thoughts taking a beat too long to catch up to your words. When you glance down to the arm that’s brushing against yours, you notice the tattoo peaking on his skin. You reach for it without thinking about it, fingers tracing the ink as you take in the drawing, his eyes follow your touch curiously. “Then you’re an eagle.” You cringe to yourself as soon as the words come out of your mouth, attempting to mask it as you breathe out a laugh.

He arches his brows, lips fluttering, trying to hold back a smile. “You think I’ll kill you?”

“Oh shit, you’re right.” You cover your face with your hand, shaking your head at yourself. “Didn’t think that one through.” Your laughs meld together for a moment, slowly dying off and giving space a comfortable silence. The only sounds being the nightly hum of cicadas and the whisper of the breeze against the branches of the trees, that and, well, the faint screams of instruments from inside the house. Looking up at him, a breath hitches when you realize the proximity of his eyes to yours. You try to tease him but when you speak your voice comes out lower than you expected, almost in a whisper,  “so you think I’m cute?”

“Course I do.” He says in a blink. “Don’t think that’s much of a secret, love.”

You chew on your bottom lip, not missing the way his eyes dart down on your face. “You’re not so bad yourself.”

“Yeah?” He smirks, wiggling his eyebrow teasingly. “Think I’m pretty?”

“I won’t inflate your ego if that’s what you want.”

“I tried.” He breathes out a laugh, eyes moving back down on your face but this time he doesn’t rush them back to yours, not hiding the intent of his gaze. For the first time, you’re glad for the background noise, afraid that if it wasn’t for it he’d be able to hear the thumping of your heart.“Can I kiss you?”

“Huh?” You blink at him, not because you didn’t hear him, but because you’re a bit taken back at the forwardness of the question.

 He moves his arm to rest on the back of the bench, turning his hand to play with the tips of your hair. “Can I kiss you, bunny?” He repeats.

You nod before you can find it in you to voice your answer, clearing your throat, “yes.”

The hand that’s not in your hair moves to caress your cheek, he takes a moment to look at you, thumb rubbing your cheek gently before he leans in. Your eyes flutter close instinctively, holding your breath in anticipation as you feel his lips on the corner of your mouth. He keeps them there for a beat before pulling back, tilting your face a little just to finally close the space between your mouths.

The kiss starts slow. Uncertain, even. His lips are soft against yours, warm breath hitting your cupid bow as he sucks in your bottom lip gently. You feel his hand cupping your jaw, sneaking behind your neck as he pulls you closer and you all but melt under his touch. Being this close you can smell the scent of his cologne mixed with the smoke of cigarettes, and something about it is so sensual you can’t help but grip on his shirt as to have something to hold on to.

You can feel yourself getting lost on his touch, shamelessly scooping to the side as you enlace your thighs for the sake of being closer to him. His hand falls on your knee, rubbing it as your tongue line on his bottom lip.

It’s the sound of the door that leads to the house sliding open that falls like a bucket of ice water on your head, reminding you of your surroundings, and that you’re not, in fact, alone with him in the garden, which means any of your friends could easily spot you if they were to walk outside.

  It’s almost like he reads your mind when you pull away from him, loosening your grasp on the material of his shirt. His lips don’t let you get far, trailing their way along your jaw until he can bite on your lobe. “Relax, petal” He whispers, pulling back to look at you as your noses brush together. “They won’t see us, even if they do they’re probably too stoned to even care.”

You let out a weak chuckle, gazing at the door where a group of people stumble their way towards the bus, voices loud as they slur incoherent words. It’s hard to see inside the house as most of the lights inside seem to be turned off, but you can tell how packed it is, bodies pressed so close together it makes you wince slightly just with the thought of being amongst them. Looking back at him, you ponder for a second before nodding. “You’re right.”

A grin paints on his face before he leans in, closing the space between you once again.

                                 ❁         ❁        ❁ 

“Still with us?” A call of your name on the mic snaps you out of your thoughts.

Looking up, you’re met with your bandmates curious eyes staring right at you and you realize you’ve probably been too lost in your own head to pay attention to the conversation in hand. Your lips part for a split second, trying to think of an answer that doesn’t give away your lack of focus but a single look at Abbey’s arched brows and you know you’ve been caught. 

You clear your throat, lips tugging on a guilty smile. “Sorry, I am now.” 

It’s hard not to let your eyes glimpse to the back of the room, where the sole reason for your distraction sits quietly on his regular spot, tucked behind his journal and doing his own thing. But you hold back the stare, knowing your moves were being watched by your friend who’s back to talking about the setlist changes for the night, and who would not be happy in the slightest to notice your wandering eyes falling on the one person she despises the most. You wonder how she’d react if she got her hands on the piece of paper burning through the back pocket of your denim shorts. 

The message was short and simple, but the connotation behind it carried a much stronger meaning to it.

Meet me in the back before the gig, want to see you. -H

You found it tucked inside your case, lying innocently on top of your bass, apparent enough so anyone who’d opened the case could’ve found it before you. Surely, no one else did, otherwise, you wouldn’t hear the end of it from the minute you’d stepped into the place. Which makes you wonder how he managed to slip in the note sneakily enough without anyone noticing it, but the curiosity is well dulled in your mind by the pounding of your heart.

To your dismay, however, you barely got a look at him throughout the rehearsal. You got to The Blue Bird later than you’d intended to, the tutoring session you had on the day ended up running later than you’d expected. So by the time you stepped through the string curtains of the pub  Harry was already tucked on the shadowy corner and everyone else was hanging by the stage waiting for you, barely giving you a second to set your bag in the dressing room.

So it’s hard for you not to stare when he gets up from his seat, walking into the lighter space of the bar with his signature smirk painted on his face. You’d just gone through the last song of your set for the second time -- an amplified version of Girls Just Wanna Have Fun (Lena insisting on repeating it after messing up on the first try). He’s holding a maroon leather jacket on his arm, along with his journal, leaving his arms bare under his Bowie tank top -- which, as he approaches the stage you notice the uneven hem on the sleeves, suggesting he might’ve cut them off himself.  His hair is running wild as usual, the fringe curling against his forehead and you chew on your lip at the thought of running your hands through it as you did not even a week ago.

He reaches to the back pocket of his jeans, pulling out a pack of cigarettes as he reaches the end of the stage. “That was a great one, everybody, maybe if you keep it going we can get you a spot on that wacky show they’re premiering.” He sets the stuff he’s carrying on the stage floor, crossing his arms on top of it. “What’s it called again? ‘S like ‘gag me with a spoon’ or something like that.”

“We wouldn’t want to steal your spot again.” The words leave your lips before you can process them, for a moment forgetting you’re not alone with him so your playful tease can be easily interpreted as mocking. 

He rests the things he’s carrying on his arm on the stage floor, hoisting himself up almost effortlessly before picking them up again, walking the few steps it takes for him to stand in front of you. His lips are tugged on a shit-eating grin. “Got another feisty one in here, huh?” He crosses his arms under his chest, and you can’t help but note the way his muscles flex at the gesture, his tattoos dancing slightly on his skin. “What makes you so smug about stealing my spot? Reckon Ronnie only said he needed more chicks hanging around.”

“If that’s the case then there’s no need for you to be intimidated by a band of chicks, then.” You keep your eyes trained on his, but you can notice Abbey’s getting wider from over his shoulder. 

His lips twitch up, and you can tell he’s holding back a genuine smile as not to crack your act. “Am I intimidated now, bunny?”

“It’s what it looks like.” You shrug, now holding back your own smile.

“Maybe you need to take a better look at things then, angel.”  He starts walking backwards in the direction of the backstage. “Wouldn’t want any more misunderstandings, would we?”

“Don’t think we would.” 

And with that, he turns around, walking the rest of the way out and disappearing as he rounds the corner to where you know it’s the door leading to the back alleyway. You just stand there quietly for a moment, following his steps as you try to recollect what just happened. For the two of you, it was clear that the tension was the product of an unspoken want circling around, but you question for a second if that’s the impression that your friends had. And as you look at their expressions, raised brows and mouths agape, it’s hard to tell.

“Holy shit, babe.” Abbey is the first to speak out. “Didn’t know you had that in you.”

You hold back a relieved exhale, shrugging slightly as you remove the strap of the bass from your shoulder. “He was just getting on my nerves.” You face away from her, placing the instrument on the stand.

The anticipation of meeting Harry grows impatiently on your stomach as you try to find a gap where no one’s attention is on you to sneak out of the dressing room. It seems as if every time you think you can do it, someone pulls you in, either to try to push you another pill of something you’re not sure what it is or to ask you to help with their makeup. But as the room gets filled and people get higher, their focus become more diffuse, and finally, after finishing assisting Jaz with her eyeliner (her hands were too shaky to get it right) you manage to slip out the room into the corridor.

There’s a sense of recognition that takes over your body when you feel the wind messing with your hair as you step out the building to be met with Harry’s figure leaning back on the wall, not too far from the spot you found him the last time you’d been in this same position. His eyes shoot in your direction as soon as you step through the door as if he’d been waiting for this just as eagerly as you were. He quickly throws the butt of the cigarette on the floor, stepping on it before standing tall as you slowly approach him.

“Hi.” You say simply, fingers fidgeting with the hem of your shorts -- not knowing with to do with your hands.

“Hi.” His grin grows. “Came back here to intimidate me?” He teases, biting on his bottom lip.

“Actually,” you scrunch your lips, deciding to play his game as you reach on your back pocket, retrieving the small piece of paper and holding it up. “Got this very desperate note from a secret admirer but I don’t see any hotties here.” You click your tongue, looking around as you let out a loud sigh. “Guess it might be just a misunderstanding.”

He laughs, hands reaching for your waist to draw you closer. “That’s too bad, guess you’re stuck with me”

“Yeah?” You wrap your arms around his shoulders, stepping closer so that your chests meet and his forehead falls against yours.

He nods in response, your noses brushing gently before he leans to meet your mouth with his own.

                                 ❁         ❁        ❁

There’s a thrilling feeling that settles deep within you when it comes to holding a secret.

It’s that spark of excitement that brings a kaleidoscope of butterflies to come alive on your stomach. The kind of feeling that makes every cell of your body feel not just simply alive but as if it’s burning with joy. Which is why you guess falling into a routine of sneaking around with Harry on secret little rendezvous was so easy, to begin with. 

Of course, your friends’ opinions are important to you, but you know that you’re an adult very much capable of making your own decisions. That means sleeping with anyone you’d like despite their ill opinions about the person, without having to sneak around as if you’re teenagers hiding from your parents. You know that, and you try to remind yourself of that every time you catch yourself lying to them about your whereabouts at every coming day. 

In the beginning, you weren’t even sure that there was anything to it except for a couple of innocent kisses, maybe some not-so-innocent touches here and there, but nothing really worth even telling anyone. You’d only really see Harry on the weekends. When he would steal moments with you before your gigs when you “had to take a breather”. Or when mysteriously disappeared from your friends’ sides during after parties after they already had their minds buzzed and noses backed up. Or even when your night walks would tart becoming gradually longer due to your curiosity getting the best of you once you found yourself in front of the familiar Pub on Harry’s nights.

The weekends’ escapades took a different turn when they graduated to weekdays. Things took a quick turn then. It started with him offering you a ride to the houses for your tutoring or to the library (stealing kisses every now and then, of course). And before you knew, you were making up classes or books to rent for your oblivious roommates, only to spend hours on Harry’s car. Coming back with puffy lips and messy hair.

Part of you felt bad for going behind their backs, every now and then feeling an urge to pull Lena aside and gush about him for as long as your heart desired.

But it’s the thrill of it, of having something that’s just yours to have, that no one else knows except the two of you. The adrenaline that comes with the possibility of getting caught at any moment, but being able to get away with it. It’s almost addicting to you, so you prefer to have these moments just to yourself.

As the days went by, and those days turned into weeks, and those weeks turned into months, it just made it harder for you to tell them you’d been hiding a whole relationship for this amount of time. Well, not exactly a relationship, but as close as you ever got to one anyway.

And it’s not like you’d never had anyone before. Being in the music scene, you’ve had your quite a few amounts of flings — even though not as many as it’s expected. But no one has ever left you as enamored as him, especially not as quickly as he has. He’s intriguing, carrying around that mysterious aura around him that leaves everyone wondering the secrets he holds in his heart. 

Although when it’s just the two of you it’s like this cocky persona of him completely dissolves. It’s a complete contrast from the image he carries around the restless mouths of prying people. He’s not that enigmatic heartbreaker who hops around strangers beds as if to live that classic Rock ‘n Roll lifestyle you see on TV. Rather, he’s shown himself to be the most caring man you’ve ever been with.

And that’s how you found yourself in this position, your body awkwardly positioned on your side in the rear seat of his car. A hand tangled on his hair while the other pulls at his Bowie shirt, you know your lips are probably starting to get swollen and his are taking a raspberry tone from the way they’d been sucking at one another. So with that in mind, you part from his mouth, trailing kisses along his cheek, and a final one at his nose before sitting back on the seat.

Just as you predicted his rose-colored lips are plump as he grins back at you, his locks are wild on top of his head. His hair has grown around his jawline now, curls poking out in all directions and you can’t help but reach your hand to pull his fringe back from his forehead. His smile growing fondly and eyes fluttering shut as you run your hand through his strands. 

When you pull away you catch a glimpse of your wrist clock, cringing slightly at yourself as you realize you should start thinking of heading home.

“I have to go soon.” You let your hand fall to your lap with a sigh.

“Already?” He pouts. “Barely had any time together.”

“We’ve been here for two hours, silly.” You giggle at his dramatics, leaning to press your lips on his chin.

He throws an arm over your shoulder, keeping you close. “Exactly, barely any time.”

He turns his head to connect your mouths once more before pulling you against him so your head rests on his shoulder. You look beyond the glass of the windshield to the nearly empty street -- saving from a few people walking back from what you assume is a day of work

He’s parked on the usual spot two blocks away from your house, and from this angle, you can see the front gate that leads to the entrance. The front seat of the coupe still folded forward as there was no reason to set it back to place considering the circumstance in which you were on the backseat. You had called home from the payphone in front of the library, letting Lena know you’d be home late to catch up with some studies -- another lie to your pile.

There’s a comfortable silence that falls between the two of you -- apart from the low voice of the radio Dj interrupting A-ha’s Take On Me in the background. If you move your head just right you can hear his speeding heartbeat, and if wasn’t for the faltering on his breathing you’d assume he was just as relaxed as you are. You move away from him, his arm falling around your waist, looking at his profile as he pokes at his jeans, a crease between his eyebrows.

You rest your cheek against the leather seat, grasping his chin with your fingers and gently moving his head so his gaze meets yours. “What’s on your mind, handsome?”

He breathes out a laugh, shrugging lightly as he brings his hand to scratch at the tip of his nose. “Nothing much.”

“But there’s something.” You insist, being able to tell he’s pondering over something.

“It’s just-- I just thought--” he pauses with a sigh. You play with the rings on his fingers, waiting patiently for him to express his thoughts, you can tell he’s a bit nervous which is an adorable change from his regular charming demeanor. “I wanted to maybe-- like, we could have a date.”

. 

You straighten your posture, lips parting as you take in his words. “A date?”

“Yeah… A proper one, you know?” He shrugs, eyes darting back on yours. “If you want to, that is! Don’t wanna pressure you or anything.”

“I do, H.” You nod, chewing on your lip as you try to recollect your thoughts. It’s not as if you don’t want to go on a date with him, that couldn’t be further from the truth. But turning it into a formality just changes completely the scheme of things and, as much as you felt like this is an inevitable step to take at some point, you still feel protective to an extent of this secret you have between the two of you. So you can help but let your voice come a little apologetic, “it’s just--”

“I know.” His shoulders drop and you can’t help but feel a tug at your heart.

“Hey.” You caress his cheek. “I’ll think about it, okay?”

“Okay.” His lips perk up in a small smile, and you lean forward to give him a peck.

He’s still looking at you with puppy-like eyes and it does nothing to help the heaviness in your heart from turning him down. You lean again this time to spread kisses around his cheek as an attempt to pull a giggle out of him, but you only earn a light chuckle so you seat back tilting your head to look at him with a pluck of your lips. “C’mon where’s my smug rockstar gone?”

“He’s right here.” The shadow of his dimples appears on his cheeks. His voice comes out low and gentle, as if he’s still pondering over what you said earlier, “just toned him down a bit.”

You sigh, trying to rack your brain to another subject that can distract him from it. You catch sight of the slightly smudged end of his eyeliner, and your face lights up as you remember a request you’ve always wanted to bring it up. “Do you want to know something?” Biting back a cheeky grin, you cross your arms under your chin as he looks at you with raised eyebrows. “Should let me do your makeup, so you can be a proper rockstar.”

He lets out a laugh. “Do I need that, now?”

“Mhm, said it yourself, it’s part of the look.”

“Did I say that?” You nod, teeth still biting on your lip. He lets out a breath, contemplating the idea for a second before looking back at you. “Okay then.”

“Is that a yes?”

“Course, could never say no to you even if I tried.” He lets his hand fall on your thigh, rubbing it gently. “On one condition, though.” You arch your brows in question. “Come to my gig tomorrow.”

You face scrunches in confusion. “I always go to your gigs.”

“Yeah but I mean go earlier, like so we can hang out before and stuff.” His finger starts to draw circles on your knee. “So you can do my makeup, too, can go on stage looking all pretty.”

“As if you could ever look anything less than pretty.” You say before sitting back, thinking of his proposal. “You’re asking me to be there early…”

“What? D’you have plans already? Got a boyfriend I don’t know about?” And there it is, the teasing Harry you know.

You shake your head, poking his side playfully. “Oh yeah, maybe I should’ve mentioned him sooner.”

“Shut up.” He rolls his eyes before looking at you, his voice coming down to a pleading tone. “Come, please.”

Before the yes can roll off your tongue you remember that you wouldn’t be alone with him. “What about your band?” 

He furrows his brows. “What about them?”

“Well, do they know?”

“They couldn’t care less about us, baby.” He sighs, head falling back on the seat as he moves his hand so it rests on your inner thigh, rubbing a spot in there. “Have no meaning hiding you.”

You can’t hold back the smile that grows on your lips, leaning to press a kiss to his mouth before letting professing in just above a whisper, “You always know what to say, don’t you?”

                                 ❁         ❁        ❁ 

“‘S poking my eye.”

“Shh, quiet.”

“You’re rubbing it too harsh.” Harry grabs your wrist, eyes fluttering open to stare up at you.

“I’m being gentle, you’re just not used to the feeling of the brush.” You argue, keeping a finger under his chin so his head is tilted upwards as you shuffle on his lap. “Now close your eyes, I’m almost done.”

He lets out a huff, trying to feign annoyance, but the slight twitch of his lips and the subtle appearance of his dimples break his facade. You know as much as he won’t admit to it, he’s quite enjoying having you propped on his lap, fingers stroking gently his eyelids while you hum along to The Cure’s record that’s mixing with the murmurs of the other people in the room.

To your surprise, you’ve come to realize that the dressing room is significantly less chaotic when it comes to Harry’s band. The place is not nearly as packed as it can get during your nights, in fact, apart from the band itself, there’s only a handful of people hanging around. And as much as you notice their bloated pupils and stumbled walks, they mostly keep it to themselves, sharing around a bottle of vodka to wash down their pills.

Like Harry had assured you, his bandmates couldn’t be less bothered by your presence amongst them. And as much as you recognize all from the numerous gig you’ve been in before, and that according to them your name has been frequently mentioned by Harry himself (which did make his cheeks turn into an adorable shade of red), it’s nice to be formally introduced to them. In fact, they were so quick to treat you as one of their own that you could feel a slightly guilty feeling expanding on your chest from the number of times you’d heard your friends bad mouthing them in attempts to joke around. 

You swallowed the feeling back, though, accepting a plastic cup they poured with champagne (which you learned is a tradition before gigs) and making a conversation.

“Are you done yet?” You feel the vibration of his voice on that back of your fingers that touch against his throat.

“Yes,” you say with a final stroke of your brush on his eyes, sitting back to admire your work with your teeth carved on your bottom lip. “You can open your eyes, baby.”

He blinks his eyes open and you can’t help the smile that breaks through your lips as you examine the contrast of the burning red eyeshadow with his jade irises as he looks back at you. “How do I look?” 

You grab his cheeks, leaning down to press a quick peck on his lips. “Like a proper rockstar.”

“Yeah?” He grins once you let your hands caress on the smooth skin of his chest poking through his unbuttoned blue blouse. “Think I can finally get some groupies now?”

Scoffing, you swing your hand to shove him back playfully with a roll of your eyes. You try to move away but he grabs hold of your wrists, pulling you in again. “You’re insufferable.”

“Just how you like it.” His hands fall to your waist, bringing it closer as you let your arms wrap around his shoulders. 

His lips meet your on a slow kiss, allowing you to taste the strawberry flavor of the lipstick you’d applied earlier, the thought of messing it completely lost in your mind as you tilt your head to deepen it even more. His fingers now grip on your hips over your denim skirt that has ridden up considerably since you first propped yourself on his lap. For a moment you just stay like this, tangled on each other’s arms, every so often you scratch on his neck, pulling his hair just a bit so you can swallow the most delicious mewls.

He parts from you as slowly as the kiss started, pecking on your lips a couple of times before letting his head fall back, hands moving to rub at your thighs over your pink tights. His eyes are hooded as he looks up at you with a smirk, voice coming low as if he’s sharing a secret just between the two of you, “can we go to the back?”

“Sure.” You unstranddle him, adjusting your skirt as you stand up and offering your hands to help him to his feet. He takes them, almost bringing you back down on the couch as he pulls a little bit too hard. 

Once he’s up he takes a look at himself on the mirror in the wall opposite to the couch, a pleased smile on his face letting you know he likes the result of your work. He reaches for your hand then, guiding you into the hallway and out the back door you’ve become so familiar with.

Walking into the alleyway, he walks to his usual spot, leaning back on the wall and pulling you with him. His hands easily find their place on your waist once again, fingers tapping against the fabric of your skirt anxiously. Looking down at you, there’s anticipation on his eyes, as if he’s trying to tell you something but is waiting for you to bring it up.

“So,” he begins, eyes darting around as he parts his legs a bit, enough to fit you between them as he pulls you closer.

“So…” You say, drifting off as a way to encourage him to keep going.

“I’ve thought about the date thing.”

You wrap your arms around his neck, playing with the ends of his har. “Wasn’t I the one that was supposed to be doing that?”

 He shrugs slightly, looking down to where his fingers fiddle with a loose strand of your vest. There’s something very endearing about seeing him so nervous, a complete opposite to how he carries himself in public, as this cocky and confident guy. You’re grateful that he allows you to see this side of him, though, bringing your hand to caress his jawline as you wait him to speak his thoughts. “Yeah, but I had like, an idea, or whatever.”

“Do tell.”

“I thought we could do--” he shakes his head a bit. “We could go to a place that’s still more reserved, and stuff.” 

“Like?”

“I dunno, I--” he chews on his lip, a habit he’s starting to get from you. “Thought we could go to my flat and like hang out, we could go to that diner that has a drive tru and get something to eat and go back to my place.” 

“Are you trying to take me home, Styles?” You tease, not being able to hold back a smile.

“It’s not like that, I just--” he huffs, cheeks getting a bit flushed as he tries to explain himself. “Just if you’re comfortable with it, of course, we can still go around on my car if you prefer, I don’t mind.”

“Harry?” You hold his cheek, moving it so his eyes can meet yours. Rubbing your thumb against his smooth skin, you try to soothe him, shooting him a fond smile.  “I think that’s a really nice idea.”

“Yeah?” You don’t miss the way his eyes light up. “Is that a yes, then?”

“Of course.”

“Cool, I can, like, call you before I leave home so you can go to our spot and I can pick you up, yeah?” It’s the fastest he’s speaking since the moment you walked out of the building, voice a pitch higher. “How about Friday?

“Great.” You giggle, tangling your fingers on his hair to pull him down so his forehead rests against yours. Lips brushing, you blink up at him, jade eyes flickering around your face, “I can’t wait.”

He smiles. “Me too.”

                                 ❁         ❁        ❁

An annoyed puff leaves your lips as you notice another typo in one of the words inked in the paper poking out of the typewriter. You grab it maybe a bit too forcefully, this being the fourth time in a matter of minutes you had to do this. Taking it out of the platen, you reach for the whiteout conveniently prompted next to you, carefully correcting the error before putting the paper back on the machine.

With the end of the term peeking around the corner, you’ve been finding yourself in this position more often than not. Either rushing with your essays or grading assignments from your students. No matter what the arrangement is, however, there’s always a guarantee to have a half-empty mug of coffee and a pile of textbooks spattered on your desk. 

This time around is no different, as you lean back on your chair, closing your eyes and rubbing your hands over your face, you try to focus on Cyndi Lauper singing in the background as a way to relieve your stress. You can feel the inkling of a headache deep inside your forehead, indicating maybe it’s time to give yourself a break, So, you try your best to relax the tension out of your muscles, breathing in the soft chamomile scent of the burning candle on your nightstand -- it’s one Lena gave to you to help with the stress a few days ago. What disturbs you from your moment of meditation with Time After Time, making you snap out of your breathing exercise, is the ringing tone of the telephone echoing through the house. The sound comes into your room a bit muffled thanks to your closed door, but it’s still enough to irritate you.

You hear closely to the sounds outside your door, waiting for Lena, who you know is propped on the couch downstairs watching TV, to pick up the call and cease the annoying tune interrupting your moment. And as you predict, in just a few minutes the ringing noise stops as quickly as it started, making you relax back on your chair. Closing your eyes again, you let yourself go back to the moment before the interruption, untensing your shoulders. You can hear the pound of heavy footsteps coming up the wooden staircase, but don’t process them getting closer until your door swings open.

Lena is standing in your doorway with an expression that’s hard to read at first, her brows set on a slight frown her hairline and mouth agape. Before you can tell her off for her sudden entrance she’s already speaking, “can you tell me why the fuck Harry Styles is calling our house looking for you?”

You can feel your heartbeat falter at her words, eyes widening as you glance at your bunny-shaped clock and realizing you had gotten so lost in your studies you forgot about the date. “Shit,” you get up so fast from your chair it falls back on the rug. You turn to Lena, who’s watching the scene with the most amused smirk on her face, “is he still one the line?”

As soon as she nods you’re stumbling down the stairs, almost falling down on the last steps but catching yourself up on the railing. You reach for the wired phone lying upwards on the hallway stand, picking it up and walking into the closest door - which happens to be the coat closet - closing it behind you.

“Hello?” You sound out of breath, heartbeat roaring in your ear.

“Did I fuck it up?” His voice is hesitant, nearly remorseful, it makes your heart drop.

“I-- no, you didn’t.” You reassure, leaning back on the wall of the tiny space, instantly regretting your decision of not choosing the restroom in your panic state.  “I just got caught up with an essay and didn’t see the time passing.”

“Do you want to reschedule?” He drags out the words as if he doesn’t want to say them. “We can do this another day, I don’t mind.”

“No!” You protest quickly, reaching back to roughly adjust a hanger that’s poking on your neck, causing a raincoat to fall on your feet. “Of course not, I really need a break, anyway. I want to see you.”

“Want to see you, too.” You can hear the smile on his voice. “What about your friend?”

You sigh, rubbing your temple slightly. “I’ll talk to her, don’t worry about it.”

“Okay.” He says. “I’ll be at yours in around fifteen, is that good?”

“That’s perfect, yes.”

“I’ll see you in a bit then…” He drifts off, as if he wants to say something else, but stops himself.

“See you.”

The familiar sound of the deadline takes place and you sigh, letting your head fall back on the wall with a thump and staying like that for a moment. When you step out of the closet, the first thing you see is Lena leaning against the railing of the stairs, shaking her head at you in disbelief. “You bitch.”

Your shoulders drop, not wanting to have this conversation right now, as you put the phone back on the base. “Can we not do this--”

“You’ve been fucking him all this time and you didn’t tell me?” She crosses her arms under her breasts. “Abbey is gonna throw a fit when she knows this.”

“You’re not gonna tell her.”

“I’m not.” She agrees with you. “But she already knows you’re sneaking out with someone.”

“She does?” Your voice gets higher, eyes widening slightly.

“She might be high as a kite most of the time, yes, but she’s not stupid.” She chuckles. “And you’re not the best at hiding either, or you thought we wouldn’t notice you’re barely at home anymore?”

You frown your mouth, feeling like a deer caught in the headlights. “Does she suspect that it’s him?”

“Not really no, thought it was one of your students.”

You can’t help the horrified look that takes over your face. “I tutor children!”

“Ooh,” she breathes out a laugh. “Well, to be fair, he’s probably the last person she would suspect.”

“She’s gonna kill me.”

“Probably.” She shrugs. “But she’ll just have to get over it.”

“I guess.”

Lena looks at you, dropping her arms as she walks to you. Holding into your shoulders, her expression softens. “Don’t worry about this right now, okay? Go get ready for your date.”

“You’re right.”  You sigh, nodding. It takes you a second, but as you process her words, you frown, squinting your eyes at her. “How do you know we have a date right now?”

Her hands drop, mouth scrunching as she waves her hands around. “I just guessed.”

“Were you listening on the line?’

“Of course not!” She steps away.

“Adeline!”

She backs away, reaching the bottom of the stairs with the guiltiest look you’ve ever seen splattered on her face. “It was just a bit of it! I was curious!”

You shake your head in disbelief. “I’m gonna cut the cord of that phone in your room.”

“No, you’re not.” 

Raising your eyebrows in challenge, you take a careful step in her direction, causing her to go up another step. There’s a beat of silence where you two just stare at each other, waiting for the other to make the first move. When you finally give in, racing towards the staircase, she stumbles up the rest of the steps, the sound of your giggles mixing together taking over the space.

                                 ❁         ❁        ❁

There’s an instant sense of comfort when you see Harry’s lime green Ford parked on your usual spot, one that gives an extra pep to your walk, pushing all the stress you’ve been dwelling with to the back of your mind. And as you relax into the leather seat, windows down and radio up, you let yourself enjoy the anticipation of spending the rest of your day with him that settles deep in your stomach. 

You’d always wondered what Harry’s apartment would look like, imagining his LP’s splattered across the place, along with loose papers filled with guitar riffs and song lyrics. Maybe a couple of plants here and there, from what he told you he had tried to take care of one or two before, but always ended up forgetting to water them on schedule. And there’s also a notion inside of you that two young men living together in an apartment are bound to live in somewhat of a nest, so you brace yourself for the piles of beer cans and video game wires tangling on the floor.

When he opens the front door for you, letting you walk in before him, it does surprise you to find a tidier place than you’d expected his living room to be, but you realize you’d not been much far off with your assumption. It’s clear this is a house of musicians from the second you step in, the first sight being two guitars leaning on the wall next to the mud green couch, surrounded by - you guessed it - loose papers, which you assume are filled with scribbled ideas. A wall piano also stands out across the room, a single ashtray standing on top of it next to two candles, where you assume comes the faint scent of vanilla comes from.

“Sorry about the mess,” Harry speaks out from behind you, shrugging out of his usual denim jacket and throwing it over the couch arm, looking back at you with his hands on his hips.

“It’s alright.” Your teeth sink on your bottom lip as you take in the sight of him. Without his jacket, he’s left with just a wine-colored half-buttoned blouse, sleeves rolled up to his elbows so some of his tattoos are exposed. Part of the hem is tucked inside his low waist jeans that hug his thighs so perfectly it makes you want to grip your nails on it. Shaking your head, lightly, you let your eyes wander around the room once more, so he doesn’t notice you gawking at him. “Was expecting worse, to be honest.”

“Do you think that little of me?” He feigns offense.

You giggle, taking a lazy step towards him, shrugging. “I just don’t expect two young men to know the basic of cleaning, that’s all.”

“That’s fair,” he chuckles, taking a moment to just look at you. When a silence settles between the two of you, you raise your brows at him, waiting for him to make the first move. He clears his throat, running his hand through his hair. “Do you want anything to drink?”

“Sure!” You nod. “Do you have, like, beer or…”

“Yes, yes I--” he stops, face lighting up in realization. “No wait, I have something better.” He strides towards a door to where you assume the kitchen is, calling over his shoulder, “make yourself comfortable, I’ll be right back!”

You laugh to yourself, shaking your head as you pull your purse off your shoulder, letting it rest beside Harry’s jacket on the couch. Glancing over your shoulder, there are no signs of him coming back, so you take the opportunity to snoop around the area. 

There’s a small center table in front of the couch, probably the messiest part of the room so far, a few movie magazines splattered around with another ashtray lying on top of it, a few butts of cigarettes long forgotten along with their ashes. Next to it, is a VHS cover of </i> Ghostbusters, a rental receipt paper scrambled on top of it. What calls your attention is a couple of cassette tapes, some with titles you recognize from being Harry’s songs scribbled on top of them but others don’t have a label, which leads you to assume they must be blank. 

You walk around the table, gazing to the tv stand, where a poster of Freud is stuck on the wall behind it -- and breathing out a laugh as you notice someone had drawn glasses and colored his beard with a red sharpie. A bookshelf stands next to it, completely filled with records (apart from a single succulent that has a piece of paper with the name “Ziggy” glued to it). Your curiosity gets the best of you, picking up some LPs on random and what does surprise you, is the lack of a common theme between them. Finding a bit of everything, from some very recognizable names you’ve seen Harry rock to, like Billy Joel and The Clash, to some you’d never even heard him speak of like Culture Club and even a brand new Madonna record.

You have just picked up the cover of Ladies of the Canyon when his voice startles you from behind. “Mitchell, huh?”

Turning back with the record still in hands, you look down at it. “I love her.” You glance up, taking notice of the glasses in his hand, filled with a liquid of a yellow so bright it reminds you of a highlighter. “What’s this?”

“This,” he hands you a glass. “Is a drink we made.”

You raise your eyebrows at him. “You made this?”

 “I’m a man of many talents, bunny.”

“It looks like poison.” You bring the glass up to your nostrils, taking in the strong scent of alcohol. “Am I going to be poisoned? Is this a big plan to get rid of your rival’s bassist?”

“Stop being silly.” He rolls his eyes. “It’s mainly pineapple and vodka, takes weeks to be done, proper fancy stuff, you know?”

“Oh yeah super fancy.” You tease, chewing on your bottom lip to hold back a smile.“Pineapple and vodka.”

“Shut up and drink it.” He says, watching you carefully as you slowly bring the brim of the glass to your lips, taking a small sip of it. An instant sweet taste of pineapple invading your tastebuds, but the vodka is so present it makes you scrunch your nose. Harry gives you a small smile, eyes trained on you as he waits for your verdict, “so…”

“It’s strong.” Your face is still a bit rumpled from the alcohol, but you relax it eventually taking another sip of it, this time quite more prepared for it. “But it’s good, tastes like pineapple and vodka, who would say?”

“Shut up.” He chuckles, taking a step back and propping himself down on the couch.

With the record still in hands, you turn to put it back where you found it, admiring the full bookshelf once more. “Got a nice collection here, Styles, I gotta admit.”

He sips on his drink. “Found something you fancy in there?”

“A couple.”

“Put on something you like.” He motions to the record player standing next to the shelf. You look through the vast collection again, picking some at random and putting it back once you realize it’s not what you’re looking for. After going through a few, you finally stumble upon Elton John’ Madman Across The Water, holding it up to show it to Harry. “Oh, so we’re in one of those moods?”

You pull the vinyl from the sleeve, carefully placing it on the player and adjusting the needle over it. As the beginning note of Tiny Dancer float through the room, you look back at him. “What mood?”

 “Like, a happy-sad kind of mood.”

You nod, setting yourself on the couch next to him. “That’s a nice way to put it.”

As the first few songs swim in the air around there’s a light chatter that settles between the two of you. Nothing out of your ordinary conversations, mainly consisting of you gushing over John Taylor as Harry rolls his eyes and sips on his drink to mask the drop of jealousy that grows on his chest -- “He’s not that good looking, you lot should have better standards” he said with a huff, making you giggle at his antics and pinch his cheeks. But it doesn’t take long, barely going halfway through the record, until the two of you begin to feel more lightheaded, eyes glossy and tongues getting looser. You should’ve expected that from the very first sip of the drink in your hand, knowing it wouldn’t take much more than a glass of it to get you right boozed up. And it doesn’t help that which each sip of it the sweetness of the pineapple takes over the strong taste of the alcohol, and in a matter of a few songs, you already feel your mind soaring away.

Harry is not much different, you realize, becoming quite a bit of a giggly drunk as he looks at you through half-lidded eyes and slurred words coming out of his mouth (which only makes him laugh more at himself). From what he told you, it hasn’t been the first time he and Mitch attempted on making the drink themselves. They tried it at a cramped bar right outside a Tears For Fears concert and it had gotten them so knackered so quickly they went back the next day to ask the barman (who also happened to be the owner) what was it in. Turns out it was just watermelon and vodka, but the man also explained that the technique he used that took about two weeks for the drink to be ready. From the man’s explanation, it seemed simple enough so they decided to try it for themselves, except they replaced the watermelon with pineapple.

“Just to add a bit of fun to it.” He shimmies his body.

“Is it like the original, though?” 

“‘S close, but not quite his.” He hiccups. “I’m convinced he left out some of the details, the bastard, didn’t want to go around giving out the secret formula of it.”

You giggle, biting into the brim of your glass. “I’m curious to try it with watermelon, now that you’ve mentioned.”

“You have to, bunny!” His head falls back on the couch, dimples so deep you want to bite into them, his hand strokes lazily on your thigh, every now and then moving up to rub at the hem of your playsuit. “I’ll take you there sometime, we can get baked and crash into a concert at the music house that’s right in front of it.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

When the blue of the sky outside begins to fade into a golden glow, ribbons of pink and orange cutting through it, you’re already completely far gone. The record player is now only letting out a faint buzz from the lack of sound now that the LP is over. Your head is filled with clouds and you don’t register when Harry reaches back for the guitar, only really registering it once he’s stringing out a familiar melody. He stumbles with the lyrics but as soon as you recognize the beginning line of </i> Big Yellow Taxi you’re joining him, your voices tangling in a high pitch as you more of scream the lines than really bother to sing it. Harry gets completely lost in it, and you let him take over every so often just to watch him, mimicking Joni Mitchell's voice and even enacting her laugh, which makes you laugh until your belly hurts and your cheeks get flushed.

It’s one of those moments you want to get locked in, to live in it forever. Watching him stumbling the lyrics of different songs, the words tumbling out of his mouth between giggles, fingers stroking the cord of the guitar maybe a bit too harshly as you join him without a care in the world to who may be bothered by it. You feel so free with him, it’s a feeling that takes over your whole body, a warmth of knowing you don’t have to filter yourself or fit any type of expectation. And as he ends another cover with violent strokes on the guitar you laugh along with him for a moment before letting the room quiet down. Crossing your arms over the back of the couch and resting your cheek against it, you just look at him.

His bloodshot green meets yours, his chest rising as he catches his breath from the frantic songs, teeth sinking on his bottom lip as he smiles at you. “Gonna slow down a bit fo’ you.”

You raise your brows at him, smiling in anticipation as he begins to smooth his fingers through the cords much more gently than he had been previously. His head moves along to the beat as he gazes down at the instrument, a slight crease forming between his eyebrows in concentration. It’s a complete contrast from the playful demeanor that had taken over the room just minutes ago.

“Love of my life, you’ve hurt me.” He begins, and your ears instantly perk up as you identify the same song you’d heard him play months ago at the pub, the one that made you enter it to watch him for the first time. “You’ve broken my heart and now you leave me.”

It’s much different now, however, not just from the fact that he’s singing it on his own without the band backing him up. But it’s the meaning behind it, the rawness of his voice, low and slightly raspy, the words still come out a bit mumbled but you couldn’t care less about it, only focusing on the emotion he puts to them. 

“Love of my life, can’t you see?” His eyes are still set on the guitar and you search for them almost desperately, shifting closer to him and cupping his cheek, guiding him to meet your gaze. “Bring it back, bring it back, don’t take it away from me.”

The swell in your heart is overwhelming to an extent, his glossy eyes looking into your with such sincerity it makes you want to jump on him, but you hold back as he keeps going, feeling nearly hypnotized by his voice.

“Because you don’t know, what it means to me.” He leans into your touch, turning to press a quick kiss on your palm as he keeps stroking the chords in a quiet melody. “Love of my life, don’t leave me.”

You can’t help but shake your head slightly as he sings the lyric almost like a plea. “You’ve stolen my love, and now desert me.” He looks back down at the guitar, letting your hand fall to his shoulder. “Love of my life, can’t you see?”

“Bring it back, bring it back, don’t take it away from me.” Peeking under his lashes, he grins up at you, and you can only imagine how you must look to him. Mouth slightly agape, barely blinking as you’re scared if you do this will all turn out to be nothing but a dream. His voice comes out next a bit lower, stretching out the words, “Because you don’t knoow.”

He strokes the chords a bit mindlessly now, playing with the sound of the melody, and he does it so effortlessly you almost hold your breath as not to miss it. “What it means to me.”

When he stops, you don’t really think before latching yourself on him, throwing one leg on each side of his thighs, and cupping his face before meeting his mouth with yours. He immediately wraps an arm around your back, his other hand taking the guitar off his lap and blindly placing it against the wall next to the couch. Once the instrument is no longer a barrier, he places his hands on your hips, pulling you closer. You can taste the memory of a pineapple still lingering on his tongue as you lick into his mouth. The kiss is hungry, maybe a bit sloppy thanks to the substance still very much present in your bloodstreams, but you don’t mind, only moving a hand to tangle on his hair, scratching at his scalp before pulling at his roots. 

A whimper escapes from his mouth, getting lost inside your throat, his grip on your thighs tightens, nails digging in it and you know will leave crescent shapes on your skin. It only makes you do it again, this time his head tilting backward with a small groan, disconnecting your lips, but you’re soon to connect it again, splattering kisses along his jawline until it meets his neck. When you suck on his pulse point, running your tongue over it, his skin vibrates on your lips as he lets out a whine. His hands are now running all over your thighs before resting on top of your ass, bringing your hips to grind against his.

Even with your hazed mind, it’s still hard to miss the very prominent bulge under his jeans. It makes you pull back, looking down to see it straining against his zipper. There’s a flip of a switch inside of you when you realize how much he’s yearning for it, it’s the desire you’ve been pushing back for months now, crashing into you like a wave and you can barely contain a small mewl at the sight.

“Bunny.” He breathes out. When you look back to him, you notice his eyes have darkened considerably. “We don’t have to--”

“Please.” You let your forehead fall against his, rolling your hips again, stealing another whimper from him. “If you want to, I want to.”

“I do -- fuck, I do.” He nods as you keep grinding on him, his hand disappearing on your back pocket, trying to get as closer to you as possible.

When you meet his lips again, the kiss is somehow eager than before. The longing is evident as you grab onto each other. Your hands travel down his chest, nails digging softly on his exposed skin, and once you feel the fabric of his shirt, you’re quickly to undo the rest of the buttons, not disconnecting from him as you do so. Smoothing your hands back up to his shoulders, you help him shrug off the material, letting it fall to the couch without paying mind to it.

“Wait,” he sneaks between kisses, hands coming up to your waist you push you off gently.

You watch with your brows narrowed as he gets up from the couch, walking to his shelf and standing in front of it, looking for something. Leaning to your side, you let yourself admire the muscles of his back as his fingers run through the edges of the records. It’s impressive how even though his collection takes over the whole furniture, he still seems to know exactly where to look for it, focusing on a small section right at the top. He quickly finds what he’s looking for, pulling it with a ‘Aha!’ before turning back to you. 

He holds up a very familiar black cover, the imprint of Queen’s Greatest Hits instantly calling your attention. Doing the same as you’d done earlier, he takes out the disk, placing it on the player before adjusting the needle over it. You watch it with a smile teasing on your lips, finding oddly endearing how he made you pull away from him with the sole purpose of putting on a soundtrack -- making notice to put on something you’d like, as well. He cranks up the volume as the first words of Bohemian Rhapsody start to swallow your thoughts, turning back to you and offering his hand with a cheeky grin painted on his face.

Taking his hold, you let him pull you up from the couch and, before you can really register it, he’s guiding you through the hallway. You stumble on your footing as he rushes a bit to fast for you to really wrap your head around it, the walls of the corridor passing by almost in a blur as it takes your mind a beat too long to catch up with your eyes. Still, your giggles dance along with his all the way to his door at the end of it, making you feel like a couple of teens sneaking out for the first time.

He doesn’t give you a single minute to take notice of his room -- not that you would at this moment, your arousal pooling at your underwear only enhancing the haziness of your mind. In just a speck of a second, he’s already pushing the door closed, your body being pressed against it not long after. His arms find their place on each side of your head, his lips searching hungrily for yours as your fingers find their home between the strands of his hair once more. 

“Shit, need you so bad, baby.” he presses his hips against yours, mouth hot as he sucks in the skin of your jaw, all the way down your neck, finding a spot that makes you whine under his touch. “That’s it, darling, let me hear you again.”

“Harry,” you mewl as his teeth sink on your skin gently, his tongue swiping quickly over the spot before he trails back to your cheek. You melt under his touch when his hands find their way back on your body, one of them caressing the side of your breast softly, thumb poking out to rub the spot where you nipple pebbles under your layers of clothing. This brings out a desperate whimper from your throat, your head falling back on the door as you close your eyes, trying to savor every slight touch of his. “Please.”

“Look so fucking pretty in this piece, bunny.” The sound of his voice is right below your ear, his warm breath hitting your skin making the hairs on your neck rise. “Look gorgeous in anythin”” he turns his head to bite at your earlobe. “But I really need it gone right now.”

Your eyes snapback open when you feel him pull back from you, his hands finding the front buttons of your playsuit, fiddling them open so easily you barely register it. His lips are back on yours, this time slower, letting his desire be known at every brush of his tongue. Smoothing his hands on your shoulders, he helps you out of the sleeves of the top. As soon as your back is disconnected from the wooden door, you start moving forward before you can really think about it, pushing him back gently until the back of his knees hit the mattress and he’s sitting back on the bed.

There’s hardly a speck of green left on his darkened irises when he looks up at you, watching your every move as you shift the material down your body, letting it pool on your feet before you kick it to the side. Taking a slow step towards him, his hands holding onto your hips almost unconsciously, you reach back to find the hook of your bra, but he stops you before you can even quite grasp it. “Wait,” he pulls you closer, making you fall a bit awkwardly on his lap, your hands moving to grip on his shoulder for support. “Let me.”

You adjust your position on top of him, your knees resting next to his thighs, as he handily unhooks your bra, removing it quickly from your arms and tossing it to the side. A gasp escapes your mouth as he wastes no time before attaching his mouth to your breast, tongue circling on your nipple before sucking in. His hand tries to give the same attention to the other one, grasping onto it as his thumb caresses the pebbled nub.

The crescendo of the song comes muffled in the background and it’s as if it’s echoing inside your head while you mindlessly roll your hips against his. The motion makes the lining of his zipper rub deliciously against your clit under the thin fabric of your underwear, and it reminds you of his hardening length pressing on his jeans. It seems to remind him as well, as his mouth parts from your chest in a groan, his lips licking at the space between your breast, kissing all the way back to your neck, where he hides his face with a strangled moan when you grind down a bit harder.

“Can’t take the tease, baby.” He pants. “Need you right fucking now.”

You pull back from him, gazing down at the tent on his pants and bringing your hands to fiddle with his belt. It takes you a bit longer to manage to pull it out, as his eager lips attack your neck once again. At this point, you can only imagine the marks he’s made on your skin, knowing the reddened spots will soon come to a purple shade, but it’s the least of your worries as you pop the button of his jeans, opening up the zipper. 

“Stand up just for a sec, darling.” He taps on your hip and you do as he asks, stepping back to plant your feet on the floor.

He shifts out of his pants, bringing his briefs along with it and you watch the way his cock all but jumps out of its restrains, slapping back on his stomach. The tip is a reddened shade darker, a trace of precum already oozing out of it, dripping down his length and making you rub your thighs for some sort of relief as you feel your mouth watering. You want to reach for it, grasp it as you feel it throb on your palm. You want to trace the prominent veins adorning it with your tongue and discover all the sounds he makes when he’s all but begging for you to wrap you mouth around it already. But more than anything, and what speaks louder to you at the moment, is how you want to feel it deep in your belly, rubbing against your walls until your legs shake.

“My eyes are up here, love.” You look up at him, a smug grin on his face as he draws you in by your hips.

“Can’t help it.” You watch his fingers play with the waistband of your cherry colored underwear, meeting his eyes as you let yourself mess with him a bit. “Just have such a beautiful cock.”

“Christ.” He groans, yanking your panties down your leg, making your arousal drip down your thighs. His lips immediately trace on your pubic bone, hands travelling to grip on your ass as his teeth sink into your skin slowly. “Didn’t know you were this filthy, bunny.”

You enlace your fingers on his strands, pushing his fringe away from his forehead as you mount him again. “Only for you.”

“All for me? What did I do to deserve you?” He smiles, pecking your lips and pulling your closer so you can feel his cock poking at your stomach. “Why don’t you lie down for me?”

You shake your head, pushing his shoulders back gently until his back hits the mattress. “You lie down.”

“Shit, baby, gonna sit on my cock?” He shifts back just slightly, watching you sit back on his thigh as you grab his length, giving it an experimental pump that makes his breath audibly hitch. “Fuck-- such a good girl, aren’t ya?”

You chew on your bottom lip, flickering your palm over the tip and collecting a bit of the precum before rubbing it once more. He lets out a strangled moan, head tilting back on the mattress, his curls splattered around him like a halo. Which is an ironical contrast to what you’re doing to him. 

His voice comes out in a breathy, chest moving frantically as he peeks down at you when you give him another slow pump. “Please, darling, don’t torture me right now, need you so bad.”

If it were another occasion you wouldn’t listen to him, simply continuing your teasing as if he hadn’t said anything at all. But right now you can feel your wetness pooling where you sit on his thigh as you all but throb for him at the sight of his angry cock in your hand. It’s just as much torture to you as it is to him to keep this going any longer, so you just shift up, gabbing his base and rubbing it along your folds one, two, three times, before finally aligning it with your entrance.

His nails dig on your thighs in anticipation, his eyes watching with barely a blink as you slowly sink down. Your mouth hangs open but nothing except a choked gasp comes out of it. There’s a delicious burn that comes with him slowly spreading you open for him, and when you fully sit down your eyes are teary and can’t help but clench around him, earning a full moan in response.

“So fucking tight.” He pants, chest moving up as he takes a sharp inhale when you clench again. “So wet too, baby, drenching me.”

“Fuck, Harry.” You lean forward, hands lying on each side of his torso as you pull up the tiniest bit just to sink down again.

You want to start slow, gradually fastening your pace but you can’t seem to hold yourself back. As his hands grasp on your hips you start to bounce on him at a hard pace, your moans meshing together as well as the faint vocals blasting outside the closed door. Rolling your hips on his, he hits spot that makes you sit on your heels again as you throw your head back, crying out his name. 

It’s hard to keep focus as you mind is blurry from the pleasure that takes over every cell of your body as well as the alcohol still running freely on your bloodstream. All you can focus on right now is Harry. It’s his hands gripping on your skin, helping you fasten your pace. It’s the sound of his voice pitching on a needy whimper, telling you how good you feel around him. It’s the sight of his face creased in pleasure when you look down at him, the veins staining his neck and his locks sticking to his damp forehead, cheeks rosy and lips plump. He’s the only thing in your mind as you chant his name under your breath like a quiet prayer.

“Is my cock that good, bunny?” He meets your thrusts with his hips, making you sob out a moan. His lips tug on a smirk, “Look at you helping you helping yourself out on my cock -- fuck, look like a proper dream.”

There’s a familiar tightness in your stomach, one that makes your toes curl and your rhythm falters. “I’m almost there, shit.”

“Won’t last much longer too, baby, feel too good.�� He groans holding your hips in place when you stumble on your pace again, deciding to thrust upwards, your pelvis meeting in loud smacks. “Gonna cum for me? Gonna let me see you looking all pretty when you cum all over my cock?”

“Harry, please.” You’re not even sure what you’re asking for, your eyes closing as you roll back your head. A trifling cramp is starting to set on the back of your thighs but you barely pay any mind to it as the bliss takes over your whole body. You’re so close to your high you can almost reach it, just needing a small push.

“C’mon, baby.” Harry urges you, hand reaching where you’re connected to rub at your clit harshly.

And that’s all you needed, opening your eyes as a couple tears fall down your face when you feel your orgasm taking over you body, the white ceiling feeling far away like an imagine you watch on the television. You’re not exactly sure when Killer Queen started playing, but as the waves of euphoria hit your body, you can hear the guitar solo ringing in your ears, the crescendo of the song only enhancing the thrill of your high as you ride your orgasm along with it.

You practically collapse  down on his chest, his hot skin sticking to your body. He’s still panting under you, warm breath hitting your neck as he holds onto your ass, his thrusts coming sloppier as he comes right after you. The sensitivity of your center makes you whine along with his strangled moans when he holds his hips to yours,burying himself in you as he paints your walls white.

For a moment you just stay like this, cheek resting on his chest, the sound of his heartbeat slowing down by the minute blending with the music coming from outside the closed door. His fingertips trace patterns on your bare arm that’s hugging his torso and keeping him close. You can feel your mind getting clearer, not just from the alcohol but from the high of your orgasm. And as the sound of the soft wind knocks against the window glass, you’re almost lulled to sleep just like this. 

Harry shifts slightly, you feel his lips pressing on your head before he carefully moves to sit up, letting you fall back on the bed gently. “Mind if I have a smoke, bunny?”

You give him a lazy smile, shaking your head as you look up at him, reaching for his locks that poke wildly on his head. Leaning down, he gives you a quick peck before getting up. Turning to your side, you watch as he looks around the room, finding his briefs thrown by the end of the bed and quickly putting them back on. He grabs the pack of cigarettes along with his lighter and heads towards the window.

Opening up the window, allowing the evening breeze to slip through the crack and dance around the room, he pulls a chair leaning on the wall to sit directly by it. The chair is stacked with colored cushions on top of it - one yellow, one red, and one blue - he throws two of them thoughtlessly on the floor next to it, adjusting the remaining one on his back as he leans down to sit on it. The stool is low enough so he can relax his feet on it comfortably, fingers fiddling with the lighter for a second before rising it to meet the end of the cigarette resting between his lips. Freddie Mercury still sings loudly in the living room, the sound coming a bit muffled thanks to the closed door, but making it as background noise as you come quiet to admire his figure against the last creeks of sunlight hitting the side of his profile.

You chew on your lip at the scene, wishing you could record it somehow and play it every night before falling asleep. There’s something inherently erotic about having him smoke a cigar just on his underwear, humming along to the tune of the song, right after having you scream his name into his pillow. 

The light streak of wind coming from the window breaks you out of your thoughts, making goosebumps rise on your skin as you come to the realization that you’re still sitting naked in his bed. It doesn’t take long for you to find your panties hanging from the edge of the mattress, picking them up to quickly slide them up your legs before you get up to search for your other articles of clothing. You can see the colorful pattern of your playsuit lying next to the closed door, but as you crouch to pick it up something else catches your attention in the pile of clothes thrown around mindlessly on top of a wooden chest

It’s the pink shirt. The same one he wore on the day you first saw him play.

A grin takes over your face as you pick it up, throwing it over your shoulders and sliding your hand on the sleeves. It has the faint scent of his cologne mixed with the lingering smell of cigarettes, something you’ve come to associate with him. You don’t bother to button up the material, letting it hug your body as you take a quick look at yourself in the full-body mirror leaning on the wall in front of you. You turn to him, his eyes still focused on the view outside, a thin coat of smoke leaving his lips and getting lost in the breeze, so you clear your throat as to get his attention.

He looks at you, eyes shamelessly scanning down your body and you’re afraid the cig will fall from his lips as they grow on a smug smirk. 

“Look at you,” he lets his feet fall from the stool, fixing them on the floor as he motions for you to get close. You approach him without a second thought, climbing on his lap as his hands hold onto your hips. He takes another look at you, grasping the cigarette with his fingers and taking out of his lips. Reaching for your face, his thumb caresses the side of your eyelid gently. “Looking like a proper rockstar now, even got the smudged makeup.”

You giggle. “That’s more your fault than mine.”

“I guess it is.” He taps the butt of the cig on an ashtray prompted on the stool of the window, eyes still trained on you. “Should do it more often then, s’fucking hot.”

You smile at the connotation, picking at the hem of the shirt and gazing at him from under your lashes. “Guess I might be starting to like pink, that’s also your fault.”

“Look way too good in pink not to like it, bunny.”

“Stop that.” You hide your face on the crook of his shoulder.

“Telling the truth.” His free hand grips on your waist, pulling you closer as he tilts his head to kiss at your neck. “Looks good in everything.”

“Could tell you the same thing.” You pull back to look at him, teeth sinking on your bottom lip as you smooth your hands down his bare chest.  “But I do prefer this fit on you, really brings out your eyes.”

“Naughty.”

You lean to connect your lips, hugging him close with your arms wrapped around his neck and enjoying the tender moment as you distribute kisses around his face just to hear him giggle. And when you bring your mouth to his again, you barely feel the softness of his lips before he all but jumps on his skin. You pull back, furrowing your brows, ready to question it but he beats you. “Forgot I got something for you.”

“For me?” You blink. “What is it?”

“Go sit on the bed while I fetch, will be just a minute.” He gives you a quick peck before you’re pulling away.

You do as he asks, sitting back on the bed, right next to the wrinkled spot where you lied just  minutes ago. He walks across the room, opening the door where you came from and disappearing in the hallway. The record is still blasting through the apartment walls, sound coming louder now that there’s no barrier between you.

While he’s gone, you take a moment to look around his room, something you didn’t get a chance to do when you first came in tangled on his arms. It’s not much messier than the living room, really, only the small piles of clothes you’ve spotted earlier that give the illusion of an untidy room. There’s a light wooden dresser that sits next to the chest, and from where you sit you can see two candles standing alone on top of it, similar to the ones on the piano. 

You swing your feet on the edge of the bed, letting them brush along a blue fluffy mat that hugs the floor underneath it. And as you run your hands on along his mattress, you notice the soft superficie, making you look down at a knitted blanket spreaded across the bed. It’s made of different colored squared stuck together in an oddly comforting pattern. You want to lie down on it, and let yourself be swallowed by the cozyness of the material against your skin, but before you can do so, Harry appears back in the room, closing the door behind him as he makes his way to you.

“This blanket is so nice.” You run your hands through it, smiling at him.

“Thanks, I knitted it.” The information makes your eyes bulge out, you open your mouth to inquire further but he’s already talking again. “This is-- uhm, I dunno, just something I thought you’d like it.”

The small box in his hand catches your attention as he hands it to you, his eyes looking down at it and even with just the moonlight illuminating the room you can see the blush on his cheeks. He props himself down on the spot next to you, watching your fingers turn the rectangular box around. It’s a cassette tape case, you quickly realize.

When you gaze at the back of it, there’s names of songs scribbled behind it. Not many, but a good collection of them, from Fleetwood Mac to The Bangles, and even Billy Joel. And it doesn’t take you long to find a pattern with the song chosen for the tape. Their all love songs. It makes your heart swell even more, if that’s even possible at this point.

“These are so cheesy,” you bite your lip, barely able to contain your smile.

He rolls his eyes. “They’re romantic, bunny.”

You keep examining the titles written neatly in his handwriting, raising your brows when you land on a specific one. “Every breath you take?” You tease, “That’s an interesting take on romance.”

“Shut up.” He giggles, eyes watching you carefully. “Do you like it?” His voice is adorably hesitant, it makes your heart stumble on a beat.

“I love it.” You say in just above a whisper, feeling the butterflies in your stomach get a little more vivid once your eyes land on the last song scribbled in the back of the tape. Somebody to Love. Brushing your thumb over the words softly, careful not to smudge the paint, you look up at him to find his green irises glistening at you. You shake your head almost in disbelief at the tenderness behind the gift. “Did you record this just for me?”

“Uhm yeah some of them I did but—” He looks down, focusing on his fingers as they pick a loose string from the blanket under his leg. “Some of them I just... Sang”

“You sang?” It takes you by surprise, how you thought there was no way he could make you feel warmer.

“Yeah… All of them, actually.” His dimples dig deep on his cheeks as he quickly peeks his eyes at you. “It’s just… The quality is shit when you record it from the radio and the dj keeps interrupting and stuff.” He shrugs, “Thought if I sang it could be more, personal? I guess.”

“I love it.” You repeat.

“You do?” 

“I do.” You chew on your lip, watching his eyes glimmering on the dim light of the room. “Is there a reason for this sudden present?”

“Kind of I--” He clears his throat, fully glancing at you. There’s an expectation behind his eyes, you can tell from the way he takes a sharp inhale that he’s nervous. “Thought I make you-- ask you, actually, if you’d be mine?”

You can’t help but giggle at how adorable he looks, your eyes getting a bit glossy as you nod without a blink of a thought. “Of course I’m yours, Harry.”

“Yeah?” His smile grows. “As like, m’girlfriend?”

Throwing your arms around him, you press your lips against his cheek, careful not to drop the tape in your hand still. You pull back, tilting your head as giving him a fond smile. “As in your girlfriend, yes.”

[chaosangel767]

Paperwork or Beach Day

Prompt: Bonded by a bikini top & Blowjobs on the Beach 

Type of One-shot: NSFW - 

Pairing: Sirius x Jazlynn Armstrong (OC) 

Warnings: light bondage, blow jobs, semi public sex  

WC: 1158

@voltage-vixen Summer of Smut Challenge Day 3: Bonded by a bikini top and Day 8: Blowjobs on the Beach

“Mama” I hear one of my twins giggling and I look over to see Fenrir and Seth helping Alistar bury Ray under the sand. He waves at me with a huge smile when he notices me watching.

“ I see you Ali” I call to him and he laughs, patting the sand that Ray is buried under. Only the King of Spades head is free and above sand. I chuckle at the image and look over near the water where my second baby Aaliyah is playing with Luka, chasing the waves. He has her hands firmly in his and is running with her to escape from being wet. 

“Brats” Sirius mutters under his breath, causing me to chuckle. I look over at him and shake my head. I get up from my comfy towel and walk over to where he is working on some papers. Even though we decided to take a fun day to the beach he still had work sprawled across his lap. 

“Sirius, put it away. The paperwork will be there tomorrow, but the beach day won't.” I scold him, kneeling in the warm sand next to him, and place my hand under my chin, raising his eyes from his work. 

“Paperwork doesn’t stop Jaz, you know this.” He moves his head out of my grasp and starts working again. I feel frustration at watching him work and I reach down, grabbing the pen out of his hands and slipping it down my shirt before also taking his papers and putting them back in the satchel and tossing the satchel over to where the supplies sit. I sit in his lap and kiss him on the lips, pressing against him. 

“You better give me back my Paperwork Little Lady” he grumbles, but he holds me close to him anyway. 

“Paperwork never stops Sirius, you said it yourself. So stop worrying about it and relax.” I continue to scold him, knowing the man never takes a break unless I force him too. “Sirius, look around, we got everyone together to spend some time away from work and to relax. You would rather spend more time doing your paperwork than spend with me or the twins” I let my frustrations out and I see his gaze soften a little. He rubs his eyes and lets out a sigh, resting his head against mine he runs his hands up my waist. I shift a little in his lap to get more comfortable and I notice his eyes darken for a moment before his face goes back to normal. 

“You’re right Jaz, I’m sorry.” He apologizes to me and making sure no one is watching he reaches down my shirt to retrieve the pen. 

“Hey” I protest and he smirks at me, wrapping an arm around my waist. 

“If you didn’t want me to retrieve it you wouldn’t have put it there” He calmly told me,  before standing us both up and leading me toward the water. 

“Luka, Fenrir can you keep an eye on the twins for a little bit?” He asks the two other officers and I notice they both nod and he leads me away. 

“Hey where are we going?” I ask, looking worriedly over my shoulder. 

“To spend some time with you, that’s what you wanted right?” His hand rubs circles into my hip and he places a kiss on my shoulder. 

“Sirius” I protest, but he ignores me, gently guiding me into an alcove away from the others. 

“Here this should be far enough from those brats.” Sirius pulls me into his arms and starts kissing my neck. I grant him a little more access and I feel him start to pull the laces on my swim top, revealing my bikini underneath. 

“You wore it” He smiles down at me, as he takes off the top and admires me in the bikini. 

“Of course, you asked me to” I tell him, going to cover the scars across my stomach but he stops me. 

“No, don’t hide your scars from me,  those came from the twins, they are nothing to hide.” He kneels down softly and kisses the scars and I whimper as goosebumps run up my body at his touches. He looks up at me deviously and suddenly she stands up, spinning me around and taking my hands behind me. I feel him tug my bikini strings and suddenly he releases my hand, only for me to find my strings holding my hands in place. 

“Sirius why?” I ask him, turning to face him. He ignores my question and kisses me, deepening the kiss and playing with my now bare nipples. “Sirius?” I ask again, pulling away from the kiss and he holds me in place. 

“You were being a brat who wanted attention. So now you have my attention.” He gently nudges me to kneel in front of him, using my cover up as padding. 

“Here Sirius?” I am used to seeing this side of Sirius in his room, but I have never seen it outside of the bedroom. 

“There is no one here and as long as we’re quiet, no one will find us” He assures me before lowering his swim trunks to reveal his erection. “ Now you started this, so finish it” He gently guides my head to his erection, leaving me time to say no.

 I just open my mouth and accept his length. I set right to work, taking him as far back as I can, knowing exactly where to suck and where to run my tongue to  get him groaning my name. He reaches for the wall of the alcove behind us and looks down at me with lust blown eyes. My green-gold eyes meet his amethyst ones and I know that mine are just as desire filled as his. 

I pleasure him with just my mouth, feeling how close he is I prepare myself and take him all the way back. I feel him tense and release in my mouth, holding me in place until he is done. I swallow everything and lay a couple of kisses to his length before sitting back on my knees. Sirius runs his fingers through my hair, coming down from his high. He releases my hands from the bikini before he sits down next to me and pulls me against his chest. I hum in delight when he starts running his fingers along my breasts and down to my bottoms. 

“I think it’s your turn” He promises, laying me back so he can place my legs on his shoulders. “Then we can go spend time with the twins” He kisses up my thighs and I lay my head back, enjoying everything his tongue does to me and I unravel in the way only Sirius can make me do. In the silence of the alcove only my moans echo and I smile to myself.  I never knew beach days could be so fun. 

[wreathedinscales]

shoutout to @grogusdads for their 100% accurate headcanon about Din Djarin being Ultimate Dad as Mand’alor. we’ve never talked, but you share many headcanons with me :D

anyway here’s din realizing, oh wait, he’s actually a??? ruler???? :O

()

1. Guards?

Without Grogu, Din makes it his purpose to help reclaim Mandalore. And attempt to provoke Bo-Katan into challenging him.

This time, he thinks, he's got her.

"Do you know anything about ruling?" Bo-Katan snaps.

Din once again holds out the Darksaber. "You're welcome to do it yourself."

But no. She just rolls her eyes and tries once again to fix his posture. Because apparently just standing straight does not a ruler make.

Mandalorians answer the call. Not all of them, but enough to start rebuilding. Din doesn't know about ruling, but he can organize a few supply runs and a roster. He takes mental notes of names, strengths and weaknesses. Nothing he hasn't done before.

About two weeks into this, Din notices two Mandalorians following him. Both have predominantly red armor with identical wing-shaped markings on their helmets. Kai and Kol, Din's inner records supply, sisters who grew up in a covert not quite as traditional as Din's, but their background is similar enough that Din's found common ground with them. They're some of the best at stealth, great for off-planet supply runs.

Din looks around at the small crowd. It's still somewhat staggering, seeing so many Mandalorians in broad daylight. He still catches himself scanning for Imps.

"Inventory's still scattered, and you're light on your feet," he says, "See what you can find in the palace."

For once, the sisters don't nod and walk off. Instead, they glance at each other, then look back at din with helmets tilted.

"We already have a task," Kai says slowly.

"Then why are you following me?"

They share another glance.

"We are your guard," Kol says, matching her sister's voice.

Din's so surprised he says, "What?" Then he shakes his head and adds, "Did Bo-Katan put you up to this?"

"She approached candidates," Kai says, "We volunteered first."

Din puts his hands on his hips. He's genuinely at a loss. "Why?"

They're attracting a small audience. The sisters' stunned silence doesn't help.

"You are Mand'alor," Kol replies blankly, "Our planet is not without dangers. We must protect you."

...oh.

Hm.

"Your efforts are best suited helping rebuild," Din tries, "I don't see any danger getting past all of us." He gestures to the rubble that was once the capital. "Help our people first."

More silence. For the first time in years, Din actively stops himself from fidgeting.

It becomes quickly apparent that they are not moving. But guards not listening to him is something he's used to.

"Okay, how about one of you stays with me?"

Kol and Kai stare a bit more. Then they bow, and Kai heads to the city.

"Okay," Din says again, "I guess if you're staying close, you might as well help me look over our supplies. We're still short on materials."

He turns on his heel and hopes everyone will stop staring. Fortunately, inventory takes focus. After some hesitation, Kol shoulders her staff and joins him.

Two hours later, Din is satisfied he's done all he can. He passes the datapad to Hrush, who's unofficially record-keeper with how quick they are at it. Their brain's the size of Mandalore, and their fingers fly over the screen.

Next batch.

Din looks over his shoulder. With any luck, Kol will have caught the hint and gone back to work.

He finds another Mandalorian walking beside her. Jaz, fought in the Purge, follows Bo-Katan's version of the Way, Fennec-level shot with her two blasters. Her muscles make her tower over Kol.

Din stops. They stop with him.

He sighs. "Fine. Jaz, you can lift two crates at a time, yes?"

Jaz balks a bit. After a moment, she says, "Yes, Mand'alor."

"Good. Kol, get those open while Jaz and I get the rest. You can. Multitask."

Din would really, really like everyone to stop staring.

2. Palace?

"What?"

Bo-Katan raises an eyebrow. "The Mand'alor needs his throne."

They're standing outside the palace ruin, Bo-Katan's helmet under her arm and Din glad his own hides his no doubt stupid expression. Kai and Kol are, unfortunately, still following him.

"Why the hell would I want a palace?" Din asks. "We're almost done the compound. There's plenty of room."

"Yours isn't ready yet."

"I don't need a suite, Kryze. As long as I can fit, a bunk and a door will be fine."

"You are Mand'alor."

"I am Mandalorian." It's taken a bit for him to come to terms with that, after the light cruiser. But everyone else sure sees him as one, which has helped. "A door and a bunk. No. Palace."

Hrush is quiet when Din approaches them with dimensions for his bunk. He's been sleeping with various clans and families so far, and it's worked out alright. Those who don't follow the Watch's Way respect his helmet. But a bit a privacy would be nice, and if Bo-Katan insists on him having his own room, well.

"I know materials are low," Din says, "Prioritize others first. This can wait."

Hrush is a small spitfire. They are still quiet.

Din waits a beat before nodding. The training yards still need a lot of attention. He heads there next.

That night, he checks the compound's roster. There are still two groups he hasn't imposed on yet. Their community is growing. It makes him smile.

"Mand'alor?" Kai says.

Din turns and waves his hand. "You can, uh, bunk down. I'll see if Clan Gon has floor space."

Even though, for some reason, people keep insisting Din take a cot, he's won through stubbornness so far. His back hates him, but it's not the first time they've been at odds.

A familiar huff joins them. "Mand'alor," Hrush says, "your room is ready. All the way down, to the left."

"...oh."

Well, at least they've finally given up on the suite.

"Thank you," Din says.

Hrush's helmet tilts, like they're about to say something. Din waits, but whatever they had wanted to say turns into, "Good night, Mand'alor."

Din inclines his head. "Same to you."

"What the hell."

This is not a bunk. This is. This is a full on apartment.

"I said no suite."

"It isn't a suite, Mand'alor," Kai says. She actually sounds amused. "It meets your specifications."

Din turns to her and crosses his arms. The room is huge, with a damn kitchenette, table, and private fresher. The cot isn't a cot, but a full on double bed. Din doesn't even know where all this stuff came from.

"You asked for a door," Kol says.

"I asked. For. A. Bunk. This is a waste of supplies we haven't got."

"Mand'alor, we provided the bare necessities." Kai seems seconds away from laughing.

"A double bed is not a necessity. Switch it with," Din thinks a second, "Clan To. The alors need support for those limps, and their Foundlings can use the extra cot."

The sisters look at each other. Din wishes they'd stop doing that.

"As you wish," they say.

"But it's too late now," Kai adds, "Clan To retired before you."

"Tomorrow, then."

"When would you like us to do it?"

Din shakes his head. "I'll do it myself. I can lift this."

"...certainly, Mand'alor."

3. Personal Space?

Since the fresher isn't going anywhere, Din figures, fuck it, he might as well use it. It's been a pain getting up extra early for the communal space anyway. Even if the space is working just fine, Bo-Katan.

When he's freshly dressed, he reenters the main room to find Jaz setting down one of Clan To's cots.

"Your time is better spent elsewhere," Din says firmly.

"Of course, Mand'alor," Jaz replies.

Well, Din's used to a bit of mocking. What's done is done. "Then help me move the rest of this to the communal space. I just need the caf."

"Mand'alor, with respect, I will not remove necessities from your room." Jaz shifts her weight. "This will make it easier for you to follow your Way. We wish to respect your helmet."

It's reasonable. Din would be lying if he said he didn't miss his privacy. But he'd rather sacrifice some personal bubble for a Foundling's future than have this.

"Would you not do the same for another?" Jaz asks quietly.

Din sighs. "Fine. If any who follow my Creed want to use this room, let them know it's open. I'll put a lock on the door."

"A lock will be installed in an hour," Jaz says.

"Okay. We'll spread the word."

"...as you wish, Mand'alor. I'll leave you to your first meal."

Quiet follows Jaz. Complete, utter quiet.

Wow. Din...has really missed this.

He looks around. There are no windows. People won't barge in. He can trust fellow Mandalorians.

Cautiously, Din removes his helmet. The quiet is still there.

He did sleep better last night. Maybe he can let himself have this.

4. Respect?

Din whirls around, spear out, just in time for Kol and Kai to take the attacker down.

Having guards is weird, but convenient.

Din studies the Mandalorian. Armor similar to Fett's, not enough for the resemblance to be startling, as it is painted blue and yellow. Goboz, young, cocky but well-meaning, best at hand-to-hand, needs more gun training.

Caju and Vadde of Clan To are in front of Din in a second, blasters raised. It makes Din warm.

"What business have you, attacking our Mand'alor?" Kai demands coldly.

"The Darksaber," Goboz says.

Din gently pushes Caju and Vadde aside. "You're barely 23, kid. Why do you want to rule?"

Goboz starts. "How do you know how old I am?"

Din cocks his head. "You told me when we met. If you can't remember that, what makes you think you're fit to lead?"

He's not angry. But Goboz did not issue an honorable challenge. He clearly has not studied the Way enough. Din will have to have a word with his buir. No matter how old they get, a child deserves guidance.

(Child. No, not the time. Not the place.)

Din puts his hands on his hips and says calmly, "If you wish to challenge me to the Darksaber, do so honorably. This is the Way."

Voices echo, "This is the Way."

Goboz averts his helmet. "...this is the Way."

Din nods. "Let him up."

Kai and Kol step back. They keep their spears level in warning.

"Now," Din says, "do you want to challenge me?"

Goboz nods.

"As challenger, choose your weapon."

As expected, Goboz replies, "Hand-to-hand."

"Fine. I accept." Din scans the crowd. "Kryze. Since you won't challenge me, you can oversee this."

Bo-Katan's lip quirks. "Certainly, Mand'alor."

"Meet me in the training yard in ten," Din says, "I need to finalize the Foundlings' training rosters."

Goboz looks cowed. Din waits for him to walk off before turning back to Hrush.

They meet without weapons in the center. Goboz bounces lightly on his feet. Din finds himself looking forward to this. It's been too long since he's had a good fight.

Bo-Katan widens her stance. "Begin."

Goboz swings first. Din parries and goes for his blind spot. He's blocked and pushed, but he stands his ground. It soon becomes apparent that Goboz doesn't mind his legs nearly as much as he should. He's good, very good. Just not good enough.

Din trips him, shoving a knee on his chest and pinning his arms. Goboz nearly throws him off. Nearly.

"Do you yield?" Din hisses.

Goboz struggles valiantly. But he sees he's beaten. He goes limp. "I yield."

"The Mand'alor is the winner," Bo-Katan announces. The crowd cheers.

Din helps Goboz up. Goboz says, "I thought you'd be more aggressive. I did you a dishonor."

"You did yourself and your clan a dishonor," Din retorts, "You clearly know better, Goboz."

Goboz's shoulders hunch slightly. "Yes, Mand'alor." He puts a fist to his chest and bows. "I will accept whatever punishment you deem fit."

Din tilts his head. "You learned from your mistake. I hold no grudge against you. Go to your buir for punishment."

Goboz makes himself even smaller, showing his age. The next "Yes, Mand'alor" is more of a grumble.

Din revels in the buzzing of his muscles and gets back to work.

Goboz's buir, Imni, approaches him later that afternoon.

"I apologize for Goboz's behavior," she says, "I thought I taught him better."

Din shrugs. "He's young. Kids don't always listen."

Imni huffs. "You are wise, Mand'alor."

"Just experienced. My." Din swallows. "My own Foundling liked to get his paws into trouble."

Imni inclines her head. "I heard you returned him to his kind."

"I did. Now I have other Foundlings to look after."

"You honor us, Mand'alor."

Din shakes his head. "This is the Way."

"This is the Way." Imni sounds like she's smiling.

5. Children?

"They're a bounty hunter," Din explains for the umpteenth time.

"They tried to assassinate you," Bo-Katan replies for the umpteenth time.

"I've done worse in their shoes."

"But you're not in their shoes anymore. You are Mand'alor."

"I'm still a hunter."

"You are Mand'alor."

Din looks to Senator Organa, who's trying not to laugh. She resembles the Jedi strongly; it had been a shock to know the Huttslayer is Grogu's teacher's twin sister. He now knows the Jedi is called Luke Skywalker. He'd been about to find out more when a sniper got him right between the beskar.

He'll be fine, especially with the fancy tech on Coruscant. It's practically a five star treatment compared to Din's usual experience. Only now Bo-Katan is insisting the hunter be put on trial or something.

Din tries again. "Let's just talk. Find out who hired them."

"They won't leave without their reward," Bo-Katan says.

"They might be Guild. I can get in touch with Karga, get them another job."

Bo-Katan looks at him with the slightly narrowed eyes of a person who's looking at an absolute moron. Din doesn't feel like he deserves that, thank you.

"You want," she says, "to get your would-be assassin another job."

"Might not be as high, but they seem like they can take on more than one. They're capable."

Bo-Katan mouths capable. She looks to Organa as if pleading for patience.

Organa clears her throat. "Mand'alor. Would you feel the same if one of your people was shot?"

The anger is sharp and sudden. Din breathes through it. "I'm supposed to protect them. It's not the same."

Bo-Katan gestures to him. "You see what I have to deal with?"

Din balks. Organa stops fighting her grin.

"I think we should take this to the conference room," Organa says, "If the Mand'alor feels able."

Din stands without wobbling and motions for her to lead the way. He waves to a stiff Kai and Kol, and they settle behind him.

The conference room is full of seething Mandalorians.

"You guaranteed our Mand'alor's safety!" Jaz bellows, hands flat on the table. "You go back on your word so easily?"

Caju is coiled to strike. "It was a mistake to come here. We should have known better."

These are but two voices among the throng. The other senators are various shades of pale and flushed, some trying to calm the situation while others are yelling back.

"Don't suppose you can help?" Organa asks sardonically.

Din sighs. He draws his spear and hits it against his vambrace. The room cuts off mid-shout.

"Have we found out who hired them?" Din asks.

One of the senators, a human male whose hair is mussed from running his fingers through it, says, "Yes."

"And where is the hunter?"

"Captured," Vadde replies tightly, "Alive."

Din nods and heads for the nearest seat. He pauses when the Mandalorians part for him, showing the head of the table. He awkwardly changes course.

"Tell me about the employer."

"You're what."

Din punches the code for the cell. "I got you some new pucks. Together, it should be close to what this job would've paid." The door opens. "I'll go with you to your ship, make sure they let you pass."

The hunter's frog eyes stare widely. Din wonders if their species ever blink.

"You are a world leader," the hunter says, "I tried to kill you."

"So I've been told."

"You realize you should be executing me, right? Or at least sending me to max prison?"

Din huffs. "I've been told that too. I've also been a bounty hunter. You don't seem like you have close ties with your employer, which means you're only in it for the money. You're not a threat to my people."

"I could be."

"Then I'll kill you." Simple, matter-of-fact. "Do you want me to? I can think of at least a dozen ways right now."

The bounty hunter finally blinks. "...no."

"Then let's go. Sooner we get you going, the sooner I can get back to getting coordinates for my kid."

The hunter takes a few hesitant steps. Kai and Kol are pillars of ice, but they don't attack. Din starts walking.

"So, uh. The rumors about your Foundling are true?" the hunter says.

"Yep."

"Huh. You're, uh. I mean, you seem like a good dad, then."

Din's throat goes tight. "He's with his kind now. I am no longer as his father."

"...oh," the hunter croaks.

A beat.

"He is father to his people," Kol snaps.

Din whips around so fast his neck nearly cracks. Kol raises her chin, as if daring him to argue.

"We..." Din slowly starts walking again, "we take care of each other."

"You take care of us, Mand'alor," Kai says firmly.

After a few more paces, the hunter says, "I actually feel a little bad for trying to kill you."

Din huffs a laugh, still reeling. "Thanks."

As he watches the hunter take off, Din murmurs, "You honor me."

Softly, Kai says, "It is what you deserve, Mand'alor."

"And," Kol adds, "it's fun to watch when people realize you're not angry, just disappointed."

Kai shoulders her spear to put her hands on her hips, bending slightly at the waist and cocking her head. Din realizes as Kol laughs that she's imitating him. His cheeks burn when he also realizes he's halfway to putting his hands on his hips too.

When she's calmed down, Kol puts a hand on Din's shoulder. "You are as our father, Mand'alor. Let us care for you in turn."

Din has to take at least half a minute to steady himself. He's still hoarse when he says, "You can't shoot the ship."

The sisters sigh.

[artificialqueens]

Just Like a Folk Song (Our Love Will Be Passed On), 1/3 (Trixya) - Pinkgrapefruit

A/N -

hi! I’m really excited for this!!! I started it back in the summer of 2020 and it’s been a labour of love for sure. I was initially dead set on waiting for it to reach its end before I posted but I want someone who isn’t me and ortega to enjoy it. I’m so, so proud of it and I really hope you enjoy it so please let me know and maybe I’ll actually finish this one.

Thank you to Jaz, Ortega and Frey who have endlessly supported me, egged me on and corrected the minutia of my grammar. This one is for you xoxo

[chapter 1. pirate wives]

*

part one. joy

please picture me in the trees i hit my peak at seven feet in the swing over the creek i was too scared to jump in

There is a girl in the trees. She is blonde and messy, and her knees have scratches that Trixie’s mama would never allow. She clambers through the branches in her wellies, light as a feather until she’s straddling the edge of a thick branch, white teeth glistening in the mid-afternoon sun. Trixie is immediately jealous. She’s missing her two front teeth and although her mama straightens her dresses and tells her she’s very pretty - she’s not entirely convinced. The girl jumps down from the tree and hits the debris-littered floor with a soft thud. Her shoes are caked in mud and she runs a dirty hand through her hair in a way that makes Trixie’s skin crawl.

The day is warm, and Trixie’s mama had told her to spend it by the river near their flat. It’s overlooked by a wood, and the last man who pretended to be her daddy built a tire swing, so her and her brother could play down here when the sun makes it unbearable to be indoors.

The girl tilts her head and Trixie mirrors her, unsure. Her eyes are a crystalline green, the same colour as the lazy river, and she blushes as Trixie stares. The girl waves exuberantly.

“I’m Katya!” She introduces, pushing her hand forward for Trixie to shake. She sees her mama greet people like this, but it seems very strange. She cautiously moves her hand to meet it and they shake rather forcefully.

“Katya?” She repeats, almost a question, half-formed on her tongue.

“Yup! K-A-T-” she pauses, eyebrows scrunched as she tries to remember the next letter. The sun filters through the leaves, speckling her face with dots of light. “Y-A! Katya!”

Trixie giggles, cheeks flushing. She grips her pink corduroy dungaree dress, letting the soft fabric soothe her nerves. “My name is Beatrice,” she says, voice tight like a rope pulled taut. She is being polite. She is a good girl. Katya purses her lips, shuffling from one foot to another. “You can call me Trixie, though?”

Katya smiles, nods slightly. “I would like that, Trixie.”

She reaches out for Trixie to take her hand, and Trixie is slightly less hesitant this time. Katya’s smock blows in the slight breeze as she tugs Trixie forward, and the girl in the pink follows willingly.

but i, i was high in the sky with pennsylvania under me are there still beautiful things?

She ends up pulling her towards the tyre-swing and she holds Trixie’s cardigan as she wrestles up onto the tyre. Katya can only manage to push her for a few minutes before she wants her own turn, and Trixie makes her pull the swing as far back as she can, so there’s no chance she’ll end up in the river.

“How old are you?” Trixie asks as she holds the tyre patiently for Katya, who struggles in her wellies, despite being adept at climbing trees in them.

“I’m seven,” she announces proudly as she sits atop the tyre. She grips the rope tightly, so her fingers turn white and her brown smock is tucked under her thighs for grip. “My mama told me I look very old for my age.”

Trixie wouldn’t necessarily disagree. Katya looks bigger and certainly stronger than her. She is louder - more physical - and her hair is pretty. Trixie considers it all for a second.

“Okay,” she replies, pushing the swing gently, so its reflection ripples across the river. “I’m seven too.”

She pushes Katya gently for a few more minutes before Katya pipes up again. She’s more relaxed, fingers only barely hanging onto the rope.

“Do you have a boyfriend, Trixie?” The question makes Trixie squirm almost as much as the fact that Katya is now trying to hang upside-down above the river.

She gulps her anxiety down. “No,” she tells her, “I don’t really want one.”

Katya looks at her from upside down and smiles brightly. “boys are gross, Trixie,” she tells her sternly as if she’s had experience. She is steady in her convictions, and Trixie finds this admirable - she’s not sure if she has convictions.

Katya’s smock comes loose from under her thighs and Trixie looks away in shock as it exposes her almost naked body. Katya just giggles, her stomach expanding with laughter as she tries to grip with her legs and pull herself back up, so she is no longer exposed.

She twists her body slightly and manages to jump off the swing and onto the ground, watching as Trixie winces.

Katya puts her arms in the air. “I’m fine, look,” she tells her reassuringly. Curving her fingertips slightly she smiles. “RAWR!”

She chases Trixie through the horse fields until they end up on a street full of little stone cottages with flower boxes under the windows. Trixie stops when her mary janes hit the concrete and looks quizzically at Katya who’s stopped at a green door. She beckons for her to follow, and Trixie does.

sweet tea in the summer cross your heart, won’t tell no other and though i can’t recall your face i still got love for you

Katya’s sister Anna is sitting in the living room with a jug full of sweet tea and ice that makes Trixie drool just thinking about it. She smiles, offering them plastic cups full of the sugary liquid that Trixie happily gulps down after hours in the woods. She goes to slip her shoes off by the door, but Katya waves her hand. “Keep ‘em on.”

Trixie shrugs and follows the messy blonde up a flight of wooden stairs into a little red room. It has a bed pushed up to the wall and a set of gymnastic rings that come down from the ceiling. Katya places her cup down on the nearest flat surface as Trixie cradles hers in her hands, and launches herself at the rings.

Trixie is astounded that Katya can push herself off the ground, arms locked straight. She jumps down and grabs the shorts off the bed, pulling them on (somewhat awkwardly) over her wellies. Trixie watches in wonderment, fixed in place on the carpet, so she doesn’t spread dirt as Katya swings around, flipping and tumbling, aided by the rings.

When she finally stops, they sit crossed-legged on the floor, sipping sweet tea.

“Will you be my best friend?” Trixie asks Katya sweetly - her tongue coated in tea and her body energised from the most fun she’s ever had. She picks at the lace on the top of her socks while Katya considers her offer.

“I can do that,” she tells her, voice earnest and honest.

“Deal. I think best friends braid each other’s hair.”

“That sounds good.”

your braids like a pattern love you to the moon and to saturn passed down like folk songs the love lasts so long

“You can move now!” Katya announces after a painfully long time. Trixie gently pats the neat rows of hair on her head - it’s tender, and she scrunches her face up in response. She finds herself jealous - Katya is much better at braiding than she is, but she promised to teach her on the hand-me-down styling mannequin she got from her sister Anna.

“You’re better than me,” she effuses, hand splayed on the soft fabric of Katya’s smock.

“Yeah, well you have freckles,” Katya retorts, and Trixie nods because she makes a good point. “You can’t have everything, Beatrice.”

Trixie chews on her lips. She feels freer in Katya’s bedroom, there are no ghosts in the cupboards or angry ladies drying the washing in the sun. “Can you call me Trixie?” She asks. “I liked that better.”

Katya jumps up, pulling Trixie up with her. The sun makes her red walls glow, and they reflect onto her blonde hair.

“Okay, Trixie, do you wanna go on an adventure?”

Trixie nods and they barrel out of the bedroom and down the stairs, which creak pleasantly with every thundering step. Katya tugs her round the bend at the bottom of the stairs so fast that Trixie almost slams into the wall, but eventually they find Katya’s mama, Seraphine, in the kitchen making a salad.

“We’re going on an adventure!” Trixie exclaims, and Seraphine chuckles at them, ruffling Katya’s hair until the blonde scowls.

“Okay girls, stay safe,” she tells them, and they nod earnestly. “Are you staying for dinner?” She asks Trixie, and Trixie shakes her head sadly.

“My mama told me to be home for six.”

Seraphine smiles warmly and moves, so they can exit through the back door. Katya’s house backs onto a horse field and it makes Trixie feel like a butterfly - all warm and free in the sun and she never really wants to go home.

Katya sticks her arms out like she could fly if only she had the lift, and they run around playing aeroplanes for a little while. Trixie’s scuffed mary janes let her socks get wet from the dew in the grass and it makes her feel like she is a part of nature.

Katya takes off her wellies and the ground squishes under her toes.

and i’ve been meaning to tell you i think your house is haunted your dad is always mad and that must be why

Katya walks Trixie home to the grey flats on the edge of the town. They tower high above the little cottages - a relic of a revolution long gone - and cast hazy shadows in the late afternoon sun. In the shadows, Katya’s hair looks dull and Trixie’s dress looks clean, and it makes the hairs on Trixie’s legs stand up as a breeze whistles under her skirt.

“You live here?” Katya asks and she doesn’t mean it to sound mean, but the words still crackle in Trixie’s ears like dying embers. She bristles, standing up tall and proud like she’s always been taught to.

“Yes, I do,” she tells Katya almost haughtily - trying to channel her mama. Her hands firm around the squish of her hips and she purses her lips.

Katya frowns. “I’m sorry,” she voices, chewing the inside of her cheek, fingers clinging together behind her. “It looks like ghosts live here.”

This makes Trixie laugh, it’s soft and ladylike because she’s a lady, which in turn makes Katya laugh - loud and raucous.

“Good-bye, Kat-y-a,” says Trixie, her mouth rounding over the syllables. “Katya.”

“Good-bye, my best friend Trixie,” replies Katya with a wave and a nod before she skips back up the path towards the streetlamps. She steps inside the building and heads up the stairs, knocking three times on the door.

“Why are your shoes scuffed, Beatrice?” Is her first greeting and she turns her toes in an attempt to hide them from her mama.

“The forest, Mama,” Trixie responds, calm and quiet. Her brother is watching from the couch and he sticks his tongue out at her with a kind smile. “I met a girl named Katya.”

Her mama scowls, face tight and eyes sharp. “You let a girl named Katya touch your hair?” She asks, almost mocking as she picks up a braid and lets it fall back onto Trixie’s back. She sighs. “Go get ready for dinner and wash your hands.”

“Yes, Mama,” Trixie tells her dutifully before running off to her bedroom. She places the bobbles Katya used in her hair in her jewellery box.

and i think you should come live with me and we can be pirates then you won’t have to cry or hide in the closet

They play pirates, skipping rocks on the river like cannonballs. Katya is Blackbeard with her macaroni necklace and her stolen clip-on earrings. She smiles sweetly and tells Trixie that she is Grace O'Malley, because she is pretty and male pirates were not pretty. Also because then they could have the best pirate wedding anyone has ever seen and this makes Trixie laugh so hard she accidentally throws her best skipping stone. Katya decides that she’s won, but she will share her treasure and they lay on the grass on the bank of the river.

Seraphine has been reading Katya a book on pirates, so the young girl parrots the information back to Trixie, who revels in the knowledge. She begs her brother Josh to read her that pirates books she’s borrowed from the library and the next day she comes back to the river and tells Katya that they are both women pirates.

“I am Grace O'Malley and you are Mary Reed,” she announces authoritatively. Katya frowns, head tilted so her blonde hair glows white in the sun.

“Can we still have the best pirate wedding though?” She asks, and Trixie squeezes her hand before jumping up.

“Of course!” She tells her like it is obvious. “We will just be pirate wives.”

Katya nods, because this makes perfect sense. “We will be pirate wives,” she consolidates. She pulls a stick out of the belt of her smock and holds it aloft. “TO BATTLE, PIRATE WIFE!” She screams so the horses in the next field are adequately prepared before running down the grassy bank, so her wellies get wet on the rocky shore of the river.

“To battle!” Trixie squeals, running after her with enthusiasm. She stops when the stones start because she doesn’t want to get her socks wet this time, but she watches as Katya jumps in the water.

'Best friend pirate wife,’ she turns over in her head. It sounds good.

and just like a folk song our love will be passed on

part two. discomfort

i want you to know i’m a mirrorball i’ll show you every version of yourself tonight

There’s only one middle school in the village. Its bricks are a rust-brown and rough like they’ve just been dug out of the ground. It used to be a factory town, so everything is covered in a thin layer of dirt and dust anyway, but this building manages to look particularly rugged. Trixie assumes the planters were at one point neat and trimmed, although they don’t seem to be anymore - wiry stems making their way up the walls. It’s not unwelcoming, Trixie just doesn’t really want to be there.

She pushes that down though, pulling her white long-socks back up past her knees and adjusting the way her backpack falls on her shoulders. She spots Katya loitering under the carefully positioned 'no loitering’ sign and smiles - picking up her pace so her mary-janes slip a little on the gravel-covered yard. Katya’s wrists are covered in the friendship bracelets they spent the summer weaving with Seraphine’s embroidery threads. She wears Trixie’s too - her mama threw the first one out with her brother’s holey socks.

They share a homeroom, and Katya makes sure they get two seats next to each other, the plastic chairs sweating in the late August heat. Trixie’s thighs stick to them against her will and she finds herself gently prying her thighs away from the seat every so often as Katya laughs in her loose jeans.

Katya has always been the one who preferred practical fashion. Her brown smocks have turned into tank tops and jeans, and she’s only eleven, but Trixie thinks she dresses a bit like the boys from Grease. They’re older. Maybe, by then, Trixie will look like a Pink Lady. That’s what she wants, anyway.

They write notes on each other’s pencil cases while Mr Thompson gives them a rather hasty personal health lesson. Trixie worries at one point that she’s missing important information about periods or nail varnish, but Katya tells her that Anna can just explain it all to them, so they go back to doodling hearts in the margins of their brand new notepads.

At one point, Trixie chances a look around the room, the walls are sparse and the paint peels, but there’s one poster that makes her tummy feel weird and she almost points it out to Katya, but the other girl is too busy making a paper plane.

The poster tells her homosexuality is a sin.

She wonders if pirate wives are exempt.

i’ll get you out on the floor shimmering beautiful and when i break it’s in a million pieces hush

In Biology, Katya is seated next to a boy named Maxwell. He’s Jewish and sweet enough, and they talk about his babushka’s chak-chak. Katya remembers the sweet, doughy treat from her times visiting her baba back in Russia, and she almost asks why his name doesn’t sound like hers, because he sounds awfully American even though he can pronounce her last name.

Most of the teachers can’t. It’s the third day and they’ve already resorted to Zamo. She’s too used to it to be hurt.

Mrs Dodds comes in through the teacher’s door and drops a textbook on the desk to get everyone’s attention. She’s a mousy sort of woman - light hair cut to a bob that stops at the nape of her neck. Her blazer is tweed and also oversized, and it reminds Katya of the jacket her dad wears to job interviews.

Dodds starts scratching her name onto the board in white chalk and the sound sends shivers down the class’s spines.

“Can anyone explain to me where humans came from?” She asks the room, and the eleven-year-olds cower from the cadence of her voice.

A brave girl called Monique waves her hand, but Dodd’s picks on a boy called Jaremi instead and he quivers under her gaze. “Sex?” He suggests, tone light like he’s walking on eggshells and all of the preteens burst into giggles. The poor boy turns the same shade as summer poppies, and Katya feels terrible. Unfortunately, her face must betray this because a crooked finger is pointed in her direction. She shifts awkwardly.

“Evolution,” she musters with enough confidence that it doesn’t sound like a question, and while the class looks vaguely impressed with her, Mrs Dodds does not. She scoffs.

“A fallacy,” she claims, stalking back to the chalkboard with her sleeves crumpled by her elbows.

The chalk scraped on the board, spelling out a word: God. Katya gulps. She’s pretty sure god didn’t make humans. They came from fish - at least that’s what her encyclopedia told her.

“God created humans,” she announces to them all, smiling faintly, “and it’s people like you, sinner,” she points at Katya again, “who make him regret it.”

when no one is around, my dear you’ll find me on my tallest tiptoes spinning in my highest heels, love shining just for you Hush

They square dance in gym class and even though there aren’t enough boys, the girls aren’t allowed to dance with each other, so Trixie ends up sat on the bench while Katya and Max twirl in circles - blatantly flaunting the teacher’s instruction. Her long black skirt is patterned with white skulls and flares prettily around her ankles, exposing her red Doc Martens.

Katya leads, stepping backwards while Max steps on her toes - his shorter stature making for quite the picture (one that makes Trixie snort into her elbow).

She is not jealous. Jealousy is too strong, what she feels is subtle - like pulling on her ribs, shifting them under her skin until her heart hurts. Her heart does hurt. Maybe she’s not used to Katya having other people, so what - they said they would stick together and they will. She is confident.

When the dance ends, Katya bows - waving her arm so it circles under her and allowing her messy hair to fall over her face before flicking it back dramatically. She smiles at Trixie, and Trixie smiles back for the split second before she is assigned to the tall, lanky boy at the back of the gym. His hands are clammy and damp and strangely cold, and Trixie tries to hold them as lightly as she can, confident that Katya’s would be softer, warmer.

The boy smells strange, his hair falls over his eyes, and he stutters when he talks to her, making a poor effort of leading her and standing on her feet more than she stands on his. The teacher doesn’t seem to care, too busy screaming at the blonde girl who refuses to dance with the boy who has eczema.

They dance in circles rather than squares and Trixie’s mind is running in triangles rather than circles.

i know they said the end is near but i’m still on my tallest tiptoes spinning in my highest heels, love shining just for you

Trixie finds herself giggling with the girls Katya called plastic in her English lesson. She doesn’t share it with Katya and she didn’t want to sit alone, so she positioned herself at the back with Gigi, Pearl, and Courtney, who don’t seem to have an appreciation for Keats, but then again neither does Trixie, unless Katya is reading it to her in the hammock behind the cottage.

Gigi is dating a hippie boy from the next town over. She refers to him as Crystal, and the other girls go along with it, so Trixie doesn’t ask. Pearl wants to smoke weed with the high school boys that hang around the skate park, but she’s promised her brother that she won’t until she’s fourteen. Courtney is from Australia. They seem interesting.

Trixie doesn’t understand why they’re plastic.

But Katya drags her by the arm out of school one day ranting about how they’d called her names like 'dyke’ for not having a boyfriend.

“Boys are dumb,” she’d told them proudly, “I don’t want one.”

“Boys are dumb,” Trixie agrees solemnly, sat on a wall near her flat as Katya paces. She kicks a stone into the road and watches it skitter to a halt before sitting next to Trixie with a huff. “Sometimes girls are dumb too,” Trixie reminds gently, and Katya puts her head on her shoulder.

“You’re not dumb,” Katya tells her, “I don’t understand why they have to be.” She sounds so dejected that Trixie wants to bundle her up in blankets and make hot cocoa until she’s smiling again.

“Welcome to the real world. It sucks. You’re going to love it,” Trixie quips, and it does make Katya chuckle at her best friend’s antics.

“You did not just quote friends at me,” she jokes, pressing a finger into the softness of Trixie’s side. Trixie jumps off the wall in shock as Katya cackles to herself and sticks her tongue out.

“I hate you,” she tells her, smiling widely.

“I hate you too.”

i want you to know i’m a mirrorball i can change everything about me to fit in

They walk the final stretch to Trixie’s flat, hands swinging between them. Katya’s hand is clammy, but it is warm, and it grounds Trixie’s thoughts from where they are spinning. She knows people can be horrid, her brother once told her that 50% of the town is assholes and 50% is assholes you can deal with, but knowing and realising are two different things, and maybe she just hadn’t realised.

She doesn’t mean to be, but she’s more careful from then on. She giggles with boys and she doesn’t really hold Katya’s hand outside of the woods and the fields, where they are free to be whatever they want. And maybe she wants to hold Katya’s hand. Maybe.

There is a boy called Ben who hangs around the library. He seems sweet and small and kind, and she sits at his table while she tries to work out algebra. He plays baseball, but he mostly paints and makes jokes, so everyone seems to like him and Trixie admires that.

She appreciates the non-judgemental silence as she struggles over Pythagoras one evening. Katya is at art club, and Trixie doesn’t feel like having to do the work in the flat where the heating is broken, so she bundles herself up in the library and watches Ben eat a chocolate muffin over the top of his book. He smiles warmly at her and offers a chunk, which she takes gladly - savouring the way it seems to melt in her mouth.

"That’s good,” she mutters appreciatively, mouth full and all too aware of the watchful eye of the librarian.

“I made them!” Ben responds, his cheeks flushing with excitement.

“And they’re not going to poison me?” Trixie asks as he offers her a full one from a Tupperware in his bag. He sticks his tongue out, shaking his head, before ducking down as the librarian looks their way.

you are not like the regulars the masquerade revellers drunk as they watch my shattered edges glisten

“I think Ben has a crush on me,” Trixie postures, approaching it slowly like one approaches a kitten stuck on a road. Katya, in many ways, is comparable to a scared kitten - whether it be her anxious quiver or the mess of her hair - soft, but tangled in a knot on her head.

Katya’s eyebrow quirks, though her mouth stays set. “I thought we said boys are dumb?” She tells Trixie firmly, feet planted in the damp October soil.

Trixie shifts her toes on the crunching leaves and the noise ripples through the forest.

“They are,” she agrees, quietly, “I don’t want one.” She feels like she’s having to defend herself and she doesn’t really know why. Her cheeks prickle red with heat.

Katya scowls, and Trixie’s quivers on instinct before pulling her shoulder back and standing up straight. The clouds rolling overhead seem greyer, but maybe that’s just a trick of the light.

“You can’t control who I’m friends with, Kat,” she advocates, the telltale signs of anger slipping into her tone as the pitch heightens with every word. She pulls the sleeves of her jumper over her palms so she can feel a little sense of security, and Katya’s face softens.

“I know,” Katya sighs. She falls down onto a log, brushing some of the bark off the edges. She shifts as it scrapes her legs through her trousers, but eventually settles, looking mournful. “I just don’t want to lose you.”

Trixie holds her hands in her own, feeling the clammy warmth.

“I promise you won’t.”

hush

part three. comfort

when you are young, they assume you know nothing

Trixie is fourteen, holding hands with Ben as they eat ice creams from the parlour down the street. Ben dots some of his onto her nose, and she flushes pink and flustered as he wipes it off with the pad of his thumb. He’s grown taller, face chiselling ever so slightly, although his cheeks remain doughy and soft. She has to refrain from imprinting her fingertips into the pale flesh just to watch it bounce back. She’s grown into herself, breasts growing until her mama had to take her to the department store, an hour away, to buy training bras in sizes larger than the local shops have in stock.

She blushes and goes back to her ice cream, the strawberry sauce dripping into her knuckles so she has to run her tongue along them, leaving only the faint hint of pink food-colouring trailing across her hand.

He presses his lips to her cheek, tongue skimming the tip of her soft serve on the way, and grins like a Cheshire cat. She relents, placing her lips on his for a peck, and his lips taste like chocolate sauce. It’s sweet.

It took her a few years to finally accept his constant asking her out, but they spent ninth grade canoodling in the library, hand swinging between them and lips pressed to each other’s cheeks. It’s nice.

The girls she changes with for gym class tell her she must be in love, but she’s always thought that love would feel more like fireworks rather than popping candy. It’s pleasant. She doesn’t know if she should want more.

but i knew you dancin’ in your levi’s drunk under a streetlight, i

Ben wanted more. He dumps her for Kelly Mantle, a drama student famed for giving Brian McCook a blowjob behind the smoker shelter.

She cries into Katya’s paint-splattered denim jacket, the blonde’s fingers worming their way around the fullness of her hips until Katya’s holding her.

Trixie sobs in hiccups, and Katya’s sorrow rolls in waves. She’s held the girl so many times in their friendship, but they swore it would never be over a boy. And now Trixie is clinging to her like a liferaft in the ocean and Katya cannot help but pull her ashore.

Katya guides her over to the blanket she’d thrown on the warm grass, and they collapse onto its cushioning. Katya holds her until all her sobs muffle into croaks, and then there is silence.

They eventually roll onto their backs, Katya’s arm resting under the nape of Trixie’s neck, and although she’s losing feeling in her fingers - she wouldn’t move it for the world. The sun is warm, bright and even across their exposed stomachs in crop tops that Anna gave them when her chest grew too large. Katya’s hangs limply, but Trixie’s is stretching to her body and moves gently with each breath. Katya could watch the hypnotic movements until the sunset.

The river at the bottom of the verge babbles softly. There’s a heron in it, tall and proud and searching eagerly for fish. Its beak hooks into the water and it pulls out a flapping anchovy - or so Katya tells her, fingertips painting the words into the skyline.

Sometimes Trixie feels like the heron, but most days, she supposes, she is the anchovy. She is only fourteen, but life is harder than she thought it would be. Heartbreak hurts more. Making daisy chains with a lifelong friend soothes the pain a little.

i knew you hand under my sweatshirt baby, kiss it better, i

The rips in Katya’s Levi’s let the grass brush her calves. She longs to pull Trixie up, drag her around on the grass till they’re dancing, but the sun is starting to burn orange on the horizon line and Trixie’s mam has never been one for letting her off curfew.

She tugs the blonde up, sleepy and satiated - brushes a thumb along the redness of her under-eyes. Trixie adorns her with a flower crown and in the headiness of the sunset, Katya blushes.

The sky goes from naphthol red to quinacridone. Trixie swings their hands together as they take the long road home. Their path is shaded by the trees, and a breeze causes goosebumps to appear all up her arms, so she tugs her sweatshirt on, and Katya carefully pulls her hair out of the back for her. She whispers something, but it is lost to the whistling of the leaves.

Sometimes Katya wishes they could go back to playing pirates. They could be pirate wives and gallivant about the woods, waving their sticks up high and pretending that they could always go home to each other. It would be easier, she muses, easier than enduring school with girls who call her a dyke and a lesbo and tell her not to look at them in gym class, when, really, she gets ready facing the corner. Pirate wives would be fanciful, but lovely nonetheless.

The softness of their footsteps stops as they reach the path to Trixie’s. It’s gravely and it crunches underfoot, but the streetlights cast shadows that make Katya yearn to dance with Trixie once more.

She gives in this time, pulling the younger girl into her arms so they can mock-waltz, imagining the streetlamps as spotlights and maybe their friendship as something more.

Katya’s hand slips onto the fullness of Trixie’s hip again, her skin hot under her cold palm.

“You’re my favourite,” Katya whispers, lips brushing the flyaways from Trixie’s ponytail. She cannot see the blonde blush, but she squirms a little in Katya’s arms and it makes her smirk.

“And you’re mine.”

and when i felt like i was an old cardigan under someone’s bed you put me on and said i was your favorite

They kiss under that streetlight.

It may be the first, but it’s the sweetest and the quickest and the kindest too - lips brushing like a promise. Trixie can’t say what she’s promising, but she’s pretty sure she’d promise her life away just to taste cola off Katya’s tongue again.

a friend to all is a friend to none chase two girls, lose the one when you are young, they assume you know nothing

part four. deception

make sure nobody sees you leave hood over your head, keep your eyes down tell your friends you're out for a run you’ll be flushed when you return

Katya pads quietly along the line - her socks not quite keeping out the 3am chill. She’ll have to wait until she’s out of the door to put her worn converse back on - the squeak of the soles bound to wake the whole flat up. She resists the urge to skid - knowing she’ll hit the front door with a thud that Trixie will struggle to pretend is the wind. It’s a calm night.

She’s left Trixie in bed - the duvet twisted around her recumbent form like a snake. She wishes, for a second, to turn around and snuggle back into the warmth of Trixie’s side. To sling a leg back over the plush of her thigh and rest her head on Trixie’s chest.

Cuddling, she decides, is god’s divine creation. And so is Trixie.

She manages to avoid the creaking floor panel in front of Mama Mattel’s bedroom door, hugging the wall opposite just to make it out unscathed.

She locks the door with the key Trixie gifted to her over summer - pressed at a locksmith two towns over. Mr Lackerty in the village centre would have asked too many questions. Trixie paid for it with her allowance, stealing change from her Mama to take the bus there and back. She’d gifted it to her in a little shoebox stuffed with pulled-apart tissue. Katya has cried.

Slipping on her shoes in the hall outside, she sighs in both relief and sadness. She leaves quickly.

take the road less travelled by tell yourself you can always stop what started in beautiful rooms ends with meetings in parking lots

Trixie shifts on the wooden desks - hoping her skirt won’t be covered in chalk and graphite when she gets up. She’s watching Katya, dark eyes trained on crystalline green, and Katya smiles up at her before focusing back on her canvas. Her tongue pokes out when she does something she deems good, her eyebrows scrunching in concentration.

The art room is empty except for the two of them and by the silence of the corridor outside, lunch isn’t over just yet. They’re safe.

It’s like their own little sanctuary, Katya with her paints and Trixie with her Katya. She gently brushes the girl’s fringe back whenever it looks in danger of getting messy - there’s already a streak of pink across the bridge of her nose, but Trixie doubts she’s noticed.

She starts humming to herself, an old song that she’s heard through the walls of the flat, and Katya looks up at her.

“You should sing more Trix,” she tells her, ever so earnest.

“You think?” Trixie tucks her hair behind her ears, eyes twinkling at the compliment.

“I do,” she muses, turning back to the painting so she can put a final stroke in place before she tugs on the edge of Trixie’s skirt.

Trixie brushes a hand at her, hoping there won’t be painted fingerprints on the corduroy before coming to stand behind Katya. She wraps her hands around her waist and balances her chin on Katya’s shoulder before finally allowing her eyes to fall on the canvas.

It’s the river. Their river.

And they’re on the banks.

Together.

and that’s the thing about illicit affairs and clandestine meetings and longing stares

Trixie turns sixteen in February. Her birthday is celebrated by the world even if they don’t realise it, pink hearts adorning every establishment in town. She spends the day with Courtney, as Pearl is smoking weed with her boyfriend from city college. He’s a forty-minute bus ride away on a good day, but Pearl says the sex is good, and Trixie just blushes softly because she shouldn’t know what Pearl is talking about, but she does.

She’s okay with it, though, spending the day without Pearl. She and Courtney get smoothies from the 'healthy’ diner that Courtney’s been going on about and talk about boys, and Trixie makes up most of her opinions, but that’s okay.

She decides that she’ll be attracted to Mathew because he’s tall and he’s got the same cheekbones, as Katya so she can just talk about that. Courtney’s raving about this guy called Danny that she wants to be friends with (make out with), apparently he’s in a band and he sings, and that makes Courtney positively ravenous for him.

They part ways after Courtney gives her the charm bracelet she and Pearl bought. It’s silver and has a little heart charm on it, but Courtney tells her not to worry, they can buy more.

It jingles, but it’s not as comfortable as the woven friendship bracelets she and Katya made when they were eleven.

Katya meets her by the river and they walk through the woods hand in hand till they reach the clearing where she’s laid out a picnic blanket.

They lay on it together, looking up at the sky and holding hands through their gloves.

“We met here,” Katya ponders, as she allows herself to get lost in the smell of cherries on Trixie’s breath.

“Huh,” Trixie replies, placing a gentle kiss on Katya’s nose, “I guess we did.” A blush spreads across her cheekbones and she feels the heat in her chest as she remembers the past few years.

“You’re my favourite,” Katya tells her, a whisper in the wind.

“And you’re mine.”

it’s born from just one single glance but it dies and it dies and it dies a million little times

They go through a rough patch. They’re only seventeen, it’s their god-given right to, and they’re hiding a secret that’s burning them both, slowly, but surely.

Katya spends more time with Danny and his band, and Trixie spends more time with Courtney and Pearl and Gigi and her boyfriend, who transferred at the end of last year. He’s got a mullet, and it’s confusing, but apparently it’s in fashion, so Trixie doesn’t try to argue.

They drift apart a little bit. It’s the kind of drifting where Trixie stares at Katya across the corridor - watches a boy with eyeliner compliment her rings in front of their lockers. Katya stares at Trixie too - watches her when Courtney and Pearl aren’t around to call her a dyke, and maybe she’s still hurt that Trixie chooses to be their friend.

She wonders what would happen if they knew where Trixie’s proclivities lie.

She slips a note into her locker, telling Trixie to meet her in the art room, 6th period on Thursday. It’s bound to be empty, the rest of the school busy with summer term exams and home study. She tells herself that she’ll wait till then. She can wait.

Trixie looks nervous when they meet, she’s pulling at one of her nails - the glossy pink peeling off.

“You wanted to see me?” She asks, voice low and cautious, and it breaks a little part of Katya that she doesn’t even realise is shattering.

“I’ve missed you,” Katya responds, honest and raw. She’s twisting her fingers together too, subconsciously mirroring Trixie, or whatever Danny was trying to tell her about psychology. Trixie nods slowly.

“I’ve missed you too,” she agrees, gulping air like she’s drowning. The tension is sucking all the air out of the room, but she’s only just noticed it’s ugly form. She manages a smile, and it’s softer than she thought she could muster.

“I love you, you know?”

Katya frowns, and it makes Trixie back into the table she’s been stood in front of.

“I don’t think you do,” Katya says, and suddenly the silence feels like it’s been shattered.

“Wh-” Trixie stutters, feeling like the air has been sucker-punched out of her lungs leaving her winded.

“I don’t think you do,” Katya repeats plainly, her eyes suddenly emptier than Trixie’s ever seen them. She’s gripping the table behind her so hard that her knuckles have gone white - gathering all her resolve because she’s sure she’ll crumble if she lets go for a second.

“Who are you to tell me what I feel?”

“You don’t.”

“Just because you’ve decided you can’t accept it.” Trixie’s indignant now, she wants to scream and shout and yell, but most of all - she just wants to understand.

“You don’t love me,” Katya says again. “You say you do, but you can’t. This hasn’t meant anything to me.” It’s a lie. She watches Trixie crumble and then pick herself back up again all in the space of a few seconds.

“You know what, you can go fuck yourself.” She throws it out there and watches it detonate - the harshest words she’s ever said to Katya.

She turns to leave, inhaling deeply to try and keep the tears in her eyes instead of streaming down her face where they want to be.

“Dyke,” she mutters as the door slams.

She leaves, and Katya finally falls apart.

look at this godforsaken mess that you made me you showed me colours you know i can’t see with anyone else

[x-jinxa-x]

Glitter and Snow

Happy Holidays Noahmarshallapologist! I am your Choices Gift Exchange!

Paring: Mutual Pinning Noah Marshall x MC (Jaz Park) Word Count: 1,756 Warnings: Set in 2020 during the pandemic Notes: Set after ILB, Jaz is human again, small crossover with Home For the Holidays, and is set in 2020 so pandemic is mentioned and they are wearing masks. Also, takes place on Christmas Eve.  Edit:@choicesgiftexchange​

Turning off the engine of the car, Noah let out a long tired sigh, stretching out his arms the driver’s seat of the car in an attempt to work out the stiffness in his body. 

It had been a long drive. He had been driving for almost five hours all together, stopping occasionally to refill the gas and take a bathroom break. 

He looked out the windshield to the sight in front of the car. The sun had set a short while ago and dark clouds were now filling the sky above. He couldn’t quite remember when, but it had set just in time.  

He turned his attention to the Jaz, who was bundled up in her black hoodie and fast asleep in the passenger’s seat. 

She had slept through most of the drive, like she usually did during the day. The sun still affected her like she was still a monster despite her newly revived body. She could make it through very cloudy and dark rainy days, but if the sun was out at any point she would be suffering from some kind of pain that would lead to her sleeping throughout the rest of the day till sunset. 

“Hey Jaz…” Noah reached over, poking her shoulder gently to wake her.

Jaz shifted in the passenger’s seat, turning her head towards him and cracking her eyes open. “…Hm?”

“We’re here.” He pulled his hand back, watching her and waiting for her reaction. 

She yawned, sitting up and rubbing the sleep from her eyes. “And just where is here?” She asked, turning her head to look out the windshield to the sight in front of them. 

Her barely opened eyes widened quickly as she registered the bright golden glow Christmas lights and giant tree covered with large glittering ornaments that he had parked close to. There were large glittery snowmen, light displays in varying colors and figures, and a series of candy cane markers that seemed to make up a path that lead deeper into the town. 

“Winter Haven.” He answered. He glanced at Jaz but quickly looked away, finding it hard to look her in the eye. “Conner told me about it a while back. The town apparently goes all out during the holidays and…and well, I just thought you’d like it.”

She turned her head to him, a wide and bright grin spread across her face. “I love it.” 

He pressed his lips, trying to suppress the smile that wanted to form at her words. Warmth spread across his cheeks. He had hoped that she would like the place, but there had been a cloud of doubt that had hung over his head throughout the drive here that nearly made him turn around and abandon the whole idea. Her smile made him glad that he didn’t. 

Jaz stuck her hand into the pocket of her hoodie, digging around inside for a moment, before pulling out her mask. “Do you want to look around?”

“Yeah.” Noah nodded, pulling out his own black mask. That was kind of the point of coming. Part of him wanted to say no and crawl into the backseat of the car to recover from the long drive, but the rest of him wanted to see her reaction to the lights.  

The two put their masks on before exiting the car and making their way towards the lights. There weren’t many people around though the few that were had their own masks on and were keeping a distance from each other. Masks definitely made it easier to go around in public. Noah had worried about people recognizing either of them, he had gone through some close calls in his time on the run, but the masks kept strangers from making second glances at them.  

Jaz was entranced by the displays made of light around them. Her eyes bounced around the area, trying to take in everything that glittered in the glowing Christmas lights. She stepped forward, diving further down the pathway made of plastic candy canes that lead the way through the lights stepping quickly to see what was next around the corner. 

Noah watched her go, unable to fight the smile that formed on his lips. 

It was still hard to believe... 

Jaz was really back…

It was still hard to believe she was back and now traveling with him wherever he could think was safe. Sometimes it felt like a dream he was going to be ripped away from. He had hoped he could find some way to help her, to keep his promise of making her human again, but...he still couldn’t believe the ritual had really worked.  

It had been a risk. Tom’s friend had been the one to find the thing in one of their grandmother’s old books that had been locked away by their grandfather. Conner had worried over the risks that came along with the ritual, Tom’s friend was nervous about anything that involved magic given the whole fighting a cult and their ghostly grandmother thing, but Jocelyn had argued that the risk had to be worth it. 

For once, Noah had agreed with Jocelyn. He had to take the risk. Jaz had been trapped in the woods for far too long and he had been struggling to find anything that could help her. He had to take the first chance he got, and thankfully, it had paid off. 

He kept his promise to her. 

He brought Jaz back.

“Noah?” He snapped out of his thoughts. Jaz was standing in front of him, holding two white paper coffee cups in her gloved hands. “What’s up?”

“…Nothing. Just a little tired.” He said with a shrug. It wasn’t a complete lie, he was tired from the drive but he could hold out for a little longer. His eyes went to the cups in Jaz’s hands and he rose an eyebrow out of curiosity. “What’s that?”

“Free apple cider.” Jaz said with a casual shrug of her own. “The lady at the stand was out of hot chocolate but it was free.” 

“Thanks Jaz.” Noah took the cup from her. As he took hold of it a white flake spiraled down onto the white lid. “Huh?” He pulled the cup away, wondering just what had fallen on his lid. Maybe it was a piece of glitter from one of the giant ornaments hanging around them. 

“Whoa…” Jaz’s amazed whisper beside him was soft and could have easily been missed is he wasn’t standing across from her. He looked to her and found she was turned away from him, her head tilted up to the sky above. Another white speck floated down, followed by another, and another, and another...

Snow. It was snow.

It was snowing. It was Christmas Eve and it was snowing…

Noah let out a chuckle. “This is something out of a hallmark movie…” He moved to stand beside Jaz. He turned his head to look at the dark night sky above, amazed by the sudden snowfall. It wasn’t his first experience with snow, but it was the first time he felt a swell of excitement at the sight in years. 

“Yeah…” Jaz spoke beside him, but she didn’t sound okay.

Noah turned to look at her. Her head was turned down, looking at her boots. The excitement that had  

Noah pressed his lips behind his mask. 

He couldn’t see her whole face, but the way her head turned down to the ground made a knot twist inside of his chest. It was great to have her back, but there were consequences for doing so. A legally dead girl couldn’t just step back into society and move on, especially when there was a big question about just how human she was now that she was back. Some part of the power was still with her and it still affected her.

She couldn’t go back to Westchester, she couldn’t reunite with her old friends, she couldn’t go back home, and even if she could, bringing her suspected murder to see her parents for Christmas dinner probably wasn’t the best idea.

He reached his free hand to take hold of her empty hand. That caused her to look up from her feet and to meet his eyes. There was a curious look on her face. Noah suddenly found himself unable to speak. There was something he wanted to say, that he had wanted to tell her for a while since he had come to the realization.  

Noah blinked at her, mouth open, unable to speak.

Jaz blinked back at him, mouth closed, waiting patiently for him. 

They stayed like that in silence for a long moment before Noah finally sound something to say. 

“Um…Merry Christmas Jaz…” 

He turned his head way to look at his own shoes, cheeks warming with embarrassment. He should have just stayed quiet...

It wasn’t what he wanted to say, but now…now wasn’t the time to tell her. It was still too soon, she was still getting used to being back and having to be on the run with him.

He could tell her later, once they figured out…whatever this was becoming. Maybe.

He was about to pull his hand away when Jaz suddenly laid her head on his shoulder, causing his back to stiffen out of shock. What was she doing? Why was she doing it?  

“Merry Christmas Noah…” She spoke softly. Her hand gave his a gentle squeeze. He stared at the Christmas display across from them, a lit up snowman, just to focus on anything and keep himself from saying something stupide to ruin the moment. Jaz continued, either not noticing Noah’s silence or choosing to ignore it for the moment. “And…thanks, for this. It’s really sweet.”

Noah felt his cheeks grow warmer at her words.  

Jaz pulled her head away from his shoulder but didn’t pull her hand out of the hold. “I heard a kid freaking out because there’s a dinosaur dressed like Santa. Wanna try and find it?”

Noah looked at her and nodded, still unable to speak. He wasn’t sure if he could even try and no to her right now, or even say anything at all.   

She stepped away from him and he had expected her to pull her hand away from his, but she didn’t. When he started to loosen his, she gave his hand a squeeze and pulled him along, not letting his go.  

She didn’t let his hand go until they had to go back to the car almost an hour later. 

[briannajones]

[SAMANTHA LOGAN, F, SHE/HER] who’s that? oh it’s {BRIANNA “BRI” JONES}. i hear they’re {SIXTEEN} and a {JUNIOR} at {WMHS}, and are part of {ATHLETIC DEPARTMENT TA, VOLLEYBALL}. they’re known to be {AGREEABLE, RESILIENT} and {UNSURE, DISSATISFIED}. some people say they remind them of {A CLIPBOARD IN HAND, WALKING ON CRUTCHES, JOYFUL FAMILY DINNERS, UNANSWERED PRAYERS, AND IMMEASURABLE FRUSTRATION }. only one way to find out! [syd]

basics

Full Name: Brianna Dee Jones Nicknames: Bri, Broanna, BJ Birthday: May 4th Age: 16 Place of Birth: Lima, Ohio Sexuality: Heterosexual Education: High School Junior Activities: Volleyball (formerly), Athletic Department TA

astrology

Sun: Taurus Moon: Aries Rising: Pisces

likes/dislikes

Likes: summer days, cute hydroflasks, cacti, baking, family game night. Dislikes: crutches, the nickname “bj”, physical therapy, cold colors.

tl;dr bio

Bri Jones was set to be Volleyball Captain her senior year of high school, but tearing her ACL early on in her junior year season has left that goal far out of sight. While she’s still in recovery, she’s ready to make a full comeback for her senior year. In the mean time, her Uncle Sam has set her up as a “Teacher’s Assistant” for the Athletic Department to give her something to do in the mean time. With this newfound role in Mckinley’s walls and her agreeable disposition, Bri has found herself stuck as “one of the boys.” Beyond wanting to be fully healed, she also wouldn’t mind being seen as a girl.

bio

On a bright and sunny saturday in May, a very pregnant Mercedes Evans wheeled down the halls of Lima Memorial Hospital, husband and son in tow, to go meet the newest edition of the Jones-Evans clan, little Brianna Dee. Despite being older than Mercedes, Devon put his career before his family, and allowed himself to become an established Pastor before him and his wife, Angela, chose to have children. Once that choice was made, it was like within the blink of an eye, Devon and Angela’s only daughter was born at three pm on the dot. Brianna was a perfect child from birth. Like most babies, she cried when she met the cool sting of the world, but once she was placed in her mother’s arms, Bri hardly fussed. She just laid there and slept like an angel. Oddly enough, this type of passive behavior would stick with her from there on out.

Growing up, Bri was always close with her cousins and their family. Weekly family dinners were tradition and she loved getting to go to school with Cam and Jaz. She loved playing with them, going to their house, and spending time with the Evans’ as a whole. Whether it be the loving advice she got from her Aunt Mercedes to stand up for herself, or from her Uncle Sam on how to throw a football better, it was like she had all sorts of adults and friends around to teach her about the world she was living in.

Devon might have been a Pastor, but the older Bri got, the less faith she found. Sure, she grew up going to mass every Sunday, and being heavily involved within the church, but it isn’t something she wholeheartedly is passionate about like her father. Similarly, she doesn’t hate her Father’s profession. She still helps out at the Church and tries to keep the Jones name clean. Even with these reservations, Bri loves and admires her Father too much to raise her questions and cause issues. Instead, she plays her part happily as preacher’s daughter. Just like Bri always went to services with her father, Bri had always been an athlete. At a time, she wanted to be a singer like her Aunt, but with little to no musical talent, she fell in love with sports. And eventually Volleyball.

Reaching high school, Bri found quick success in Volleyball and was fast to make her sport her whole life. Despite being an underclassmen, she was one of the better girls on the team, and there were even talks of her getting to a point where she could be Captain Senior year. She bonded with the girls on the team and with middling popularity, athletic ability, and a noncontroversial tongue, she was usually safe from some of the brutal slushying that went on behind Mckinley’s walls. Bri has never tried to make a lot of friends, but with her sense of self relying on what others anticipate her being, she’ll often serve as a yes man to whoever she’s speaking with. While some might find this to be a problem, Bri figures, what else is adolescence first if not self discovery?

For the first half of her athletic career, she maintained the routine of play volleyball, get good grades, train, go to church with Dad, and repeat. That was until at the beginning of the 2040 Volleyball season, Bri wound up tearing her ACL. This meant she’d be out for a minimum of three months, which meant no volleyball for the year. Bri was devastated. Humiliated. Frustrated. She felt helpless and downtrodden for the first chunk of her injury. Her Father’s solution was naturally to assure this was part of God’s plan, and she just had to pray for a swift and full recovery. But no matter what Bri did, it seemed she couldn’t pray hard enough. This only worsened her defeated mood. When she returned to school, luckily, her Uncle Sam had a plan to help her turn the beat around.

With ties in the athletic department, he set his niece up as “Teacher’s Assistant to the Athletic Department.” which really has just been proven to be a fancy way to say glorified sports team manager. Oddly enough, Bri doesn’t mind the responsibility. In fact, it gives her a sense of purpose. Turns out sitting on the bench for the latter half of football season wound her up with a whole team of guys to supplement the friends who hadn’t even checked in on her after her injury wasn’t half bad! Now she manages multiple sports teams, and is just happy to be involved. While it’s a touch lost on her how she wound up accepted into the jock-guy circle, she rather enjoys it, BJ and Broanna name calling and all. Some have suggested it’s due to her affinity to just agree with and validate whatever, but that couldn’t possibly be the only reason.

 Regardless, Bri is happy to have found this new sense of community while she works on recovering and preparing for the next season of volleyball. Though lately, she’s begun to wonder, is it entirely worth it to be looked at as one of the boys?

[faraway-wanderer]

QUEER YA READS happy pride month here’s a list of lots of queer YA books!!

-          The Henna Wars- Abida Jaigirdar When Nishat comes out to her parents, they say she can be anyone she wants—as long as she isn’t herself. Because Muslim girls aren’t lesbians. Nishat doesn’t want to hide who she is, but she also doesn’t want to lose her relationship with her family. And her life only gets harder once a childhood friend walks back into her life. Flávia is beautiful and charismatic and Nishat falls for her instantly. Amidst sabotage and school stress, their lives get more tangled—but Nishat can’t quite get rid of her crush on Flávia, and realizes there might be more to her than she realized

-          Red, White and Royal Blue- Casey Mcquinston   First Son Alex Claremont-Diaz is the closest thing to a prince this side of the Atlantic. With his intrepid sister and the Veep’s genius granddaughter, they’re the White House Trio, a beautiful millennial marketing strategy for his mother, President Ellen Claremont. International socialite duties do have downsides—namely, when photos of a confrontation with his longtime nemesis Prince Henry at a royal wedding leak to the tabloids and threaten American/British relations.

-          You should see me in a crown- Leah Johnson Liz Lighty has always believed she's too black, too poor, too awkward to shine in her small, rich, prom-obsessed midwestern town. But it's okay -- Liz has a plan that will get her out of Campbell, Indiana, forever: attend the uber-elite Pennington College, play in their world-famous orchestra, and become a doctor.But when the financial aid she was counting on unexpectedly falls through, Liz's plans come crashing down . . . until she's reminded of her school's scholarship for prom king and queen

-          Tell me How you Really Feel- Aminah Mae Safi Sana Khan is a cheerleader and a straight A student. She's the classic (somewhat obnoxious) overachiever determined to win.Rachel Recht is a wannabe director who's obsesssed with movies and ready to make her own masterpiece. As she's casting her senior film project, she knows she's found the perfect lead - Sana.There's only one problem. Rachel hates Sana. Rachel was the first girl Sana ever asked out, but Rachel thought it was a cruel prank and has detested Sana ever since.

-          Like a love story- Abdi Nazemian It's 1989 in New York City, and for three teens, the world is changing.

-          I Wish You All the Best- Mason Deaver At turns heartbreaking and joyous, I Wish You All the Best is both a celebration of life, friendship, and love, and a shining example of hope in the face of adversity.

-          The Falling in Love Montage- Ciara Smyth Saoirse doesn’t believe in love at first sight or happy endings. If they were real, her mother would still be able to remember her name and not in a care home with early onset dementia. A condition that Saoirse may one day turn out to have inherited. So she’s not looking for a relationship. She doesn’t see the point in igniting any romantic sparks if she’s bound to burn out. But after a chance encounter at an end-of-term house party, Saoirse is about to break her own rules. For a girl with one blue freckle, an irresistible sense of mischief, and a passion for rom-coms.

-          The Fascinators- Andrew Eliopulos Living in a small town where magic is frowned upon, Sam needs his friends James and Delia—and their time together in their school's magic club—to see him through to graduation.But as soon as senior year starts, little cracks in their group begin to show. Sam may or may not be in love with James. Delia is growing more frustrated with their amateur magic club. And James reveals that he got mixed up with some sketchy magickers over the summer, putting a target on all their backs.

-          The Dark Tide- Alicia Jaskina The Wicked Deep meets A Curse So Dark and Lonely in this gripping, dark fairy-tale fantasy about two girls who must choose between saving themselves, each other, or their sinking island city

-          Summer of Salt – Katrina Leno Georgina Fernweh waits with growing impatience for the tingle of magic in her fingers—magic that has been passed down through every woman in her family. Her twin sister, Mary, already shows an ability to defy gravity. But with their eighteenth birthday looming at the end of this summer, Georgina fears her gift will never come.

-          Sawkill Girls- Claire Legrand Marion: the new girl. Awkward and plain, steady and dependable. Weighed down by tragedy and hungry for love she’s sure she’ll never find. Zoey: the pariah. Luckless and lonely, hurting but hiding it. Aching with grief and dreaming of vanished girls. Maybe she’s broken—or maybe everyone else is. Val: the queen bee. Gorgeous and privileged, ruthless and regal. Words like silk and eyes like knives, a heart made of secrets and a mouth full of lies.

-          The Priory of the Orange Tree- Samantha Shannon A world divided. A queendom without an heir. An ancient enemy awakens. The House of Berethnet has ruled Inys for a thousand years. Still unwed, Queen Sabran the Ninth must conceive a daughter to protect her realm from destruction – but assassins are getting closer to her door. Ead Duryan is an outsider at court. Though she has risen to the position of lady-in-waiting, she is loyal to a hidden society of mages. Ead keeps a watchful eye on Sabran, secretly protecting her with forbidden magic. Across the dark sea, Tané has trained to be a dragonrider since she was a child, but is forced to make a choice that could see her life unravel.

-          I was Born for this- Alice Oseman For Angel Rahimi, life is only about one thing: The Ark – a pop-rock trio of teenage boys who are currently taking the world by storm. Being part of The Ark’s fandom has given her everything – her friendships, her dreams, her place in the world. Jimmy Kaga-Ricci owes everything to The Ark too. He’s their frontman – and playing in a band is all he’s ever dreamed of doing. It’s just a shame that recently everything in his life seems to have turned into a bit of a nightmare.

-          Summer Bird Blue  Akemi Dawn Bowman- Bowman’s sophomore novel follows Rumi, a young musician plagued with grief and survivor’s guilt after her younger sister is killed in a car crash. Her mother sends her to liver with her aunt in Hawaii, and is also now mourning the loss of the music she would create with her sister and is unable to recapture her passion. As she navigates her loss, and feelings of abandonment from her mother, Rumi is also starting new relationships with neighbors, one a cute, easygoing surfer boy, and the other a irascible 80-year-old crankypants, while also becoming comfortable with her aromantic and asexual feelings.An immersive aromantic, asexual journey through grief and understanding.

-          Felix Ever after- Kacen Callender   a novel about a transgender teen grappling with identity and self-discovery while falling in love for the first time.

-          The Stars and The Blackness Between Them - Junauda Petrus Audre and Mabel, Black girls who find romance just in time for everything to fall even further apart.

-          By any means necessary- Candice Montgomery By Any Means Neccesary dives into the intersection of race and sexuality through the lens of its main character, Torrey, a gay Black college student.

-          Her Royal Highness -Rachel Hawkins- When Millie Quint discovers her best friend-turned-girlfriend has been kissing someone else, she decides to get as far away from her as possible – by going to boarding school on the opposite side of the globe. The only issue? Millie’s new roomate is the actual princess of Scotland.

-          Tash Hearts Tolstoy - Kathryn Omsbee, Natasha Zelenka (Tash), is a serious fangirl of Leo Tolstoy and a rising YouTube star with her webseries Unhappy Families, a modern-day adaptation of Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina, and Vlog, Tea with Tash. When a famous vlogger gives a shout out to the series, it goes viral. Now she, along with the cast and crew, are finding what it means to be a hit sensation and are managing the adoration, and the trolls, coming their way. Tash, a romantic asexual, has had a long time crush on the hit vlogger star Thom, who, as her online popular grows, so does Thom’s attention. Amidst the fame and romance, Tash is also dealing with her older sister creating distance, her parents announcing a new sibling on the way, college applications, the impending end of the series, and the big “What’s next.”An asexual romantic comedy coming of age.

-          Full Disclosure- Camryn Garratt Camryn Garrett’s debut novel follows a Black, HIV-positive teen as she explores her first romantic relationship. There are few books that discuss what it’s like to live with HIV, especially those that are light, relatable, and told through the lens of a young Black girl.

-          The Black Flamingo- Dean Atta Atta pens a coming-of-age story about a boy accepting his identity as a mixed-race gay teen, but then finds a place where he belongs as a drag artist named The Black Flamingo.

-          Juniper Leaves- Jaz Joyner   Kinky-haired  Juniper Bray used to believe in magic, until she lost her best friend: her grandmother. Now this 15-year-old shy girl is headed to her father's research trip on a farm hundreds of miles away, with a family she barely knows and the opposite of a best friend, her new arch nemesis, Bree Mckinney. As if she wasn't miserable enough. Little does she know the next few months Juniper will discover magical powers she never knew she had, get a crush on a girl she never knew she'd like and well, quite frankly, save the world.

-          Crier’s War - Nina Varela ‘In a world where humans are dominated by superior Automae, one human girl called Ayla takes the role of handmaiden to the Automae Lady Crier in order to help the human rebellion. But to Ayla’s horror, she finds herself falling for Crier.’

-          Queen of Coin and Whispers  Helen Corcoran -When a teenage queen inherits her uncle’s bankrupt kingdom, she brings with her a new spymaster – a girl who only accepted the role to avenge her murdered father. But faced with enemies at every turn, the two learn to rely on no one but each other . . . though it may bring their downfall.

-          Huntress- Malinda Lo – Ill fortune has befallen the land, and two girls have been tasked with the mission of setting things right. As Kaede and Taisin journey to the city of the Fairy Queen, adventure and romance awaits.

-          This Song Is (Not) for You - Laura Nowlin- This is not your usual love triangle. Ramona has been in love with her best friend and bandmate Sam for a long time, Sam has also been in love Ramona. When Tom joins the band, he completes them. Now Ramona is starting to have feelings for Tom, and those feelings are reciprocated. Tom is a romantic asexual, whose asexuality is fully explored

-          Seven Tears at High Tide-  C.B. Lee – After Kevin Luong drops, yup, seven tears into the sea, he ends up rescuing a boy from the waters. It’s love at first sight for Morgan who, unknown to Kevin, is a Selkie.

-          Loveless -Alice Oseman- (out on the 9th July!!) Georgia has never been in love, never kissed anyone, never even had a crush – but as a fanfic-obsessed romantic she’s sure she’ll find her person one day.As she starts university with her best friends, Pip and Jason, in a whole new town far from home, Georgia’s ready to find romance, and with her outgoing roommate on her side and a place in the Shakespeare Society, her ‘teenage dream’ is in sight. But when her romance plan wreaks havoc amongst her friends, Georgia ends up in her own comedy of errors, and she starts to question why love seems so easy for other people but not for her. With new terms thrown at her – asexual, aromantic – Georgia is more uncertain about her feelings than ever.

-          The Last Beginning- Lauren James-  (you probably need to read the next together first which I HIGHLY recommend) Sixteen years ago, after a scandal that rocked the world, teenagers Katherine and Matthew vanished without a trace. Now Clove Sutcliffe is determined to find her long lost relatives.But where do you start looking for a couple who seem to have been reincarnated at every key moment in history? Who were Kate and Matt? Why were they born again and again? And who is the mysterious Ella, who keeps appearing at every turn in Clove's investigation? For Clove, there is a mystery to solve in the past and a love to find in the future, and failure could cost the world everything.

[doof-doofblog]

"You And Me, We're Done, For Good!"

Double Episode Catch-Up

Monday 1st March - Tuesday 2nd March 2021

Hello again everyone! Hope your week is going well so far! I've decided again today that in a desperate attempt to catch up, I'm going to do another post reviewing two episodes. I feel my last post went well and the way I wrote it felt really good, so I'm hoping this one will be the same. So I'll be reviewing the episodes of Monday and Tuesday this week,

Wow, wow, wow!!! An emotional dramatic roller-coaster that's for sure! Okay so I feel there are two main things to focus on, but before we start on them I'm going to start with Whitney and Gray. So after Valentine's Day it looks as if Whitney and Kush have been having a secret fling. Their romance hasn't come to knowledge for everyone yet, as they appear to be enjoying each other's company, Whitney is ushered away as Gray contacts her to look after the children. Of course, being how kind, caring and understanding Kush is, lets her go to do her job at childminding. Whitney goes a out her day looking after the kids, but when Gray comes home asking where the children are, Whitney informs him that they're playing with Raymond over at Denise's, now I get Gray would be concerned as Lucas has returned, but he has no knowledge about Lucas, plus the children wouldn't be there unsupervised, Denise wouldn't allow that considering what she knows, so I feel Gray getting angry with Whitney was completely unnecessary - but then again, when has Gray ever done something which is necessary?! Something tells me if he flips about Whitney letting his children go out to play, how the heck is he going to react when he learns she's been building a relationship with Kush?! It's been known that Gray has hold a spark for Whitney, but it looks as if she just sees him as a mate - I fear what's going to happen when Gray learns about Whitney and Kush, what do you guys think?!  

--

Awwwww Isaac and Lola?! I wasn't sure I was going to enjoy this relationship? I always did love Lola being with Jay, but I'm beginning to think that this could really go somewhere! It looks as if Isaac really does have strong feelings for Lola and after recent events of confronting his Mother to deal with his diagnosis, he's ready to tell Lola about his condition. As they enjoy another date, they were discussing movies and I have to be honest, I loved this moment, I enjoyed how natural it was. The banter, the laughing, genuinely getting to know each other more, but the interesting moment when Lola tells him to reveal something to her that she doesn't know about him, he does look a bit scared, a bit hesitant to tell her the truth, but eventually he admits that he has schizophrenia.

Now understandably, this would worry Lola. But I think she dealt the news brilliantly! Very understanding, caring - almost as if it didn't matter. She's still willing to go on dates with him and even move further into a relationship. However when she's back home after the date, maybe just to put her mind at rest, she tries asking a type of "Alexa" whether schizophrenia is dangerous, but it looks as if it doesn't work and the device doesn't respond. Just then, Isaac arrives with desserts with huge happy smiles across his face, but Lola kind of digs herself a hole when the device has a delayed response, informing her about schizophrenia right in front of Isaac. I do feel this was a little awkward, predictable maybe, but it made for brilliant viewing. Even Isaac finds the funny side and admits that he understands her concern and reassures her about any worries she may have for the future. Even the following scene where they're enjoying their dessert together, I love how Isaac is reminiscing about his teenage years and informing Lola of the time he told a friend about his diagnosis, I found it really really moving.

As I explained in my last post, I don't know the full detail when it comes to schizophrenia, I had to do a bit of research to understand, but I'll be interested to see if Isaac's condition deteriorates or becomes worse. Isn't it a bit predictable? Isaac finds happiness with Lola, only for his illness to escalate and go out of control? This is EastEnders after all, nothing is ever simple or easy and happiness doesn't last for very long. I'll be interested to see if they do an episode which focuses completely on Isaac and his mental health, as they've done with Stacey and Bobby in previous episodes, I think it would be great for the viewers to learn and understand what schizophrenia entails for those suffering with it.

--

Okay so finally I know the name of character, it's Stas!!!!! After how many episodes now? Three maybe? His name is pronounced loud and clear! (Also thank you to a few subtitles!). Okay so this story regarding Ben, Kheerat and Stas kind of makes sense. So Ben and Kheerat have joined forces in a way to do business with Stas. Did anyone else feel for Vinny though? I felt bad the way Vinny was dragged into all of this. I think Vinny hesitates when he learns that his brother is doing business with Mitchell's but also states that it'll be a bold move to get their family name out there and heard of.

Things seem to be going well for a Panesar's, that is until a dodgy shoplifter is spotted in their shop, both Kheerat and Vinny take it upon themselves to lock the shoplifter in the shop and confront them. Can I also just mention how brilliant Kheerat was in this scene, it was a strong and powerful performance from Jaz Deol. I don't know why I loved it so much, but I felt like it was a type of speech that we've never seen before, well maybe apart from Masood a few years back. I kind of see Kheerat as a younger version of Masood in a way, what do you think?! Eventually a plan is put in place for Ben, Kheerat and Stas to meet at the Arches. As far as I can make out, Stas is expecting for receive his money - money for what, I don't know? But either way Kheerat tries to reassure Stas that his "Dirty money" will be delivered. The one moment that did grab my attention though is when Stas basically insulted Ben about his sexuality, I mean - how dare he!

As time drags on, Stas seems to get a little impatient for his money and from the looks of things, Vinny is meant to be the one who's delivering the money. Stas starts to lose his temper and pulls out a gun, in an attempt to hurry things along he puts on some music as a timer for when he wants his money to be delivered, but unbeknown to everyone, as Vinny is rushing to get the money to the Arches on time, he gets approached by the shoplifter along with a huge gang, cornering him in his path. It's far to say that as the music is continuing to play, both Ben and Kheerat are fearing for their life as Stas threatens to blow up the building as a he points a gun to a gas canister. Poor Vinny is trapped, he tries his best to fight his way out of the brawl, backing into the Vic. Luckily as he enters the pub, he sees Callum sat at the bar, in a desperate attempt to get away safely, he asks Callum for his help. But little does Callum know what he's getting himself involved in, especially considering his job role.

Only, how Callum does help Vinny remains to be seen, as we don't see exactly what Callum does. But eventually, Vinny makes it to the Arches, even though he's late and music has stopped playing, both Ben and Kheerat have managed to talk Stas round in the meantime. Ben admits to his ex-business partner that he had called him "Mad" in the past, but that does not mean that he's stupid. I have to admit watch all this drama unfold, it was pretty exciting stuff, dramatic and very suspenseful. Eventually, Vinny arrives safe and sound with his money still all in tact in the bag, I guess you could say Kheerat and Ben are more than relieved to see his appearance. Kheerat mentions that everything can be forgotten if Stas leaves with the money now and he'll make sure that Stas is given his money every month. As things begin to settle down and Stas leaves with his money, everyone else returns to the Panesar business, Kheerat questions Ben as to whether Stas has always been so erratic in his ways, to which Ben admits he is. Has Kheerat got himself in too deep? As Ben turns his attention to Vinny and questions why he was so late, Vinny reveals to them that he had to ask Callum for help, which completely sends Kheerat in a panic! Considering Callum's job role, who knows what would've happened if Callum had found out the truth? Kheerat voices his disappointment in his brother, claiming that if anything comes back to haunt them, then it's on his head! I do kind of feel for Vinny at this point as well, and when he bumps into Callum later on in the street, it looks as if he's beginning to question his involvement in his brother's business. Does he really want to be handling dodgy deals with his brother and Ben Mitchell? Does he perhaps want to take a different route and do something different with his life? Even Callum admits he could become a police officer, PC Vinny Panesar - who knows?

As Ben returns home after his eventful day, he bumps into Stas for one last time. Showing a bit of interest, he questions who it was who told him the Mitchell's were backstabbing him. It's then that Kat is seen leaving the pub, Stas clocks on to her and informs Ben that it was actually her who blabbed. But the interesting is, how is Ben going to react when he learns Kat has been sleeping with his Dad?! THAT I am looking forward to seeing! Are Phil and Kat actually a serious thing? Or simply just a bit of fun?

--

Okay, so we have to talk about Ruby don't we? Poor Ruby! I think I'm beginning to feel more sorry for her as time goes on. I don't condone the lying and scheming that she's done, but no one deserves to go through losing a baby, it's the most heart-breaking thing anyone can go through. It's the day after her miscarriage and it looks as if she just wants to carry on, heading to work might even take her mind off of a few things, but Martin tries to persuade her to stay at home. But as Ruby is adamant she wants to go to wrong, she gets an excruciating pain. As Ruby is rushed to hospital, it looks as if Stacey is at home feeling nothing but guilt, does she fear that it's her fault that Ruby lost her baby? I mean, she didn't do anything to harm her, but due to all her stress, could that have caused Ruby to have a miscarriage?

It's eventually revealed that Ruby has suffered a haemorrhage after her miscarriage and they need to empty her womb. I have to say the performances from both James Bye and Louisa Lytton have been brilliant during these episodes, having to watch a young couple grieve for their lost baby, it's devastating! Poor Martin doesn't know how to console his wife, he simply can't find the right words to comfort her. He returns home to get her some more comfortable clothing when Stacey approaches, of course she's riddled with guilt and remorse, she deeply apologises to Martin. I think after everything she and Martin have been through, they know each other better than anyone, so when Martin admits he doesn't know how to be there for Ruby, Stacey tells her ex-husband that all Ruby needs is for him to talk to her, to know how he's feeling, it'll give her some comfort that she's not having to go through this all on her own.

Returning to the hospital, Martin finally finds the courage to open up to his wife. Earlier she questioned why he wasn't angry for losing his child. But he admits that he hasn't gotten past the sad stage, he's still upset and grieving for the child they've lost. He admits that when Ruby announced she was pregnant, he was terrified to begin with, but then he came comfortable with the idea and it made him happy to be a Dad again and to bring up a child with her. It would've completed their family. It looks as if this is what Ruby has been waiting to hear, she's needed to know exactly how her husband has been feeling, it seems this is the first time he's been completely open with her. I found this whole entire storyline so touching you know, upsetting as well as touching, dramatic. Performances from everyone involved have been incredible!

I kind of feel Stacey also as she's having to deal with the knowledge that she was there when Ruby fell, could she have done something more to help her? If they hadn't been arguing, she probably wouldn't have fell? All these questions would understandably going round and round in her head! As she stands on the Square with a bunch of flowers, she watches as Ruby and Martin return home from the hospital. Kush notices her and offers to go with her for support. As they enter their house, Ruby is pretty much stunned to see Stacey walking in with a bunch of flowers, I think she almost takes it as an insult. Stacey pleads for them to stop fighting and arguing, too much has no happened because of their horrendous arguments. But Ruby seems to have none of it, maybe she feels that there's too much water under the bridge for them ever to rekindle their friendship. Ruby then drops the false blow that Stacey was to blame for her miscarriage because she had pushed her down the stairs.

Now this is a false accusation, I don't how guys see this, but Stacey did not push her. Ruby followed Stacey up the stairs, but as Stacey turned, Ruby's ankle gave way and she fell. Stacey denies the allegation and pleads for Martin to understand that she'd never do something like that. But then Ruby takes it one step further by revealing to her husband that both Stacey and Kush locked her in the office and forced her to take a pregnancy test to prove to them that she was in fact pregnant. As awful and disgusting that was, Stacey tries to fight her corner, claiming that she was just looking out for her ex-husband. Ruby had been lying about so much and they feel they had good reason to check whether she was telling the truth or not.

As everyone continues to argue, poor Martin is just sat there as everything seems to sink in, the loss of his child, the accusation against Stacey and then revelation of how they treated Ruby. It all gets completely too much for him, causing him to completely explode. Telling them all to stop arguing, he exits the room and leaves the house, Kush following to console his best mate. But Martin appears to be absolutely furious, lashing out at Kush and punching him to the floor. Kush tells his friend to punch him again if it makes him feel any better, but he also reminds Martin that he knows exactly how he's currently feeling. Kush has been there! He's lost a child! I think some people do sometimes forget about that, it was one of the most tear-jerking moments I have ever seen on EastEnders, when Kush and Shabnam lost their son, Zaair.

The next scene between Martin and Kush is really loved, it was sad, moving and to be honest, it was nice having Kush remember holding his still-born son. Devastatingly, Martin never even got the opportunity to hold his new child, but I think this brief talk with Kush does help him in some way. Kush even asks him whether he's cried for his loss yet, but when Martin admits he hasn't, Kush informs him that that's where he needs to start. If Martin is worried about Ruby and trying to be there for her, he needs to make sure that he can also grieve himself before he can look after his wife. He voices that he's finding it hard to believe that Stacey would purposely push Ruby down the stairs just so she would lose their baby, I mean anyone would find it hard to believe that anyone would/could be that cruel! The final scene of the episode, Martin is sat on Arthur's bench in the Square, he looks to be in deep thoughts of the days events, but as Stacey approaches him, he realises that things between them can't be as they once were. He needs to be there for his wife, she is more important than anything right now and maybe the best thing for everyone would be if Martin and Ruby had nothing more to do with each other, he reassures her that they'll be civil for the children's sake, but the kiss they shared at Christmas was a huge mistake. He's been over her for a long time now and Ruby is his priority, as far as he's concerned, his relationship with Stacey is over, for good!

Overall a very emotional and dramatic set of episodes! I apologise for this post being so so late, I have to admit I've been a little distracted and had a few breaks during the day whilst I've been writing this, but I'm glad to have finished and have it up now! I'm looking forward to seeing where these different stories go, please feel free to leave me a comment or a message letting me know what you're think, I'd love to hear your thoughts! Thank you everyone! I love you all xXx

[aedelia]

The Core of the Matter

(Phic Phight 2020) ( @dalv-co-official prompt An AU where Sam and/or Tucker also gain ghost powers )

AO3

FF.net

The Core of the Matter

Sam first noticed something was off when she started feeling emotions coming from her plants.  At first she thought it was her imagination, then she thought maybe a ghost was messing with her, but when she was able to revive a nearly wilted flower with just her touch she had to accept that she was the source of whatever this was.

She didn't tell Danny at first, she didn't want to worry him, but now that she seemed to be developing ghost powers of her own, she decided she had better consult with Tucker and bring it up with Danny. She put the pruning shears down on her workbench and exited her greenhouse.  At this time of day, Danny would probably be doing his early morning patrol.  Tucker was probably still up playing Doomed in the carryover of an overnight binge. She washed her hands and then slid into her computer seat once she reached her bedroom.  

She was right, Tucker was still online, grinding for some item or other on a medium level.  She teleported to him and requested a party invite so she could voice chat with him.  Once the invite was accepted she wasted no time getting to the point, "Hey Tucker, I just had something weird happen to me today with my greenhouse plants- like ghost weird."  Tucker blasted apart a few more enemies before responding, "Like what kind of ghost weird? Accidentally plant a ghost seed?  Was it a ghost pepper?"

 "Haha very funny.  No I was picking up a plant that was wilting and getting ready to transplant it when it perked up before my eyes and by time I had it in its new pot it was ridiculously healthy.  I rescued the poor thing from a home and garden store, but even with attentive care, it takes more than a minute for a plant to recover."

 "Ok, yeah that is pretty strange.  Have you talked to Danny about it yet?  This seems more like his area of expertise."

 "I'm going to but I wanted to check with you first, have you had anything ghost-weird happen to you lately?" Sam asked as she vaporized a few weak monsters that tried to attack her.

 "No, not since Technus hijacked my PDA a while back. Though, actually, I haven't had to charge Meredith in over a month.  I thought it was some carry over from the possession but maybe it's something more."

 "So do you think we're getting ghost powers? Because that would be totally cool, but neither of us have a good history when it comes to having ghost powers. I don't want to worry Danny but we might need to ask an actual ghost if we can't figure this out on our own."

 "Yeah I can see that making him stress out. Maybe we should ask Jazz too?  She might have an idea from listening to their parents go off about ghosts.  I know Danny usually leaves when the dissection talk starts so he might have missed some information."

 "That's a good idea, I'll message her once I get off Doomed.  Try to be up by noon so we can all hang out."

 "Will do." Tucker replied as he continued to mindlessly blast apart weak enemies in his quest for rare items.

 Sam left the party and walked her character back to the teleportation point for the level.  Once she was safely logged off of the game she pulled up quickMessage to get a hold of Jazz.  

 Ever the early riser, Jazz was already online, with a status of 'The early worm reads the book'.  Sam quickly typed up a greeting, "Hey Jazz, are you at the computer?"

 "I sure am, I just finished reading an online article for the paper I'm working on." was the quick response.

 "I have a potential issue I'd like your feedback on."

 "Go on."

 "I somehow healed one of my plants this morning and when I asked Tucker he said he hasn't had to charge his PDA in a few months. Have you had anything ghostly weird happen to you lately?"

  The typing indicator lit up for a solid two minutes before a message came in, "Yes.  Now that I think about it, I have.  Sometimes when I talk with someone face-to-face, I think I hear some of their thoughts. Also, when I'm reading a book I've been getting bits of what I think were thoughts of the last person to read or hold it."

 “Ok first off, that’s way cool.  Second, I think we need to have a talk with Danny.  Do you know if he’s up?”

 “He must have just gotten back in from morning patrol, I can hear the shower running.  When and where should we meet up?”

 “I told Tucker to be up by noon, he’s still playing Doomed right now but he was getting off soon.  Meet at the Nasty Burger?  Or in the park?”

 “I think the park would be better, less chance of being overheard. That one spot that you need ghost powers to get to easily?”

 “Yeah sounds like a plan.  Meet up around noon?  And I’ll bring a picnic basket.  Make sure Danny doesn’t know why we’re all hanging out way out there until we get there. Don’t want him to freak out on us before we are all together.”

 “I’m alright with this because I know we’ll be telling him right away. Once he’s out of the shower I’ll let him know we’re meeting up there and the time.  Once we’re all together he can fly us to the spot.”

 “Ok, see you guys then.”

 Jazz sent a thumbs up emote before going offline.

 Sam sent a quick text message to Tucker letting him know the plan before signing off of the chat app as well and heading for the shower.

 Once she was dressed in her favorite outfit she packed up a basket of both healthy food she grew or made herself, and junk food that would appeal to the boys.  

 She killed the last couple of hours reading some poetry that she was peer reviewing for the next poetry slam at the Skulk and Lurk.

 Once it was time to leave she snagged her packed basket and headed for the park.

 It only took her a short walk to reach the entrance of the park and a further few minutes to meet up with Danny, Jazz, and Tucker in a secluded spot near a small pond.

 Danny had a suspicious look on his face when she joined the group but still gave her a smile when they all linked arms to fly to their hang out spot.

 Sam grinned as the fizzy, light, feeling of intangibility rushed over them before they flipped invisible and lifted off.  Danny’s ghost powers always have a bit of an electric tingling like when someone was lightly running their nails over your skin.  It gave her goosebumps, but in a good way.

 ‘It would be pretty amazing to have ghost powers of my own.’ She mused as they flew.

 A few silent moments later and they gently touched down in a secluded clearing well away from any park visitors.  Considering that if you didn’t have the ability to fly, the only way to get there was through an old and crumbling drainage pipe, they weren’t going to be bothered by anyone.

 Danny transformed back to human and immediately started asking, “Ok, I know something’s up.  We don’t usually hang out way out here unless we need to talk about ghost stuff.  So what’s going on?” He looked between the three of them as they sat down and opened up the lunch basket.

 “Calm down my dude, nothing is immediately wrong.  Have a seat and we’ll get into it.” Tucker was the first to respond, patting the ground next to him before chomping a few of Sam’s homemade potato chips.

 “Don’t worry so much Danny, I don’t think anything’s wrong. We do need to have a discussion about some things that are going on though.” Jazz said as she offered him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on untoasted bread.

 Danny finally sat and once he was eating Sam spoke up, “So this morning I noticed something weird while working with my plants.  I talked with Tucker and Jazz about it earlier, and I think we’re developing our own ghost powers.”

 Danny started choking on his sandwich and Tucker had to pound his back for a moment before he was alright.

“Ghost powers?” he wheezed once he was under control again.

 “Yes.  Ghost powers.” Sam deadpanned before breaking into a grin, “All three of us have had different things happening that seem like powers unique to ourselves.  I’ve been able to feel emotions from my plants for a bit but didn’t notice until I healed a wilted one this morning.”

 “Rescue plant?” Danny asked, knowing Sam’s opinion on Home and Garden stores and their care of plants.  She nodded.

 Jazz was next, “I’ve noticed that I’m picking up thoughts of the people around me and from previous holders of books and papers that I’m reading. Which is why I know you’re suspicious right now, but consider how slowly these have been developing, this points to them being particular to each of us and not the result of ghostly interference.”

 Danny pulled a face, “That would make you a scary good psychologist,” before turning to Tucker, “And you Tuck?”

 “I haven’t noticed much unusual myself, but I haven’t had to charge Meredith in months.  Not since the last time Technus possessed her.  I didn’t really think about it until this morning though so maybe other things have happened too.” He shrugged.

 Danny sighed and ran a hand through his hair, dropping breadcrumbs without realizing it.  “I guess this is a thing that is happening.  I can’t say I’m feeling too optimistic about this whole thing but you do have a point, these seem to really run in line with your interests.”

He stood up, brushed crumbs off his lap, and said, “Well, if something ghostly is going on with you guys we should go get it checked out. The Far Frozen is the only place in the Ghost Zone that I’ve seen medical equipment so I guess that’s where we’ll go.”

 “Doesn’t hurt that they’d be more than willing to help the ‘Great One’.” Tucker smirked as he also stood.

“Ew! Tucker, don’t talk while you’re still eating!” Sam scolded as she wiped potato fragments off of herself.  She was packing up the empty containers as Jazz asked Danny, “The Great One?”

Danny just groaned and shook his head.  Tucker helpfully filled her in, “When Danny saved everyone from Pariah Dark the people of the Far Frozen, who are huge yetis by the way, made drawings and now they call him the ‘Great One’.  They were pretty happy that he stopped him from taking over the whole Ghost Zone. And you know, saved the world too.”

 Jazz ruffled Danny’s hair, dislodging the crumbs, and said, “Aw you should accept that people appreciate you and want to thank you little brother.”

 Danny made a halfhearted attempt at fending off her hands but they could all see that he was happy with the affection.

“Alright,” he said as he they linked arms once more, “Next stop, FentonWorks.  Good thing Mom and Dad are out on a ‘romantic’ paranormal getaway trip.” he grimaced slightly as he said the word “romantic”.  They took off and made short time in reaching their destination.

“Ok, if we’re actually getting powers, I want flight.” Tucker stated as they touched down in the kitchen.

 Danny gave a small grin at that, “Yeah definitely my favorite power by far.  Alright we’ll want the speeder, I don’t know about you guys, but I don’t want to have to fly all of us to the Far Frozen under my own power, it’d be too risky if another ghost wants to pick a fight.  Also tiring, so yeah.” He finished lamely before going down the stairs to the lab.

The rest of the group followed him down and Tucker slid into the driver’s seat.  “If your parents went on a paranormal trip, why didn’t they take the speeder?” he asked.

 Danny made a disgusted face, “It was a romantic paranormal getaway, I didn’t ask, and I don’t want to know.”

 Jazz shook her head, “They just wanted to go on an old fashioned ghost hunting trip which meant no fancy weapons.  I think they’re actually taking the scientific approach to this one instead of the violent one they’ve had in the past, and I’m glad for that.  It means that they’re more likely to accept that not all ghosts are bad.”

 “Yeah I guess, but I still don’t want to know any more.” Danny said.

 Once they were all seated, they flew through the portal and towards the Far Frozen.  They chatted about different ideas for the rest of the summer and Jazz’s college plans.

 Tucker smoothly flew them to the Far Frozen, avoiding ghosts fairly easily by this point.  He was considered the best at flying the speeder for a reason.  He was also the only one other than Danny to actually know how to use all of the buttons.

 They touched down on the snow with a light crunch and Danny flew out of the speeder in ghost form before the others could even get the door open.  They were still putting their coats, mittens, and hats on while he greeted Frostbite.

 “Great One!  It is good to see you again!” Frostbite boomed as he swept Danny into a hug.

“And Sam of the Very Vegan; Tucker, Lover of Meat; and who is this?” he asked as he met Jazz for the first time.

 “I’m Jasmine, but I prefer to be called Jazz.  I’m Danny’s older sister, it’s nice to meet you!” she held out her hand to shake and yelped as she was pulled into a hug.

 “Jazz, sister of the Great One, it is wonderful to meet you!” Please all come inside and we shall hold a feast in your honor!”

 Danny spoke up, “As great as that sounds, we do actually need some help and advice.  My sister and friends seem to be developing ghost powers of their own and I thought you would be able to check them out and find out what’s going on.”

 “Of course!  I would be delighted to help your companions!  Please, follow me to our lab.”  Frostbite led them to a short building and beckoned them inside.

Inside was a large, technologically advance lab, complete with computers and various machinery that looked more advanced than the lab in FentonWorks.

Danny ran his hand along the tank that he recovered in from his core freezing him when his ice powers developed.

 “Now please, one at a time, stand in that marked circle and I shall scan you for ectoplasmic anomalies.” Frostbite pointed to a large metal circle that was embedded in the floor of the lab.

Sam was the first to step forward.  She walked to the center and asked, “Now what?”

 “Just wait there for a moment while the machine scans you.” A few seconds later, the console beeped.  “You may step from the circle and the next person may enter.”

 Tucker went next and as soon as he was out Jazz followed suit.  “Great One, we should scan you as well, it has been quite a while since the last time and it would be good to compare your scans with your companions.”

Danny took a turn in the scanning circle as well and once they were all finished, they gathered around Frostbite by the display.

 Frostbite hummed thoughtfully as he looked at the symbols flashing over the screen.  He then pulled up a visual representation of each of their scans on the screen.

“I believe I know what’s going on now.  Your cores are developing.  All of your companions have developed their own ghostly cores and as they grow, they are experiencing inconsistent power surges.  That would cause them to manifest various ghostly powers.”

On the screen it showed five scans, Danny’s old scan from when his ice powers developed, his current scan, and the other three pictures were of Sam, Tucker, and Jazz.  Danny’s first picture had a fist sized flowing blue center, his second it was about half again as large, and much brighter.  Sam had a bright green dot in her center, Tucker a small pulsing blue and yellow, and Jazz had a very light purple pinprick in her scan.  

“Those are ghost cores?” Jazz asked.

 “Yes, they are very small right now, but if you nurture them properly, you will eventually be able to control your own powers and perhaps even develop a secondary form.” Frostbite said.  “It is not unheard of; I believe your foe, Plasmius, had a similar incident that led to him becoming a halfa.”

 Danny finally relaxed upon knowing that this wasn’t some ghostly shenanigan being pulled by a ghost bent on causing chaos.  “So this would have happened anyways, eventually?”

 “Likely so,” Frostbite answered, “there was a possibility that the cores would have ceased developing early on if they did not have frequent enough exposure to ectoplasmic radiation, but we are well past the danger point of that now.  It is likely that your presence, Great One, is what kept them from withering to nothing. As things are now, I recommend at least an hour a week spent in an ectoplasmic rich environment, such as the Ghost Zone, to keep them developing properly.  This is a rare opportunity; you will have the ability to guide your growth in beneficial ways.  Take some time to think about what is important to you and what the negative qualities those things may have.  Doing so will help to avoid developing unhealthy obsessions or overly dangerous powers.”

Sam was smiling as she asked, “Does this mean we’ll be able to choose what outfit we have when we get our own ghost forms?”

 “Indeed it does, however you should take care not to try to force the change yourself.  Once your cores have reached a sufficient size we can monitor you when you attempt to shift.  That would be best done here where we can help if something goes wrong.  Please come back and visit us every month so that we can keep an eye on your growth and answer any questions that you may have.”

 “Thank you so much Frostbite,” Danny said as they left the lab building, “unfortunately we don’t have time to stay for a feast, we don’t want to be missed by our families.”

 “No worries Great One!  We can have a planned feast upon your next visit.  I shall let the others know of these plans so that we will be prepared for your arrival in the next month’s time.  Feel free to come beforehand if you find you have urgent questions or concerns.” Frostbite swept them all into a hug at the same time before releasing them.  “Have a safe journey home!”  He stood and waved as the teenagers boarded the Speeder and flew away.

 As they flew home, they chattered excitedly about what outfits and powers they wanted to have.  

“I need a cape, capes are so Goth” Sam said.

“No capes!” Tucker piped up in an Edna Mode voice.

“If I can go intangible then capes are fine!” she argued back.

 “At least patrol should be a lot easier whenever you guys get ghost forms, we’d be able to work together even better for fights.” Danny said.

“Hey!  I wonder if Skulker will find me less unique and desirable as a trophy now, or if he’ll want all of us individually?”

 “I dunno dude, Vlad is a halfa too but Skulker doesn’t try to hunt him. I think he’ll want all of us.” Tucker said.

Danny sulked but made a noise of agreement as they approached the Fenton Portal.  

“I guess we’ll find out eventually.”

[thee-jazmineevans]

bloodline (ariana vs. mariah week)

who: jaz evans when: thursday, november 5th. throughout school. where: hallway, girl’s locker-room, choir room

Jazmine was putting some things in her locker. She had on her soccer warm-ups because she planned on going to the locker room and doing some work with weights. As she was about to close her locker, she noticed two hockey players in her face. The same ones she beat at beer pong at the party. “Hi guys...” Jaz said with an uncomfortable smile. She stepped back from them a bit.

They looked really sus to her. If they were like this at the party she wouldn’t have known, she was far too faded. The spiky-haired dickhead decided to speak first. “You know...you’re never gonna end up in anymore sandwiches dressed like that.” he said, while the other one giggled behind him. Jaz rolled her eyes. “Yes because girls are just dying to smash someone who uses gorilla snot spiking gel.” she teased. She thought this was banter...obviously these guys were joking right? Jaz spent the past night at Joey’s place and she had almost forgotten about the weight of the muckraker’s accusations. But they weren’t joking...the both leaned closer to her and the other one decided to speak. “Listen, I know you pretend to be all goody goody at school or whatever. But when you’re ready for a really good time...you know where to find us.” They snickered and walked away...leaving Jaz alone with a nasty feeling in her stomach. 

She looked back at the red metal in front of her. She felt a little bit powerless. A little bit out of control. She felt some tears welling up. Not today. She slammed the the locker closed and spun into the middle of the hallway. The lights dimmed around her as she began to dance, now dressed in a sickening little black dress, fishnets and chunky doc martens. 

“Even though you're bad for me, I know You're the one that I'm thinkin' Got me feelin' so incredible Would you mind maybe linkin'?“

Random boys in the hallway walk into the shot and start dancing seductively around Jaz as she sings. Jaz pushes one toward the locker as the prechorus starts and they all body roll against the lockers in a line. 

“Love me, love me, baby Are you down? Can you let me know? Love me, thank you, leave me Put it down, then it's time to go Get it like you love me But you don't, boy, it's just for show Take it or leave it, you gotta take it or leave it like uh”

As we transition to the chorus, we cut to the locker room where Jaz and a bunch of other soccer girls are having a wild time. Jaz looks happy and confident and supported by all her best gal pals. Less intense choreography, just gals having fun.

“Don't want you in my bloodline, yeah Just wanna have a good time, yeah And no need to apologize, no But you gon' have to let this shit go Don't want you in my bloodline, yeah Not tryna make you all mine, yeah And no need to apologize, no But you gon' have to let this shit go, yeah”

At the start of the bridge, we’re in the choir room where Jaz is actually performing Bloodline for the New Directions backed by some of her friends on the dance team. Even if she isn’t hitting all of the choreography at 100%, she’s definitely a lot more confident singing by herself than any of the New Directions have ever seen her. 

“Say I know what you want, what you want from me I know what you think, what you think you see (So what you think) I know what you looking for, but I'm complete (Yee) I know what you need, but it won't be me I know what you want, what you want from me I know what you think, what you think you see I know what you looking for, but I'm complete I know what you need, but it won't be me (But it won't be me)”

Jaz really lets loose for the final chorus, allowing the dancers and other members of New Directions to sing the chorus while she ad-libs and does runs over it, interacting with the band and making sexy eye contact with her friends in ND. She takes a huge breath after her last run when the song ends and celebrates with the dancers who performed with her. Performing definitely made her feel better...but now that the music faded away and she was in front of ND to talk about her song choice for this week’s assignment she didn’t feel nearly as confident in her dress. 

“Um...I know a lot of you probably expected me to sing a more somber song considering the week I’ve had. But honestly...some girls have been through kinda worse and I don’t wanna bum everyone out. What I love about Ariana is that she’s always been really vocal about girls being empowered in our like male dominated society and...i think McKinley needed some of that energy this week.” She explained. “Shoutout to the dance team for teaching me that choreography...I really needed it.” She said with a nod as she rushed back to her seat after applause from her peers. Maybe she had wasted her last two years in ND not taking opportunities like this to perform. She felt way better than she felt when she was anxious in the hallway thinking about all the rumors people made about her. 

[phandom-phriend]

Phic Phight 2020 - Unrequited Love

“Reveal fic--Danny, Valerie, Vlad, or Dani gets outed in the most inconvenient way.” | Prompt by @pesky-poltergeist

Word count: 2,181

A lot has happened since Fenton became Phantom.

It’s only been a year and so far the teen has fought countless ghosts, was cloned, has constant targets on his back from both ghosts and humans, lost his sleep schedule entirely, saved the world (a few times), found out that the only other half ghost that could possible help him adjust is kind of crazy and infatuated with his mom, became a town icon, ect..

Oh! And he died. So there’s that.

But recently, maybe the most horrific event to date had occurred. After a long battle with a ghost who-shall-not-be-named, he came home tired. Clumsy. A little out of his element. And may have...sort of...transformed back in front of his parents whom he didn’t even notice were in the kitchen with him.

Typical Danny luck if you ask him.

And since then things have been weird between them. Weirder than normal, at least. Neither one of them brought up the incident. Danny chalked it up to them not believing what they saw, or maybe thinking the illusion was a byproduct of handling so many chemicals in the lab for long periods of time. But they were quieter now. As if listening for his footsteps and breathing. And watching him more closely, closer than they ever paid attention to him before. They smiled, but their eyes. Their eyes held fear and apprehension. A dangerous combo for anyone with as great of an artillery as they had.

So Danny wasn’t exactly keen on the idea of bringing up the topic himself.

But when Jaz left for a study date with her friends on some random Friday evening, Danny had the unfortunate luck to be caught by his parents in the kitchen. Not literally! But they were set up with serious faces at the table just… waiting for him. Like they used to do when he got in trouble at school but now the air felt darker. It wasn’t sufficateing, no. They were still his parents after all. Even with all their blasters and ghost-hating ideals Danny wasn’t scared of them. Something just felt off. A little uneasy.

He sat at the table across from them anyway.

“What’s up? You guys are usually in the lab around now. Got a new breakthrough?”

“Not quite, Danny.” Maddie began, voice even. “Your father and I have something to talk about with you.”

“Alright, shoot.” The teen noticed the way his mother's hand flinched from its spot on the table. He ignored it.

“In the kitchen, a few nights ago. Phantom came in.”

“Oh, uh, really? What did he say?”

Jack sighed. “Danny, he transformed. Into you.”

“Oh, well-”

“Are you an imposter? Answer honestly, and don’t think for a second I won’t know if you are lying.”

“Mom?!”

“She’s just a little spooked, son. We just want to know what’s going on.”

Danny froze. Did they know so little about him that they thought he was some...fake? Not knowing him apart from Phantom was one thing. But not telling him from himself…? He shook his head to clear those thoughts. He’s seen stranger things. And he has been impersonated before. There’s good reason to be wary, it’s fine. “No, mom. I’m not some fake. I’m Danny.” he spoke calmly.

She stood from the table, eyes blocked by the red of her goggles, expression flat. It’s always bothered Danny that no matter how she moves, her suit is always silent. How can such a material rubbing against each other as she walks, as she moves, stay so silent? Well, his parents were always on the odd side. Maybe it was nothing. It is probably nothing.

“How can we be so sure?” her voice is as flat as her lips. He can’t tell what she’s thinking. No, he doesn't want to know.

“Well, what are some questions only I would know the answers to?”

Jack took this opportunity to jump in. “What’s your least favorite holiday?”

“Christmas.”

“Who are your best friends?”

“Sam and Tucker.”

Maddie clicked her tongue. “These questions are too obvious Jack. What if the ghost was able to take his memories?”

“Then how am I supposed to prove anything to you?”

“What is something you know that we don’t?”

Well, that was a tough one. Danny knew a lot that they didn’t know. But most of it was centered around his ghost half or the ghost zone, and that felt like dangerous territory to tred in without his parents leading the conversation there. That leaves his school life, which is a mess. And his time that he spends with his friends. But that, unfortunately, is typically one of three things recently. Ghost fighting, the Nasty Burger, and other illegal activities as a result of ghost fighting. Not exactly the best idea, but he’s certainly had worse.

“Uh, well. I snuck into the lab yesterday and took one of your in-progress projectors and may have sort of broken it. But it’s okay! Tucker is helping me fix it!”

“What?! How didn’t I notice!” Jack yelled from where he still sat, shock clear in both his face and tone. Danny didn’t bother to tell him that a lot of things happened without his notice, although his mom seemed to have the same thought with the side-eye she gave her husband.

“Mabe because he was a ghost when he snuck in.” she supplied with snide.

Well, she wasn’t wrong.

“Then how am I supposed to have you believe me? No matter what I say, you’ll just throw that “he’s been replaced” or “he’s being possessed” nonsense back in my face. I just want to go to my room and take a nap. What do I have to do to make that happen sooner?”

“We could take blood samples.” Maddie nodded to herself as if that had all the answers. 

For the first time that night, Danny felt his blood run cold. That was a bad, bad idea. Not only would it look more suspicious for how his DNA has so drastically changed and morphed, but being down in the lab… it does things to him. Makes him paranoid, mostly. But sometimes, when certain gadgets are left about on their work benches, it hurts. Leaves him dazed. Has the air left his lungs so forcefully it feels as if it were stolen.

Confession time, it is. A horrible, very bad time. But he’s so tired. He just wants this to be over, for things to be okay again. He was going to tell them eventually anyway, he just wishes he never had to. But he still can’t bring himself to just blurt it out, so he’ll have to twist his parents into that direction.

Danny can’t help but wish for Jazz to be here with him.

“Well, there could be other possibilities for what you saw.” Danny shrugs, hiding the panic he feels about the tests she wishes to conduct. Divert, divert, divert.

“Annd what would that be?”

“Wellllll…. Dad! You have a theory, right? The one you told me about last week?”

Almost as if there was a buffer symbol where his brain should be, Jack froze, leaving the room in a stiff, still silence as the older man tried to recall whatever it was from a week ago. Right before Maddie could break it herself, Jack shot up with a grin. “That’s right! Ghost molding!”

“Ghost...molding? Jack, honey, what are you talking about?”

“There are ghosts that look a lot like things, right? That one that looks like a tornado, or that other one that looks like some cartoon mad scientist.”

“Yes, dear. What are you getting at?”

“What if some ghosts mold how they look based on things they have a strong connection to. Like a family member, what killed them, or something like that. That’s why some ghosts look similar to one thing or another but have their own traits.”

Maddie seemed to think for a moment before turning back to her son with an eyebrow raised. “I suppose it would explain why Danny and Phantom look so similar. But what connection does our son have to a ghost?”

Man, where does he even start? What connections doesn't he have?

“He could be related to us?” Jack asked, thoughtful.

“No, no one who knew us has died that young. Even if they took their looks after our Danny, they would still have an age to them.”

“Well, there’s no way Danny killed them!” Jack said thoughtfully.

Well, that was only half true. They were getting closer.

“Do you think he was… there? When he died? Or when he came back?”

Danny snapped his fingers with a smirk. Both proud that they got as close to the truth as they did. “Bingo!”

Instead of a smile, Maddie just glared at him, causing him to shrink in his seat. “Explain.”

“I was there when he… died. And when he came back.”

“That’s not possible. Ghosts take time to manifest. Even then it’s in the ghost zone before they make their way back.”

“True, true. Unless…”

“I’m not playing these games with...you.”

“Alright! Unless… they died in the Ghost Zone, right? Or, more likely, at the portal.”

“How is that even possible. We would have discovered a body in our lab.” Maddie sneered with distrust at her son's words. Before he could say anything, his father jumped in.

“What if there was no body?!” Jack jumped up, hands accidentally hitting the table and making the whole thing shake. “Danny!” But then his tone changed. Quieter, reserved. A tone that didn’t belong on the vibrant man. “What… happened to you?”

“Don’t be crazy, Jack! What are you even thinking?! Nothing happened to our son. If this isn’t him, then he’s somewhere else.”

“He’s right.” Danny cut in shyly, hating the new dynamic. This had to change, and he had to change it. “Something did… happen.”

“No…”

“It was the day the portal turned on, two years ago.”

“Danny…” there was a warning edge in her voice, but he pressed on. He was too far now. They needed to know.

“I went inside to check it out. I tripped on some wire…”

“Danny, stop.”

“And pressed the ON switch by accident. A strange place to put it, really.” Danny chuckled awkwardly, trying to lift the mood. It didn’t work. “The portal turned on when I was inside.”

“Danny!”

“It hurt, a lot. But only for a moment. When I woke up again, I was Phantom. Well, a ghost at the time. I didn’t really choose a name until later.”

Maddie pulled out her blaster and pointed it at him, armed and ready. Thankfully, Jack leapt from his seat as Danny did the same, although Jack took a hold of his wife's wrist and forced her to aim upwards. She didn’t pull the trigger, but Jack didn’t let go.

“Mom!”

“Don’t call me that!” she spat out through clenched teeth as my heart seemed to fall through the floor. This isn’t how it was supposed to go.

“I’m not a ghost!” he pleaded, although he began to back away from his parents in case things went more south. “I didn’t die, not fully!”

“Don’t lie! Don’t use my son's form to lie to me!”

“I have a pulse!” the teen cried out desperately, tears threatening to spill. “I need to eat, drink, sleep! I’m still human. I’m just different now, don’t you see that?”

“Maddie.” Jack sighed out.

“Don’t be fooled! Either our son is dead or this thing is an imposter, honey! You can’t seriously believe it!”

“I mean, -I” Danny felt his throat close up. Was being half-ghost so bad? Sure, he didn’t think this talk would go well. But a blaster?! Was it really so hard to believe he wasn’t the monster they were making him out to be?

Was she right?

Danny shook his head and stood straighter. “I’m only half dead if you want to get technical. Even then, I consider it more as having powers than being dead.” He could see she wanted to say something but cut her off anyway. “Is it so bad? I help people! I-I fought a king, saved the world! What will it take for me to please you?! For things to, to be okay again?”

To his surprise, she dropped the blaster from her grasp, Jack slowly letting her arm go and taking the blaster for himself. But he did not point it at Danny, instead he set it on a far counter. Now looking at him, Danny could see how… sad his usually vibrant eyes looked. What was he supposed to do now? What had he already done?

His mother slowly walked to him, lips pressed in a frown. Danny stood his ground even as she leaned over him and whispered, no amount of affection in her tone. Only a stone coldness he’s never had directed to him before. “You may not be fully dead, but you are not my son.”

Mind clouded and fuzzy, Danny ran from the mother he loved, but no longer loved him.

[fablesrose]

Of Kings and Shadows XIX

Description: Y/n, a girl who seems to have found her calling. Being a SHIELD agent is like a dream come true. With a friendship starting to form with the Avengers, she’s the Queen of the world! What could go wrong?

Pairings: Avengers x reader, Loki x reader (eventually)

Notes: On Wattpad –> Here

Masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tH2w6Oxx0kQ (Theme music)

And just like that, I watched what little was left of my life unravel, bit by bit.

At least, that's what I would say if I was graced with a mirror, but alas 'twas not so.

I started to think that I was unconscious more often than awake anymore. That's not to say that my body was unconscious, no. I started to feel this dark presence in my brain. It was always stronger when I woke up, so the only conclusion that I can come to is that it's the one in control while I'm not. The other scary thought is that it doesn't feel new like it's been in my head for far longer than it's been controlling. Maybe it's all of those intrusive thoughts, bringing out the worst in me all bundled up into an artificial intelligence type thing that I used to call Noxy. Maybe it's still her just amplified.

At first, I wondered if it was amnesia. Or maybe it was brainwashing. I've seen the files, they've done it before. But then I started to notice that Jaz always knew when I was awake. Maybe she just acted like that all the time despite the blackouts, but then I asked her about it. She said I moved differently, spoke a little funny. She said I wasn't quite me. I mean, I don't have first-hand experience in brainwashing or amnesia, but I'm pretty sure they don't change behaviors in-between splotches of memory blanks.

All I knew is there was nothing I could do about it. The harder I tried to grasp onto some bit of control, the faster the situation turned to smoke and slipped through my fingers.

Jasmine kept telling me that they would escort me out of the cell, but by the time I woke up, I was back in the presence of Jaz with no recollection of the meetings outside the room went like. The only trips that I could remember anymore were the times I was thrown into the lightroom. The times where I didn't want to remember, were the only times I could remember, and it was so frustrating. The light itself only brought exhaustion now. Henry noticed and he 'upgraded' the torture chamber. Now it administered shocks of electricity to increase the agony. I guess there was an upside in which I was never awake for the whole experience. I would blackout at some point and wake up what I'm assuming was a couple of days later.

I told myself I was going to fight through this. I was going to make it. But how do you fight against yourself? Suddenly those pills didn't look half bad. The only problem was that I wasn't awake enough to collect them. Jaz needed all the pain meds she could get, and I'm sure Noxy took the pills as quickly as they came, or even sent them back.

I decided I was going to make the most of what little time I had left. My sanity was slipping. My options were either to become as numb as my body; cry and scream, letting them win; or, I could sing. I could cherish what little time I had left. I could rebel against them in the only way I was able.

So any chance I got I would sing, and I'd laugh, and I'd smile.

"Hey, Jaz."

She looked over at me from examining the tips of her hair, "Hmm?"

"Do you know the song Get It On by T.Rex?" I couldn't help my mouth twitching up into a smile.

She scrunched up her face, "Yeah. Yeah, I do." She opened her eyes just to clarify, "Only the first verse and the chorus though."

I nodded at her, "same here."

"Well, you're dirty and sweet." I started singing, seeing if she would join in.

She left a pause, but eventually sang the next line, "Clad in black don't look back and I love you."

"You're dirty and sweet, oh yeah," I sang, laying the charm on thick.

"Well you're slim and you're weak." We both started giggling.

I had a hard time getting through the next line, "You've got the teeth of the hydra upon you."

There was quite a long pause where we were crying laughing. The irony was just too much to handle.

"You're dirty sweet and you're  my girl."

We sang the chorus together, "GET IT ON! BANG A GONG! GET IT ON!"

Neither of us could get through the rest of the song, mostly because we didn't know the rest, but maybe a little bit from the laughing fit we just couldn't stop.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVEhDrJzM8E

One song I had stuck in my head for so long that Jaz eventually learned all the words as well as me.

She even started singing it to me one night,

"You're leaving now It's in your eyes There's no disguising it It really comes as no surprise To find that you planned it all along.

"I see it now Becomes so clear Your insincerity And me all starry-eyed You'd think that I would have known by now."

It took me a little while to pull my head together. My eyes were drooping and looking at Jaz burned but despite that, I was able to continue the song after she took a breath.

"Now, sure as the sun will cross the sky This lie is over Lost, like the tears that used to tide me over."

Jaz picked up again and I let her smooth voice roll over me,

"One thing is sure That time will tell If you were wrong The brightest ring around the moon Will darken when I die."

I claimed this one stanza as my own and continued to sing it,

"Now, sure as the sun will cross the sky This lie is over Lost, like the tears that used to tide me over."

I could tell Jaz was having a rough night as her voice started to get thick.

"You're leaving now It's in your eyes There's no disguising it It really comes as no surprise To find that you planned it all along

"I see it now Becomes so clear Your insincerity And me all starry-eyed You'd think that I would have known by now."

I found myself finding it harder and harder to keep my eyes open, and my voice reflected it, becoming quieter.

"Now, sure as the sun will cross the sky This lie is over Lost, like the tears that used to tide me over."

Jaz, in turn, got quieter as well, but since she was on her side and facing me I could hear her loud and clear.

"You're on your own Inside your room,"

I had my eyes open enough to notice that she rolled over and it seemed like she was staring at the camera that was ever watching us.

"You're claiming victory You were just using me And there is no one you can use now."

I couldn't hold my eyes open any longer and felt myself drifting asleep as she sang the last lines.

"One thing is sure That time will tell."

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFZ3Qhn5dW8

That was the last time I saw Jasmine Okoro.

I woke up paralyzed. Stuck inside my own head. My body was moving of its own accord and no matter what I did I couldn't stop it. I finally got to really witness what I acted like when I wasn't awake. Strangely, I couldn't see everything either. It was like I had blinders on. I was looking through binoculars at what my hands were doing. I was sitting on my bed doing absolutely nothing. I could tell I was in a different room. The cots in my previous cell were bolted to the ground and the wall. This new room had only one bed, the one I was sitting on, and no evidence of there ever being a cot across from mine. The walls were perfectly white, the floor, perfectly smooth, at least, that's what I could tell without being able to control where my eyes were placed.

There was a dark cloud in my mind, surrounding me. When I stayed in the little corner of my head that I was shoved into, the fog was numbing, soft, but constricting. I tried to break out, move through it, but when I tried it became as strong and hard as a brick wall. No matter how hard I pounded on it, it didn't give. No matter how hard I screamed, there was silence.

So I sat there. And I thought. And I thought. And I cried with no tears.

I felt empty.

Occasionally Noxy would move around, and I now knew that I wasn't just forgetting. When she did move I took in as much of my surroundings as I would allow. She tenderly touched my inner elbow where I saw a new bruise. A black one. When her fingers brushed against it I could feel the pain shoot through the nerves and I flinched. But my body didn't.

A sense of dread overtook me. The wall came closer. I've seen the movies, read the files, heard the stories. This isn't gonna end well.

The door opened nearly silently, so much different than the room before. Noxy barely tilted my head to see who came in.

Henry walked in and sat on the bed next to me since there wasn't any other place to sit. Noxy scooted over to give him room and just looked at him. He examined my face for a long while, and I equally did so to him. What was he thinking? Did he know that I was still here? Or was he not happy with what I had become and was just going to get rid of me and start from scratch?

I couldn't tell.

After an agonizingly long time, he spoke, "If everything went according to plan..." He tilted his head a degree, "Mistress is either gone or locked away so far in that pretty little head of yours that she's never coming out. If you are still in there Mistress... you should be awake by now and I know you're listening."

It felt like he was staring right at me. Not my body or Noxy, but me. Y/n M/n L/n. It was unsettling.

"We tried something different with you. Others are content with their brainwashing and memory wipes, but not for me and not for you," he gently tapped the tip of my nose and I desperately wanted to recoil. "It's just sanding the paint and putting a new coat on. The previous color is still there, you just can't see it. With you, it's more like deciding to put a brick wall in front of the drywall. It's a lot harder to go back if instead of peeling paint, it's grouted in." He paused, still staring into my eyes before lightening up, "But anyway," he took hold of my hand and I felt my lips widen into a polite smile, "I just came to see how you were settling in, and it looks like it's nicely."

He let my hand fall as he stood up and walked back to the door, right as he was about to step out he looked back at me. No, back at her. "Congrats on becoming my Queen."

Then, out of nowhere, my mouth opened, but my voice didn't come out. It felt different. Sounded different. It sounded... better, stronger, darker, everything I'm sure Henry wanted me to be.

"Thank you for having me, my King."

[xoxowrestlinggyrl]

Mall Trip

Requested: Yes

Pairing: Dean Ambrose x Reader

Word Count: 1880

Warning[s]: Cursing

Summary: It’s been a long time since you and Dean had a break. One weekend you both had nothing on the agenda. The two of you decide to go on a mall trip with your child. The mall was crowded since it was a Saturday. You had to go off and buy an item from one of the stores in the mall. Instead of the three of you going together, Dean insisted that your child will be fine with him. You agreed and headed off. Dean got distracted, and he lost your child. He looked through the mall to find your child, and he ended up finding them in a place he least expected. He found your child in time before you came back. You didn’t know the difference.

Key[s]: Y/S/N= Your Son’s Name Y/S/N/N= Your Son’s Nickname & Y/F/S= Your Favorite Store/Shop

Tag[s]: https://jazmoxley.tumblr.com/

A/N: I hope you loved it Jaz! If you want to get tagged in any of my future work. Let me know. Also, Requests are open!

“Of all days to choose to go to the mall, we are here the day that everyone and their mom decided to show up,” Dean remarked, jokingly. Your husband, Dean made an effort to joke around during times like these. He knows that you get stressed out in these situations. Now, your stress out to the brim because the two have your son here. Y/S/N is four years old, so he is in the exploration time of his life. You’ve always had an eye on him. However, Dean is the more lenient parent. He will let Y/S/N explore quite a bit, and his excuse is, “Y/S/N is a kid, so let him be a kid.” True, but it scared the daylights out of you thinking of anything that could happen to your son.

“Mommy, what does daddy mean by that? I showed up with you here, so everyone else did too?” Y/S/N asked, looking up at the two of you with curious eyes. It’s truly an adorable sight.

You smiled down at him before crouching kneeling down, so you were eye to eye with him. “Y/S/N what your daddy means that there is a lot of other people in the mall. I don’t think everyone has their mom here since I don’t have mine here.” You explained to the boy before looking up at Dean, who tried holding back a laugh. You gave him a look, signaling to him that this isn’t a joke.

“Yes, your mommy is right, Y/S/N. You know, daddy was just pulling your leg.” Dean said, which opened a whole lot of questions by just that one sentence.

A horrified expression was on your son’s face. He literally thought that Dean was pulling his leg. “Pulling my leg?!!” He asked, in horror. “What does that mean?!” He looked at Dean in horror.

“Nothing, daddy is being funny.” You said, laughing. Y/S/N’s face faded from horror to laughing just like you were.

Y/S/N smiled, “I understand, mommy.” Then, his attention was diverted to music from the carousel from nearby. Your son’s eyes lit up like he saw Santa on Christmas Day. “Mommy, Mommy, Daddy, Daddy, can I get on the horses!!!!!” He yelled in excitement. “Please, please, can I get on them?! I love horses!!” He added on. Although he has never shown interest in horses, you weren’t going to deny him from going on the carousel.

“Of cou-” You began, but your own attention diverted to Y/F/S. If anyone knew you well, they would know that it’s your favorite store. Every single time you were in the vicinity of Y/F/s, you always made a bee-line to the shop. Now, you had to fight off that urge. Dean and Y/S/N were here, and you knew that you couldn’t go to the shop. Little did you know, Dean noticed this.

Dean picked up Y/S/N, “Yes, we can buddy. You’re going to have to go with your daddy because mommy has to go get something.” He told your son. Then, he looked over at you, motioning his head into the direction of Y/F/S. It was as if to tell you to go.

“Okay, but mommy is going to miss out!” Y/S/N giggled. As the person you are, you felt selfish with leaving the two of them alone. Especially while in a crowded mall like this one. If anything bad happened to Y/S/N, you don’t know how or if you can live with yourself.

“Dean, you know, I don’t need to go.” You whispered to Dean, making sure that Y/S/N didn’t hear the conversation.

Dean gave you a look, “Y/N, come on. We will be perfectly fine alone. Just go to Y/F/S and go nuts. You deserve it.”

“Are you sure? I can miss out this one time.” You told him. Dean nodded his head.

“I am very sure Y/N. This is our break, you deserve to take some time and spoil yourself.” Dean looked into your eyes. “The two of us will be perfectly fine. Don’t worry about us.” He said. You couldn’t believe that you were considering this. Especially under these current circumstances. However, you know Dean wouldn’t do anything to put Y/S/N in harm’s way.

“Alright, I will be back.” You told Dean, smiling before. “Y/S/N, I hope you have a fun time on that carousel. Tell me all about it once I get back.” You smiled and kissed your son’s cheek before walking off in the direction of Y/F/S.

Dean’s Point Of View

I looked around for Y/N after I got off of the carousel with Y/S/N. Thankfully, we both had our phones with us. Instead of interrupting her time in Y/F/S, I decided to walk around the mall with our son. As we walked around, I came across the Lego Store.

“Look, Y/S/N/N, it’s the Lego store. I know how much love Legos. Do you want to go check it out?” I asked him with a smile. We were doing more than what Y/N agreed to, but she was still in Y/F/S. I doubt that Y/s/N would want to sit on a bench for however long. He’d grow antsy in less than ten minutes.

“Yes!!!! I love Legos!” Y/S/N said, and I put him down on the ground. Just before we started walking together, I felt someone tap my shoulder.

“Hello sir, can you please fill out this survey?” A guy asked. He looked to be in his twenties. I think his job is to give surveys to mall-goers.

I looked at the guy, “Is it a short one?” I asked. The guy nodded his head.

“It will take you two minutes, max.” He told me. I decided to fill out the survey since it will only take two minutes. At least, from what he told me.

“Alright, I will take the survey,” I said, shrugging my shoulders. I filled out the survey, which took two minutes. At least, it felt like that long to me.

“Here you go, man,” I told him, handing him back the pen and paper. The guy took the paper. “Thank you.” He said before walking away.

“Y/S/N, are you ready to-” I began, before looking down in horror. Y/S/N was gone. To be sure I looked in the distance. There was no Y/S/N. Then, I turned around to see if he was behind me. He wasn’t there either.

A feeling a panic ran through me. “Shit,” I mumbled under my breath. I sped walked and looked around for my son. No, no, no, I can’t lose Y/S/N. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself, and Y/N would kill me… I mean literally. For two minutes, I took my eyes off him, and he was gone. He couldn’t have gone too far within two minutes. However, I can’t put it past him.

I stopped a woman with two kids in tow. “Hello, have you seen this child?” I asked, showing a picture of Y/S/N from my wallet. The woman shook her head.

“No, but he is adorable.” She said, and I thanked her before walking away. I asked a middle-aged couple and a group of teenagers. They all gave me the same answer. I took a breath, trying to calm down. How could I have lost my son in the mall?  I felt like the worst parent in the world. Was I that careless? Y/N always told me that parents all make mistakes. However, I made the worst mistake. I highly doubt that Y/N will be very forgiving. In my mind, I started preparing for how I am going to apologize to her. Out of nowhere, I had an “aha moment”. I know exactly where Y/S/N has to be. If he wasn’t here, I truly lost him.

I sprinted into the Lego store. Kids, teenagers, parents and adults alike were playing around with Legos. In order for me to find Y/S/N, I had to look around the store. There were a number of places he could have been, playing with Legos. It seemed like an hour passed I looked around for him. A store worker walked up to me with a smile on her face.

“Can I help you?” The worker asked. I pulled out my wallet with the picture of Y/S/N.

“Yes, I am looking for this boy,” I told her. She took a good look at the picture. The worker seemed to be studying his face.

“I’ve seen him before.” She said, looking around the store. It seemed as if on cue, Y/S/N walked towards a small table with a set of Legos on it. “There he is!” She exclaimed as if she was much help.

“Thank you so much, ma’am,” I said, scurrying over to my son. The last thing anyone would want is to lose their child. I picked him up, and I pulled him into a long hug.

“Daddy, you’re here!” Y/S/N pointed out. As if he expected me to come into the store.

“Please, Y/S/N, don’t ever scare me ever like that again. Always wait for your mommy or me before walking off.” I told him, looking him in his eyes. It was to get him to understand to never do such a thing.

Y/S/N nodded, “I won’t ever do that again. Am I in trouble?” He asked, pouting a little bit. I shook my head.

“No, you’re not in trouble, Y/S/N/N,” I told him.

“How are my two favorite boys?!” I heard the familiar voice of Y/N. A smile curled up on my lips before looking over at her. Y/N had a few bags from Y/F/S, and she seemed delighted to see the two of us. “I’m assuming that you both are doing really well since we’re in the Lego store.” She joked a bit.

“Mommy, it was so fun. Daddy and I rode on the carousel three times before going to play Legos! This is the best day ever!” Y/S/N stated, and he started to ramble on.

“Really? It sounded like so much fun. Too bad I had to miss out.” Y/N said.

“I know, but you can come next time.” Y/S/N said, with a hopeful look.

“Of course not, I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” She told our son before looking over at me.

“Good job, Dean. I don’t think Y/S/N has ever been this happy when I took him to the Lego store.” Y/N giggled, pecking my lips.

“Thank you-” I began, but was interrupted by our son.

“Ewww, mommy and daddy. That’s nasty.” He said, covering his eyes. I looked at Y/N, and she looked at me. We both started to laugh. Even with the bump in the road, a trip to the mall was worth it.